IMPACT 10/25 - Championship Thursday! Nero vs Hogan's pick, RVD vs Ion, Tara vs Tess
- Thread starter Ill Lou Malnati
- Start date
This is what I think about this episode:
Ok after last week's Impact and last week's two lumberjack matches in the WWE I am pretty much done with wrestling brawls for a while... seriouly guys write new material. Highlights of Devon getting patched in the Sons of Anarchy, and tonight is Championship Thursday meaning Hoegan figuring out for 2 hours who's getting a shot despite the fact he had since last Thursday to make a choice... a'ight lets deal with this. Backstage in Hoegan's office Jeff Hardy for some reason has two damn belts like he's the original Undisputed Champion... seriously why does he have two belts? Hold the fukk on... is Jeff having an inner monoluge about the other wrestlers in his head and we are able to hear him... what kinda fukkery is this? next thing you know Jeff will be the only one that can see the Ultimate Warrior in the mirror, remember that shyt brehs? Forget about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this October has been Pure fukkery Month in the TSC thanks to WWE and TNA programing.
Good Lawd I can see Christie's nipples through her shirt... wait we got two sets of announcers now? I ain't complaining since that means an hour less of Taz's corny ass but this is just another concept stolen from WCW. Time for a rematch for the X-Division Championship between Rob Van Dam vs Zema Ion. Damn at RVD still being very over with the crowd, at least the Impact crowd don't think that Rob is flabby and sick. FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH... Rob Van Dam is (as Daniel Bryan) "THE WINNER! THE WINNER! THE WINNER!" Matt Morgan out of nowhere hits Van Dam with the Goon Boot reminding Rob what happens when he don't pay his Direct Auto Insurance payments on time. Looks like RVD vs Joey Ryan for the X-Division will be the next fued leading to the next ppv and I have no problems with that. This new announcing team of Borash and Todd I enjoy, reminds me of the old days of when announcers just commentated on the match and not try to get their own gimmicks over.
The Greatest Man That Ever Lived spying outside Hoegan's office reminding us that he has an automatch rematch clause for the TNA title, and I agree that Thunder In Paradise was an underrated show cause it had fine ass Kiki Shephard on it (yall remember her brehs?) Damn Aries decides he gonna be a troll on the outside when the wrestlers get eliminated, why not? Comic Super Villains Christopher Daniels and Franklyn Kazarian (I'm glad that they are still a team) comes out stealing promo lines from Chris Jericho... what's up with all of the Hogan movies and tv show references? Damn Kaz using racial slurs calling Chavo and Hernandez "illegal aliens"... damn now we got a "Surburbian Commando" reference, seriously is Spike gonna start showing Hogan movies after Impact is over? (they are dumb if they don't) Damn Daniels telling the truth about Dixie desperate for a latino audience. Out comes Chavo and Hernandez acting like sterertypical latin goons trying to start a brawl but Kaz and Daniels escape.
Backstage in Hoegan's Office, Boss Hoegan taking his sweet time as usual picking someone to eliminate and making the wrestlers fight amongst each other. Damn Anderson is shooting and telling the truth and cause he told the truth he got eliminated. Now Aries is trolling Anderson just for the fukk of it and now Aries is shooting on Anderson... now they are brawling (I thought I asked for no brawls this episode)... damn did Anderson hit Aries with a cardboard picture and he sold it like a Three Stooges scene? Hold the fukk up... did we just hear the director scream "CUT!" and we just saw an earlier scene from Hoegan and Jeff Hardy... did I just see that with my eyes? fukk This Company... EVERYWEEK, next thing you know we gonna see Kane get tapped by the director with a newspaper while Eve just casually walks into an ambulance... who the fukk has been editing these wreslting shows this year?!
