I feel you as far as them knowing deep down. I'm not debating that. But what I'm saying is it doesn't matter. As men, we should always make our thoughts, words and actions align (especially when dealing with people we care for). It doesn't matter what she believes or not, what games she trying to run on you or playing on herself. If you are true, she won't be able to say shyt to you.
I swear i haven't argued with a girl since 2013. I don't argue with girls, i try my best not to lie (not even for them, because their puss or love is not even worth the lie. It's not worth me compromising myself). I just say what is true from. My perspective and let the chips fall where they may. If i get a disrespectful tone (i don't let it get to where they raise their voice) i check them. If it continues i leave the convo. If it's a pattern then i remove the person from my life. So yeah while i agree that many women are delusional and will believe their own bs, i think the way to avoid all that is to just be real and always be willing to walk away at the hint of disrespect.