Impact! 6/7/12 - Is Aj whistlin Dixie?, Brooke brings in new viewers, Stink Sucks..

Swiggy

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"That's a real painful move there."

Taz don't even want it with the Benoit references :pachaha:

Ass Jacker Styles hittin the ring! :krs:
 

Swiggy

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I ain't mad at that. Business decision :win:

We know who goin over when it matters :birdman:
 

Singh

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I ride with Sting but I doubt he can hang with Bobby Roooooo @ the PPV

I saw how Sting got it in with Fat Samoa Joe and shyt was not koo
 

Shadow

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-Serge hitting AJ with that back, forward, right punch.

-Aries/Joe at the ppv, :win:

-Madison about to be Robbie's new cookie.

-Mickie about to heel it up.

-Joe Ryan trying to make an impact.

Actual thought being put into more than one storyline/feud, :ahh: feels so good.
 

DaylitoJames

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This is what I think about this episode:

What's good... Raw sucked this week so automatically Impact >> Raw... who the hell is doing this movie trailer sounding voice over? Slammiversary is a week away... it don't feel like it to me, am I the only one. Highlights of Dixie Carter wilding out telling Daniels that he's finished.... HAHA like getting fired from TNA is some big punishment. Damn Dixie is screaming at everyone like someone dranked her Bloody Mary... damn Dixie dropping F-bombs. Now she's in the ring and she's fake crying like the bad acting of Sofie Coppola on Godfather 3. Damn the crowd instantly turning on Dixie, she don't understand that slores don't receive symphany for any reason. Aw Snap here comes C-Daniels and Kazzy Kaz, Daniels about to start the new wrestling stable: "The Hard On Hoes Movement".


Damn Dixie putting hands on Daniels... now Daniels putting hands on Dixie, seriously how many TNA wrestlers put their hands on Dixie and nothing happened: Abyss, Roode, Hoegan, Bischoff, now Daniels... here comes loverboy AJ Styles for the save. OH shyt SERGE CARTER IS THERE AND PUTTING HANDS ON AJ STYLES! That's what happens to you Styles when you play Captain Save-A-Hoe. If I have to judge by the crowd reaction: Kaz and Daniels are the good guys, AJ Styles is a simp, Serge shares that girl, and Dixie is the new "Lita" back when everyone found out that she was banging Edge while dating Matt Hardy which began Matt's legendary string of L's in his life. I swear other than WWE's AJ being a psycho temptess this is the best storyline in wrestling right now which is kinda sad when you think about it.


Sweetie Christie announcing the horribly undefeated Crimson whith his old theme song, I kinda missed his theme when he was tag teaming. Damn Samoa Joe trying to boss'up to Austin Aries backstage but A-Double ain't having that. The Greatest Man In The World gonna try and end this bullshyt fabricated winning streak. Damn Aries is carrying Crimson through a good match. Damn it as usual when TNA has a good match someone has to interfere... Samoa Joe's big ass had to interfere to lead to a win for Crimson. Crimson is undefeated like Samoa Joe is undefeated against buffet bars... oh shyt did Crimson just name drop Goldberg and said that he's better than him? So Crimson is issuing an open challenge match at Slammiversary? Something tells me this is gonna end up like when the Honk Tonk Man put his 17 month Intercontinental Title streak on the line in a open challenge and lost to the Ultimate Warrior in seconds... lets see if history repeats itself.


Brooke Hogan introducing herself to the knockouts as the new Madam taking the spot of Madam Karen Angle. She just booked her bottom bytch Velvet Sky in a music video with Montgomery Gentry... Brooke's hoes gonna make her some money, I know we all would pay a pretty penny for a night with Christie Hemme. Boss Hogan comming out swagging it up like a legend only knows how. Hogan talking about partying, hopefully with hoes and bottles poppin', wait Hogan said that the TNA Heavyweight Title will be defended next week on Impact? Why does the TNA Champion constantly have to defend his belt, what happened to the 30-Day rule? Now Bauce Roode is out mad as hell as he should be, he damn near defended his belt more than the Television Champion. Roode calling Hogan out on his biased bullshyt... oh no here comes Hogan's goon Joker Sting. Roode is getting shown no respect as a champion... again how is Roode not a babyface?