Backstage Devon and other members of the Aces and Eights have a meeting, according to Devon the other members of the crew are NOT ALLOWED to take off their mask in public. Damn Devon got soem hoes for the boys but before the fukking and orgies can begin someone gotta take a beatdown tonight. Just like how WWE and TNA writers write their scripts, the Aces and Eights' Vice President just throws a dart on the wall to pick their victim for the night. Back in the ring the Television Champion Samoa Joe fights Rob Terry of the Cardigan Robbies. Damn Joe damn near breaks Rob's back jumping on him for the Real Naked Choke but Rob slams back on the mat to counter it... nope Joe snaps the clutch back on for the win. Samoa Joe needs better opponents, maybe put him back in the TNA Heavyweight Title pucture in 2013.
Highlights of former lesbian lovers Tara and Tessmacher scrapping at Bound For Glory, Tara wins the belt and then showed everyone that Tara was getting dikked down behind Tessmacher's back. Back in Hoegan's Office... goddamn please make this end... the other wrestlers trying to convince Hoegan that Bully Ray is too focused on Devon to get a title shot and Hoegan eliminates Bully because of it. Elsewhere Anderson acting like a jackass, honestly I don't have a problem with Anderson like most of the TSC does but he acts more like a jackass than an a$$hole which is the problem I have with him. Now it's time for Mr. Anderson vs Austin Aries... a Grudge Match? So Anderson gonna take out brass knucks IN FRONT OF THE DAMN REFEREE?! JACKASS and the crowd lets him know it. A ref bump and Areies takes the brass knucks out the ref's pocket but Anderson takes the knocks but the ref AGAIN catches Anderson with the knucks. Now Aries has a second pair of knucks and knocks Anderson out behind the referee's back like a great wrestler does properly. Last Chanery... Aries Wins! A-Double shows how proper villains are supposed to act.
Backstage Madam Hoegan acting like a snoody bytch to Tara and her no-name star boyfriend, I wonder if Brooke is mad at her dad for having her song being a ring tone in a sex tape? Taz and Tenay are the official announcers now so the programing automatically loses some interest... seriously Borash and Todd were great announcing. Goddamn Christie's thights needs my face and penis between them, time for the return Knockouts Championship match between MILF Tara vs Brooke Assmacher. Off topic but what happened to Queen Madison Rayne, haven't seen her in a cople of weeks along with Thickie Mickie James, Sarita and Rosita. Tara's boyfriend being hard on hoes as he interfers... a Widow's Peak victory for Tara. Damn Tara is in full freak mode, thsee two are probably fukking in real life. Speaking of freak mode I hear Brooke Hogan's ringtone and here comes Madam Brooke to act snoody again saying that ODB will call out Tara's boyfriend Jesse next week on Open Fight Night... hopefully Crazy Eric Young Makes a return as well.
Backstage Joseph Park goes in Hoegan's office wanting Hoegan to approve a match between Joseph against a member of Aces and Eights. Hoegan is scarred of a lawsuit if this match happens, but Joseph goes into lawyer mode and pulls out a paper that says that Hoegan, TNA, Dixie and Spike TV won't get sued if Joseph gets hurt... what happened to the "Where's My Brother... YOu Know Abyss?" storyline and did that get solved? In the ring Bully Ray giving a hell of a babyface promo challenging Devon for next week on Open Fight Night Impact, that's gonna put butts in seats... serioulsy it may. Bully calling out Devon now for an explaination and here comes Aces and Eights out of their own entrance... was that appart of the "Full Access" deal? Devon disowns Bully and gives no explaination other than this angle is all about Hoegan (typical it's always about Hoegan).
Damn Devon saying that all of that "WE LOVE DEVON!" promos Hoegan and Dixie was saying in the past weeks was bullshyt cause it really didn't happen... I kinda believe that. Damn Bully still salty about Chris Sabin kicking out of the Dudley Death Drop, apparently he's the only one that done so... wow Bully said "ECW" and "WWE"... those lawsuits are gonna come soon. Damn so 2 years ago after Team 3D's last match Devon told Bully Ray "Screw the fans, we're rich" and that's why Bully turned against Devon and his punk ass kids... but at the time we thought Bully was being a villain heel but actually he was being a babyface, this is on some Jigsaw Killer hidden backstory reveal we just witnessed. Bully Ray is now officially a babyface... Friendly Ray we should call him... nah.
