Intimacy Intervention: My husband uses racial slurs during sex

[KingDanz]

Intimacy Intervention: My Husband Uses Racial Slurs During Sex | Essence.com

Dear Abiola,

My man keeps calling me a “****** bytch” during sex and I hate it.

I have been married for a year and I am at my wit’s end. My investment banker husband is from a White old money family. I am a first generation Black-American woman whose family is from the island of Jamaica. We met at a reunion for the ivy league school we both attended, and he proposed in six months.

We have the picture perfect fantasy life. He wines and dines me and we travel and shop the globe. Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate. He courted me and I never have to pay for anything. He said I could quit my job and I did. He makes me feel like a woman.

I am a little embarrassed to share our problem. The first time he let the n-word drop was during sex on our honeymoon. When I reacted negatively, he explained that a Black woman he dated in the past enjoyed being called racial slurs. Another time he joked that he had purchased my freedom. He also speculated about whether his family could have owned mine because I have “good hair.” Then he made jokes about my pubic hair. He called it my “negro bush” and referred to himself as a “****** lover.” He says I am being overly sensitive because he loves me to death and should get a “Black pass” for marrying me.

I told him that I don’t appreciate these comments and he says that my friends and family probably use the n-word all the time. He also asked why Black people can use the word and he cannot. I don’t use the word or believe in the nikka/****** differentiation. Neither does my family. I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about this because I know they might say: “That’s what she gets for marrying a White man.”

Every time we try having sex again, the slurs fly. Our sex life is pretty much over right now because I pretend to be asleep every time my sexy, handsome man wants to be with me. I feel completely turned off. I love my husband deeply so please don’t tell me to leave him because that’s not what I want to do.

My husband was my first interracial relationship. Please tell me racial slurs aren’t normal between interracial couples? I would like to figure this out before we have kids but I can’t afford to leave him and still maintain my lifestyle.

How can I regain my sexual attraction for my husband?

Signed,

Black and Proud

Who on the coli wrote this article....

 

[Lavish]

@Anothergirl

 

[MBwithadream]

 

[marcuz]

more common than you think.

 

[So-Chi]

at "purchased my freedom"

 

[call_me_step_daddy]

if i was a white man * shivers at the thought* that had bread i'd dog the shyt out of a black chick too..cuz i'd assume that she's only fukkin wit me becuz im a paid cac..

so i that cac for treating that bytch like the whore she is

 

[LezJepzin]

Only a matter of time before there was going to be a thread about this

 

[Vilified not verified]

Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate. He courted me and I never have to pay for anything. He said I could quit my job and I did. He makes me feel like a woman.

Let that sheboon suffer.

 

[No_bammer_weed]

The coli koons n kaks can let this broad have it for all I care. That paragraph was despicable. Notice how she couldnt resist shtting on black men, even tho the subject is about the mentally abusive ways of her white husband. This culture we have where people place money above their own humanity, and others, is just disgusting.

 

[ugksam]

thats black women for ya, no idea how to keep their men happy.

 

[Jamal514]

I love when racist shyt happens to c00ns.

 

[Ohnoits]

Let that sheboon suffer.

lol I didn't even read that far in but this is not surprising she would be she's a self hater and a race traitor forget her

 

[concise]

2 threads on the same article posted at the same time. Must be some kind of record.

http://www.the-coli.com/locker-room...7-hubby-calls-me-n-gger-bed.html#.UWMkVZxPksc

 

[Ain't That Something]

Stop caring bout her trials after this!

Unlike all of the Black men I dated in the past, my husband is generous, loyal, committed and considerate

@Anothergirl explain yourself

 

[marcuz]

2 threads on the same article posted at the same time. Must be some kind of record.

http://www.the-coli.com/locker-room...7-hubby-calls-me-n-gger-bed.html#.UWMkVZxPksc

there's a 3rd one already lingering in race track