Is This Bullying?

Is this bullying?


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Yo Mama

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(sorry its so long but background is needed)

My kid is now in first grade.

When she was 4 she used to complain that the other kids wouldn't let her play their games. But I thought she was being dramatic coz when I went to pick her up she would be playing with kids in her class while they all waited to be picked up. So I would think it was petty 4 year old squables.

She would break into tears and insist she had been pushed on purpose. And I'd think it was just kids non-stop running and bumping into each other. She would regularly ask to change schools coz no one liked her...

So one day I go pick her up and ask whats wrong. She wouldn't speak so I waited till we were half way home to ask again. She got angry and threw the hello kitty barrets that had been in her hair on the front seat. They were broken. I asked if someone had removed and broken them. She loved them, they were part of outfits from their granny. After a while she said she had broken them coz the other kids had told her all she cared about was being told how pretty she is...

It turns out the "other kids" are a few 3rd and 4th grade girls who had been giving her a hard time all along. Some kids in her class have older sisters and when they went to play with their older siblings the other 4 year olds tagged along they wouldn't let my kid play whatever game it was they were playing. (She meant no-one liked her but she meant the other little girls wouldn't play with her if the older girls said so). Funny the little boys never abandoned her so maybe they are more immune to littoe girls bullying, coz her closet little friends are the little boys from her class, and have play dates with the little boys mums.

I feel so bad coz I'd been dismissing what she had been saying all along.

I talked to her teacher and I asked her not to make a big deal about it but to keep an eye out and deal with anything that cropped up. And to watch the younger ones as they played with the older kids. So the teacher either keeps them in class or goes out to watch them play. I think she asked the other kids and they told her what had been going as well...

So the teacher actually did keep an eye on her coz she recently caught some older girls (not the same group) one girl was like 14/15 and they were trying to talk my daughter into a "cool hair cut" at school.

My daughter isnt some dazzling beauty that every girl is jealous off. Coz it was other girls who saved her from the aspiring "hair dressers". But she has this wierd thing where some people fawn over her especially adults male/female. It started as a new born believe it or not and I thought it would die out but its still going on. She is a cute kid and all but she has this magnetism and she is apparently a "beauty" according to people. People would beg to just hold her or kiss her as a baby, now still she seems to draw peoples people to her, or completely repel them.

The teachers fawn over her and tell me how smart she is... Even those from other classes who don't teach her.(academically she is actually really smart).

But when people don't like her, a very few, they are nasty about it. Like barely controlled rage, even when she was still a baby. A couple of disturbing encounters, some scary.

This was in a thread I posted in when she was little(er). In 2017.
Shes cute but not that cute. She looks like any other kid I see. I'm not putting her down but I think the creepy thing goes beyond looks. She just draws people in.

...............

So its not all "positive" stuff she also brings out unwarranted anger from a few people. When my mom realised its extent she was paranoid that she would get kidnapped or killed. I don't think this will happen.

I just pray that whatever it is that draws people just dies down, I dont see or feel what people see, my husband as far as I can tell doesn't either.

SORRY ABOUT THE LONG POSTS. ITS JUST A PROBLEM THAT SEEMS TO HAVE NO SOLUTION AND IT WORRIES ME,
I SEE NOTHING GOOD COMING FROM IT


The older kids seem to hang out around the whole school. Next parents meeting I'm complaining that they keep the kg classes, primary classes and high school classes separate.

What worries me is when people like hwr they love her, but unfortunately when people don't like her it seems to boarder on hate. I didn't worry about school coz I assumed they are all kids and it won't be an issue.

What do I even say to her. Tell her not bother with "haters". She is surprisingly not vain considering how people feel the need to tell her how beautiful/pretty/cute she is. But she is a kid do I try to convince her that a few kids not wanting to play with you isn't the end of the world. Or leave it and see how it plays out.

Is this normal, fonts with kids in this age range?

Family members seem to be under the same spell so thy think its "bullying haters".
 
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Yo Mama

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I have another kid. A year younger. She looks a lot like the first kid and draws peoples attention (i think for jusr being a cute little kid) but no creepiness.