Backstage Joey Ryan cutting a promo, meanwhile Matt Morgan acting like a 80's heel wanting to destroy Hulkamania because of Hoegan's lies... after Devon's promo you think Dixie outta do something about the trouble that's happening in TNA because of Hoegan's mouth but that bytch will do nothing as usual. So next week's GutCheck will feature Christian York... wait Christian York? I remember Christian York back in ECW, and apparently Christian was already in TNA back in the first year of TNA... why is he auditioning in GutCheck like a green rookie unless they are planning on having a GutCheck contestant win a match for once. Backstage James Storm mad as hell for putting on his wrestling gear for nothing since Hoegan picked Angle to get the title shot... why Hoegan call Angle "Cyborg", is he secretely saying that Kurt is on steroids and needs help?
The main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between Kurt Andgle and current champion Jeff Hardy, this isn't the first time these two men fought, in fact every time these two men fight it's always 4 Star matches they produece, they work trememdouly well together back in the WWF and now in TNA. Damn both men are kicking out of Swanton Bombs, Angle Slams, Ankle Locks, Twist of Fates and other signature moves and the crowd love it. Damn Kurt is spitting out blood, cyborgs don't bleed unless they are made by Dr. Gero of the Red Ribbon Army. Angle goes for another Angle Slam but Jeff counters into a Sunset Flip for a victory... a hell of a match. TNA showing "Top Notch" production work again by having Austin Aries knocking out Hardy OFF CAMERA and then takes one of Hardy's championship belts... why does Jeff have two belts again? I assuming the Hardy/Aries rematch is gonna be a Ladder Match on some HBK/Razor Ramon two title belts type of ish. Meanwhile Aces and Eights puts the beatdown on Angle backstage when Wes Brisco makes the save... something is not right about that as the show ends. I'll holla!
Ok after last week's Impact and last week's two lumberjack matches in the WWE I am pretty much done with wrestling brawls for a while... seriouly guys write new material. Highlights of Devon getting patched in the Sons of Anarchy, and tonight is Championship Thursday meaning Hoegan figuring out for 2 hours who's getting a shot despite the fact he had since last Thursday to make a choice... a'ight lets deal with this. Backstage in Hoegan's office Jeff Hardy for some reason has two damn belts like he's the original Undisputed Champion... seriously why does he have two belts? Hold the fukk on... is Jeff having an inner monoluge about the other wrestlers in his head and we are able to hear him... what kinda fukkery is this? next thing you know Jeff will be the only one that can see the Ultimate Warrior in the mirror, remember that shyt brehs? Forget about Breast Cancer Awareness Month, this October has been Pure fukkery Month in the TSC thanks to WWE and TNA programing.
Good Lawd I can see Christie's nipples through her shirt... wait we got two sets of announcers now? I ain't complaining since that means an hour less of Taz's corny ass but this is just another concept stolen from WCW. Time for a rematch for the X-Division Championship between Rob Van Dam vs Zema Ion. Damn at RVD still being very over with the crowd, at least the Impact crowd don't think that Rob is flabby and sick. FIVE STAR FROG SPLASH... Rob Van Dam is (as Daniel Bryan) "THE WINNER! THE WINNER! THE WINNER!" Matt Morgan out of nowhere hits Van Dam with the Goon Boot reminding Rob what happens when he don't pay his Direct Auto Insurance payments on time. Looks like RVD vs Joey Ryan for the X-Division will be the next fued leading to the next ppv and I have no problems with that. This new announcing team of Borash and Todd I enjoy, reminds me of the old days of when announcers just commentated on the match and not try to get their own gimmicks over.