Damn Joesph Park... you know Unmasked Abyss... is back backstage talking about him getting a beatdown come Slammiversary. LAWD LAWD LAWD THE PAN-UP ON CHRISTIE AS SHE ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE ALL OF THIS p*ssy THAT'S ABOUT TO COME OUT! Thickie Mickie, Sweet p*ssy Velvet, Brooke Assmacher and Milf Tara all competing all in a Fatal 4 Way for a shot at Gail Kim Ishii for the Knockouts Title at Slammiversary. I can't decide who I want to win, I'mm a just put my dikk in my hands full of lotion and whoever is on the screen when I nut will be the winner with me... that's how I watch knockouts matches. Gail Kim on stage taunting the women like she runs the place, now she's on the announcer's booth with Mike Tenay and Taz simping all over her. Oh shyt Tessmacher bucking up to Tara... student vs teacher and of course the teacher will always prevail. Damn this match is pretty damn good. Wow Tessmacher hit Mickie with her elevated face buster for the win... wow Tessmacher wins and gets the title shot.


Bully Ray backstage talking about they are gonna have a contract signing... yarn.... and he has some special stipulations in the contract.... yarn! Hogan telling on the phone AJ Styles to get his p*ssy-getting ass back to the arena and fukk Dixie AFTER the show... SONOFAbytch! Jeremy Borash in the ring with a table about to narrate a contract signing between a man who needs to be in the WWE and alternate costume Maaskless Abyss aka Joseph Park. Bully Ray's new shirt is awesome, might have to buy that with one of those brown bag specials before Da Gawd Don West leaves TNA for good. Bully has a Brock Lesnar-type contract that says he can't get in trouble for anything he does to Joesph at Slanniversary... and Joseph wisely doesn't signs. Damn Bully disrespecting Joseph and got his feathers all ruffled up and he foolishly signs the contract. Wait... Abyss on the Dixietron?! Abyss telling Joseph he's a damn fool getting into trouble and he's not gonna help him, and he got Bully Ray shooked saying that he's comming to Slanniversary. It would be awesome if Joseph Park and Abyss are really two different people... would be a good swerve.


Devon backstage getting ready, scrub ass Garrett Bischoff asking Devon if he can be with him at ringside to watch his back... yarn. Highlights of TNA's 10 year history and the newly created TNA Hall of Fame.... damn I forgot Ken Shamrock was TNA's first heavyweight champion. Mike Tenay asking Taz about being punked out in the ring by Joey Ryan, Taz talking gibberish to me right now. They are showing backstage footage of Joey Ryan last week shooting and telling the truth about Taz and the other judges. Lucious Chrristie announcing The Cardigan Sweater Robbies getting their 78th Television Title shot against Devon featuring Garrett. Why is Garrett teaming with Devon... is Anderson and Jeff Hardy and The Pope and 45% of the TNA roster busy? Oh snap Madison Rayne out on stage putting on some bubble gum flavor lip gloss eye fukking someone at ringside... I'll be pissed if Queen Maddie giving that p*ssy to Garrett because he don't deserve it! I'm sick of all of this... Devon wins... fukkery ensues... I'm done with this storyline.


Damn Hoke Hogan back in the ring... damn he does have a ill shirt, might have to brown bag that too. Damn now Anderson Anderson disrespecting Hoegan not letting him finish his announcement. Anderson is being annoying... but somehow way less annoying than Cena so that's an accomplishment. Damn now Hoegan is calling his weed smoking partner RVD down to the ring, now he's calling down Based Hardy to the ring... what the hell is going on? I'm assuming that Hoegan is gonna book these three in a Triple Threat Match at Slammiversary for the title shot next week... let's see if I'm right. Damn Hoegan losing his voice from screaming at Styles' adultering ass. Yep I was right a three way match... this is why once again I say I should be the TSC General Manager.... TSC POWER!


Now it's time for the main event featuring Cheaters employees Daniels and Kaz teaming with Da Bauce Robert Rooooooo (Botchamania) vs The American Bald Eagle Kurt Angle, TNA Hall of Fame Ballot Nominee Sting and "Mr. Steal Your Girl" AJ Styles... wait AJ isn't coming out, he probably smashing Dixie at a Ramada Inn. So it's a 2 vs 3 Handicapped Match. Mintues later and after a heel beatdown... so AJ FINALLY decided to show up for the match, must got through being balls deep in cryin' Dixie (stealing Cryin' Zeke's gimmick) OH NO... SCORPION DEATH LOCK ON ROODE... HE TAPS OUT AGAIN! DAMNIT! All these loses to Sting better mean that Roode is retaining the belt this sunday. TNA you better keep Roode as your champion because he is your meal ticket... hell induct him in your hall of fame. Whatever, see ya next week TSC.
 
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