This is what I think about this episode:
Ok so I'm back half sober and half full of wings and I saw some titties... fun times. What's not fun is that before I saw this episode I read through this thread and I hope it's not as bad as my TSC brehs make it out to be... then again this is TNA, ok lets do this. Highlights of "The James Storm Redemption Story" and Austin Aries's Decision, hopefully this decision won't take all day like LeBron James' Decision. So apparently this episode is an Open Fight Night episode as well, once again I call out Miss Tessmacher to let me get at dem panty drawers! Hoke Hogan swaggin' out to the ring to talk about Sting getting jumped by the Crips... or Bloods... or whomever those goons were that jumped Sting last week.
Oh snap Hogan calls out The Greatest Man That Ever Lived and he comes out. It's amazing how tremendously well Austin's slow heel to babyface turn was successful, it shows it still can be done correctly. So Aries says screw Option A and fukk Option B so he picks Option C: he vacates the X-Division Title to get the shot at Roode at Destination X... but now the X-Division Title is now the #1 Contender title that can be vacated for a guarenteed shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Title. Bauce Roode is offended by this decision and wanna be starting something. Aries remembers this is Open Fight Night and challenges Roode to a brawl... oh snap D'Lo is out to regulate and break things up... what the hell why is Mr. Anderson comming out? Nobody called out Mr. Glass nor does anyone wants him to be out... damn it he just ruined a great segment.
For once TNA shows a chart of how the point system goes: 10-submission, 7-pinfall, 5-countout, 3-DQ win, 2-Draw, amd -10-DQ loss and every BFG Series Match has a 10 minute time limit. It would make sense for EVERYONE to go for submission victories but as we learned that wrestlers are not smart. So Anderson Anderson stayed his ass out for a match and he calls out Daniels for what he did to Dixie, damn Daniels is swaggin' out with an Appletini not giving a fukk. Why Anderson cares about AJ and Daniels I have no clue expecially since he's an a$$hole that doesn't care about anyone but himself. Joseph Park is ONCE AGAIN in the audience so that storyline must continue on. Damn Anderson gets the pinfall win for 7 points and a lot of Daniel's momentum has now gone away. Damn I see some hoes in the front row.
AJ crying backstage to Dixie like this is an episode of One Tree Hill. In a room full of TNA Knockouts looking all lucious Madam Brooke Hogan walks in trying to determine who's getting the shot at the title against Miss Assmacher. Damn she's doing the same shyt her daddy did weeks ago with dramatic music playing in the background... here we go. Damn I see the seeds of a heel turn for Thickie Mickie... the return of Psycho Lesbian Mickie is my dream. Queen Maddie just got eliminated because of her lust of her secret lover's dikk, a slut shaming. Robbie E I'll admit has grown on me over the past year and he just called out anyone from the backstage.... and King Kurtis Angle just accepted the challenge. Kurt accepted this match knowing this would be a easy 10 points.... 2 minutes later Kurt makes Robbie tap with his ankle lock, well damn back to the Jersey Shore with you.
So time for the 3rd installment of TNA's Gut Check... and this time it's a woman? Taeler Hendrix is who's comeptiting for a TNA contract... damn she used to have cancer? She's trying to get those sympathy votes on Twitter. Swagnus comes out bossin' up and calls out Playboy AJ Styles, hopefully he's cried all of his tears so he can compete at 100%. Magnus showing everyone why he and Samoa Joe should have remained tag team champions for a few more months, hopefully Magnus will defeat Devon for the Televion Title soon. Daniels and Kaz comes out with more Kodak film to destract AJ for Magnus to get the 7 point pinfall.
Jeremy Borash in the ring... where the hell is Christie Hemme... to announce Taeler Hendrix dressed like a low budget X-Men character to face Tara. Taz is talking nonsense on commentary right now... fukk you Taz. Taeler just used Trish Stratus's muddle rope hurricarana... Vintage Trish! Joseph Park is being escorted from the audience hopefull to the parking lot. Tara hit her Widow's Peak for the win, in my opinion she don't deserve a contract which means TNA is gonna give her a contact... fukk This Company Everyweek! Bully Ray backstage punking out Joseph yet again telling him he's gonna whip his ass the next time he sees Joseph in the audience or his punk ass brother Abyss.
Samoa Joe comes out hopefully to NOT GET DQ IN THIS TOURNAMENT LIKE LAST YEAR! Joe challenges James Storm and calls out him "losing his smile", personally I would have asked if James had any "Sunny Days" but I guess that's a little too much. Other than Angle, Joe's the only smart one that's going for nothing but a submission victory for the most points. Joe going for a Rear Naked Choke but ends up getting a Last Call Superkick for the 7 point pinfall victory, James' road to Bound For Glory continues. Backstage AJ Styles once again bytching and crying about the secret with Dixie... please man the fukk up Styles! Madamn Brooke is STILL eliminating people... jesus christ just pick someone! So apparently she eliminates ODB, oh my god how long is this show?
Bully Ray comes out calling himself "the most hated bully in the world" to which I gotta say Biff Tannen will disagrees. Bully Ray calls out Hollywood Pope for an old fashion Gotham City beatdown. Is Pope a good guy again I really don't know anymore, the last time we all saw Pope he was trying to abduct Devon's kids... he share dem kids. So Abyss is back, why does he have beef with Bully Ray since he told everyone he don't care for his brother Joseph. Pope gets the 7 point pinfall with Abyss destraction, I hope the majority of this tournament have interference victories. Backstage Hoke Hogan telling Based Hardy and RVD since noone called them out they will fight each other later tonight.
So they are showing the Montgomery Gentry music video with Sweet p*ssy Velvet Sky with no make-up on as the video vixen, could have used Cubana Lust in the video as well but I digress. Good lawd a pan up of Christie Hemme as she calls up Miss Apple Bottom Brooke Tessmacher. Madam Brooke backstage picks... Thickie Mickie to get the shot right now. God bless the cameramen of TNA who are inductees in the TSC Hall of Fame. Tessmacher actually showing off a lot of skills, she has improved over the past couple of months. Tessmacher counters Mickie's jumping ddt for a roll-up pinfall, my baby wins! Mickie in the ring mad and cussing.
There is only one match left and I just realized that Devon didn't have a match tonight so already they they broke their stipulations of the Television Champion MUST defend his title every Impact. So now the main event... damn fells like I've watched 2 Impacts worth of matches in one night and we still got another segment to go. RVD vs Jeff Hardy, seems like yesterday since we first seen these two fought each other for the first time in that Hardcore Match at the WWE Invasion ppv. This is a good back and forth match, Jeff just missed with a Swanton only for RVD to... did RVD just did a 450 splash? Damn that was a nasty Twist of Fate... more like a Twist of Hate for the 7 point pinfall victory.
So AJ Styles and Dixie coming to the ring to explain all of the ether Daniels and Kaz has been hitting them with. Dixie Carter is a worst actor since Julia Stiles when she was killing with Dexter Morgan on Showtime. Styles trying to punk out at the last minute... wait who the hell is this strange chick coming to the ring? So her name is Clair Lynch... and she's a pregnant drug addict that Styles and Dixie was helping out... wait what?! (as The Miz) Really... Really... REALLY.... REALLY?!?! Damn it TNA you ruined this storyline, the crowd is rightfully booing all of them. Really all of this build-up could have made AJ Styles a godly heel but they took the easy way out it's bullshyt! So no more Serge Carter unleashing dem untaped fists anymore?! I'm done.
at the girl's acting.
" They were talking about not letting the girl's family know about her situation on national television.