The Greatest Man That Ever Lived spying outside Hoegan's office reminding us that he has an automatch rematch clause for the TNA title, and I agree that Thunder In Paradise was an underrated show cause it had fine ass Kiki Shephard on it (yall remember her brehs?) Damn Aries decides he gonna be a troll on the outside when the wrestlers get eliminated, why not? Comic Super Villains Christopher Daniels and Franklyn Kazarian (I'm glad that they are still a team) comes out stealing promo lines from Chris Jericho... what's up with all of the Hogan movies and tv show references? Damn Kaz using racial slurs calling Chavo and Hernandez "illegal aliens"... damn now we got a "Surburbian Commando" reference, seriously is Spike gonna start showing Hogan movies after Impact is over? (they are dumb if they don't) Damn Daniels telling the truth about Dixie desperate for a latino audience. Out comes Chavo and Hernandez acting like sterertypical latin goons trying to start a brawl but Kaz and Daniels escape.
Backstage in Hoegan's Office, Boss Hoegan taking his sweet time as usual picking someone to eliminate and making the wrestlers fight amongst each other. Damn Anderson is shooting and telling the truth and cause he told the truth he got eliminated. Now Aries is trolling Anderson just for the fukk of it and now Aries is shooting on Anderson... now they are brawling (I thought I asked for no brawls this episode)... damn did Anderson hit Aries with a cardboard picture and he sold it like a Three Stooges scene? Hold the fukk up... did we just hear the director scream "CUT!" and we just saw an earlier scene from Hoegan and Jeff Hardy... did I just see that with my eyes? fukk This Company... EVERYWEEK, next thing you know we gonna see Kane get tapped by the director with a newspaper while Eve just casually walks into an ambulance... who the fukk has been editing these wreslting shows this year?!
Backstage Devon and other members of the Aces and Eights have a meeting, according to Devon the other members of the crew are NOT ALLOWED to take off their mask in public. Damn Devon got soem hoes for the boys but before the fukking and orgies can begin someone gotta take a beatdown tonight. Just like how WWE and TNA writers write their scripts, the Aces and Eights' Vice President just throws a dart on the wall to pick their victim for the night. Back in the ring the Television Champion Samoa Joe fights Rob Terry of the Cardigan Robbies. Damn Joe damn near breaks Rob's back jumping on him for the Real Naked Choke but Rob slams back on the mat to counter it... nope Joe snaps the clutch back on for the win. Samoa Joe needs better opponents, maybe put him back in the TNA Heavyweight Title pucture in 2013.
Highlights of former lesbian lovers Tara and Tessmacher scrapping at Bound For Glory, Tara wins the belt and then showed everyone that Tara was getting dikked down behind Tessmacher's back. Back in Hoegan's Office... goddamn please make this end... the other wrestlers trying to convince Hoegan that Bully Ray is too focused on Devon to get a title shot and Hoegan eliminates Bully because of it. Elsewhere Anderson acting like a jackass, honestly I don't have a problem with Anderson like most of the TSC does but he acts more like a jackass than an a$$hole which is the problem I have with him. Now it's time for Mr. Anderson vs Austin Aries... a Grudge Match? So Anderson gonna take out brass knucks IN FRONT OF THE DAMN REFEREE?! JACKASS and the crowd lets him know it. A ref bump and Areies takes the brass knucks out the ref's pocket but Anderson takes the knocks but the ref AGAIN catches Anderson with the knucks. Now Aries has a second pair of knucks and knocks Anderson out behind the referee's back like a great wrestler does properly. Last Chanery... Aries Wins! A-Double shows how proper villains are supposed to act.
Backstage Madam Hoegan acting like a snoody bytch to Tara and her no-name star boyfriend, I wonder if Brooke is mad at her dad for having her song being a ring tone in a sex tape? Taz and Tenay are the official announcers now so the programing automatically loses some interest... seriously Borash and Todd were great announcing. Goddamn Christie's thights needs my face and penis between them, time for the return Knockouts Championship match between MILF Tara vs Brooke Assmacher. Off topic but what happened to Queen Madison Rayne, haven't seen her in a cople of weeks along with Thickie Mickie James, Sarita and Rosita. Tara's boyfriend being hard on hoes as he interfers... a Widow's Peak victory for Tara. Damn Tara is in full freak mode, thsee two are probably fukking in real life. Speaking of freak mode I hear Brooke Hogan's ringtone and here comes Madam Brooke to act snoody again saying that ODB will call out Tara's boyfriend Jesse next week on Open Fight Night... hopefully Crazy Eric Young Makes a return as well.