The other kids apparently would ask her to play while they wouldn't let the older one play...

There are many other petty school incidents I left out the post would have been longer if I wrote more stuff in.

We had an ugly incident with their grandmas neighbors 3 kids. The neighbors who were fortunately renting were given notice to vacate by the owner who is a long time friend of their grandma's. I won't get into it but it was creepy enough to warrant them moving, their mom looked kinda embarrassed but never once said sorry. (It wasn't sexual).

These kids were also older. They pretended to be her friend to get her to come over to their house. Lucky granny was outside but they couldn't see her and she heard their whole conversation.
 
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Rhapscallion Démone

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So the teacher actually did keep an eye on her coz she recently caught some older girls (not the same group) one girl was like 14/15 and they were trying to talk my daughter into a "cool hair cut".
What were the repercussions because 14 and 15 is too damn old.
 

Yo Mama

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What were the repercussions because 14 and 15 is too damn old.

I asked her (teacher) not to make a big deal. And ask the principal to handle it. They said sorry they wouldn't do it again, just a joke... bla bla.
Just said I blamed them (school) coz the kindergarten classes, primary/middle and highschool students shouldn't mix at all.

My kids started hanging out with the "popular" high schoolers, especially one boy who all the girls apparently love. They didn't have further issues. I only knew coz my kids told my younger sis who told me. But why would a teenage boy want to hang out with 3 and 5 year olds. I told the teacher and asked her to keep them in class. I greeted the boy and he was nice and polite, but still a teen boy... When the hair stylists tried to cut her hair another girl went and told the teen boy and he put a stop to it and told the teacher.


And with covid the diff classes/ages don't mix at all now.

Its all wierd and creepy. I am afraid for her,but I also don't want to give her a complex because of my paranoia.
 
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Rhapscallion Démone

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I asked her (teacher) not to make a big deal. And ask the principal to handle it. They said sorry they wouldn't do it again, just a joke... bla bla.
Just said I blamed them (school) coz the kindergarten classes, primary/middle and highschool students shouldn't mix at all.

My kids started hanging out with the "popular" high schoolers, especially one boy who all the girls apparently love. They didn't have further issues. I only knew coz my kids told my younger sis who told me. But why would a teenage boy want to hang out with 3 and 5 year olds. I told the teacher and asked her to keep them in class. I greeted the boy and he was nice and polite, but still a teen boy... When the hair stylists tried to cut her hair another girl went and told the teen boy and he put a stop to it and told the teacher.


And with covid the diff classes/ages don't mix at all now.

Its all wierd and creepy. I am afraid for her,but I also don't want to give her a complex because of my paranoia.
The "hair stylist" should have gotten suspended for harassing a kindergartner lol. That "it won't happen again" response would not have been good enough for me personally. I'm glad everything worked itself out for baby girl tho.
 

Yo Mama

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The "hair stylist" should have gotten suspended for harassing a kindergartner lol. That "it won't happen again" response would not have been good enough for me personally. I'm glad everything worked itself out for baby girl tho.

Corona hit. I pulled my kids out of school the moment I saw the story breaking. By the time schools officially closed I had pulled them out.

So I didn't follow up to see if the school had punished them beyond their saying sorry. I doubt the grades will be mixing anytime soon...

I also kinda fear her being ostracized if I confronted every kid/parent. How do I protect her but keep balance?
 

Rhapscallion Démone

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I also kinda fear her being ostracized if I confronted every kid/parent. How do I protect her but keep balance?
Your child's well being is just as important as theirs so if she gets ostracized for her mom protecting her peace then oh well. Just proves she ain't need to be around them anyway.
 

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Do you any nieces or nephews or cousins that are 14/15?
 

YoungSimpson

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Whole thing is kind of weird. Those younger kids definitely don't need to be with the older kids. The 3-5 year old girls hanging with a high school boy is ever weirder. Yeah you need to let the school know where you stand on the kids mixing the age ranges. People are crazy and jealous so don't disregard your feeling's about shyt, those are your instincts trust them. Seems like you're being overly nice which is why they aren't taking it seriously. That's your daughter she can't stick up for herself, don't let her down.
 
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