Backstage Joseph Park goes in Hoegan's office wanting Hoegan to approve a match between Joseph against a member of Aces and Eights. Hoegan is scarred of a lawsuit if this match happens, but Joseph goes into lawyer mode and pulls out a paper that says that Hoegan, TNA, Dixie and Spike TV won't get sued if Joseph gets hurt... what happened to the "Where's My Brother... YOu Know Abyss?" storyline and did that get solved? In the ring Bully Ray giving a hell of a babyface promo challenging Devon for next week on Open Fight Night Impact, that's gonna put butts in seats... serioulsy it may. Bully calling out Devon now for an explaination and here comes Aces and Eights out of their own entrance... was that appart of the "Full Access" deal? Devon disowns Bully and gives no explaination other than this angle is all about Hoegan (typical it's always about Hoegan).
Damn Devon saying that all of that "WE LOVE DEVON!" promos Hoegan and Dixie was saying in the past weeks was bullshyt cause it really didn't happen... I kinda believe that. Damn Bully still salty about Chris Sabin kicking out of the Dudley Death Drop, apparently he's the only one that done so... wow Bully said "ECW" and "WWE"... those lawsuits are gonna come soon. Damn so 2 years ago after Team 3D's last match Devon told Bully Ray "Screw the fans, we're rich" and that's why Bully turned against Devon and his punk ass kids... but at the time we thought Bully was being a villain heel but actually he was being a babyface, this is on some Jigsaw Killer hidden backstory reveal we just witnessed. Bully Ray is now officially a babyface... Friendly Ray we should call him... nah.
Backstage Joey Ryan cutting a promo, meanwhile Matt Morgan acting like a 80's heel wanting to destroy Hulkamania because of Hoegan's lies... after Devon's promo you think Dixie outta do something about the trouble that's happening in TNA because of Hoegan's mouth but that bytch will do nothing as usual. So next week's GutCheck will feature Christian York... wait Christian York? I remember Christian York back in ECW, and apparently Christian was already in TNA back in the first year of TNA... why is he auditioning in GutCheck like a green rookie unless they are planning on having a GutCheck contestant win a match for once. Backstage James Storm mad as hell for putting on his wrestling gear for nothing since Hoegan picked Angle to get the title shot... why Hoegan call Angle "Cyborg", is he secretely saying that Kurt is on steroids and needs help?
The main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between Kurt Andgle and current champion Jeff Hardy, this isn't the first time these two men fought, in fact every time these two men fight it's always 4 Star matches they produece, they work trememdouly well together back in the WWF and now in TNA. Damn both men are kicking out of Swanton Bombs, Angle Slams, Ankle Locks, Twist of Fates and other signature moves and the crowd love it. Damn Kurt is spitting out blood, cyborgs don't bleed unless they are made by Dr. Gero of the Red Ribbon Army. Angle goes for another Angle Slam but Jeff counters into a Sunset Flip for a victory... a hell of a match. TNA showing "Top Notch" production work again by having Austin Aries knocking out Hardy OFF CAMERA and then takes one of Hardy's championship belts... why does Jeff have two belts again? I assuming the Hardy/Aries rematch is gonna be a Ladder Match on some HBK/Razor Ramon two title belts type of ish. Meanwhile Aces and Eights puts the beatdown on Angle backstage when Wes Brisco makes the save... something is not right about that as the show ends. I'll holla!
ThatKidBlackHippy
thekid
So Bully did all those heelish things cuz Devon was the heel the whole time? 
ThatKidBlackHippy
thekid
lol @ that ending to Aries vs Anderson tho 
Brad Piff
The Money & The Miles
- The October 25th episode of TNA's Impact Wrestling scored a 1.0 cable rating with 1,187,000 viewers, down 61,000 from last week.
congrats to tna for finally getting to that 1.0 promise land again
and im in such a good mood im not even gonna point out how they lost 61,000 viewers from last week..
congrats to tna for finally getting to that 1.0 promise land again