if a woman tells you she's been raped multiple times - not once, not twice, not 3 times but

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

One of my best friends was molested by her uncle and her grandfather jerked off in front of her.

she always seems to be with either sugar daddies or sketchy dudes. She just can’t seem to want anyone normal.

she also finds herself in weird situations all the time. Like some guy waking down the block jerking off in front of her or uber drivers telling her sex stories etc

it’s weird there seems to be people who can sense those who were victims and prey on them

like @Booksnrain said, it's more than that. It's also the fact that her self esteem and sense of self is skewed because of her past experiences now, and so she repeatedly puts herself in situations with bad folks, plus like you said, there are psychopaths that can sense a victim and they come out like wolves looking for prey

 

[old pig]

like @Booksnrain said, it's more than that. It's also the fact that her self esteem and sense of self is skewed because of her past experiences now, and so she repeatedly puts herself in situations with bad folks, plus like you said, there are psychopaths that can sense a victim and they come out like wolves looking for prey

ironically the girl said the exact same thing in her story...I’m wondering if you just skimmed thru it

I've regarded this situation as something I could've stepped away from which was why it took me years to accept as actual abuse. It lead to hyper sexuality, trauma, problem with my sex life and letting myself be abused because my self esteem was in the gutter.

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

This is a rough one. I believe what Books says is the truth in majority of cases.
Still. some there can be some "nuance"

Had a coworker/close friend of 10 years. She was in a mentally abusive relationship with a much older man. I was willing to be serious with her and leave my ex if she did the same. Never could bring herself to do so.

Forward 10 years later, she finally admits she was raped by family members and was unhappy with her dude. We're chilling and she asks (key word, asks) if I wanted to have sex with her. I was shocked , but I took her up on the offer. Only condidtions were: Either she finally leaves dude and we can be serious
( i was single now) or not tell dude and we'd be just messing around.

So what does she do? Rubs it in her man's face almost immediately. Then next day offers to UBER me over to come hit again. When i voiced my displeasure, the whole thing changed in her mind. All of a sudden , i was the one taking advantage of her. Although i was there for her when she admitted her rapes and I looked out for her when she was sick. We stop talking, then she hits me up on LinkedIN of all places and asked if I was seeking therapy for my issue. I ask her to clarify and she said what i did was basically rape. I was floored, cause I had to basically be talked into sexing her. She even contacted my exes on social media to tell them, in her words "I fukked her too hard". She can't quite use the R word with them, because she knows i kept all of our convos. Point being, in her messed up mind, I raped her, but shes smart enough to know that evidence points to otherwise.

I hate this story, but I do it to show that being previously raped does fukk up people's minds and can kill potential for real, loving interactions.

breh, that's terrible and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Although I caution you to say that the only reason folks do stuff like this is because they have gone through trauma in the past.

I'm not saying that isn't true, cause it can definitely happen

but just like there are male psychopaths out here, there are female psychopaths as well. And you will be thinking that women are so tender and such good hearted ppl to their core if "this or that hadn't happened to them"

but it ain't true. Im telling you from experience... that's not always true


I came to the conclusion a long time ago that when you see what you think is a "good woman" with a "no good man", more often than not, she ain't a "good woman"

she's just as trifling and lowdown as the dude she's with. That's why she's with him

It's a shame you had to go through that. Chic basically started gaslighting you and then falsely accused you

could have ruined your life if she took it farther than just past friends. smh

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

ironically the girl said the exact same thing in her story...I’m wondering if you just skimmed thru it

@Booksnrain actually broke it down and explained it and it made me see what girl in the story was saying. We literally covered this in this thread already. Are you paying attention?

 

[old pig]

@Booksnrain actually broke it down and explained it and it made me see what girl in the story was saying. We literally covered this in this thread already. Are you paying attention?

lol you clearly did not...you barely bothered to read the girl’s full account...she explained it concisely...clear as day...your “questions” throughout this thread make sense now...carry on

I've regarded this situation as something I could've stepped away from which was why it took me years to accept as actual abuse. It lead to hyper sexuality, trauma, problem with my sex life and letting myself be abused because my self esteem was in the gutter.

how much “breaking down” does this need lol?

but anyway...it’s ok not to know something...it’s the defensiveness that was baffling to me smh

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

lol you clearly did not...you barely bothered to read the girl’s full account...she explained it concisely...clear as day...your “questions” throughout this thread make sense now...carry on

breh, like I said before... I've talked to women that were actually raped and THEY weren't as sensitive as you seem to be on this topic

 

[old pig]

breh, like I said before... I've talked to women that were actually raped and THEY weren't as sensitive as you seem to be on this topic

...and like I’ve said before I’m not sensitive about the topic but annoyed by your wrong and “strong” attitude

Actually if you read her stories, she was never raped. She doesnt know what rape is obviously...

clearly you’re the one who doesn’t know what rape/statutory rape is by your own admission...now get back on defense lmao

 

[Ricky Dunigan]

breh, that's terrible and I'm sorry you had to go through that. Although I caution you to say that the only reason folks do stuff like this is because they have gone through trauma in the past.

I'm not saying that isn't true, cause it can definitely happen

but just like there are male psychopaths out here, there are female psychopaths as well. And you will be thinking that women are so tender and such good hearted ppl to their core if "this or that hadn't happened to them"

but it ain't true. Im telling you from experience... that's not always true


I came to the conclusion a long time ago that when you see what you think is a "good woman" with a "no good man", more often than not, she ain't a "good woman"

she's just as trifling and lowdown as the dude she's with. That's why she's with him

It's a shame you had to go through that. Chic basically started gaslighting you and then falsely accused you

could have ruined your life if she took it farther than just past friends. smh

Thanks breh. Even if I know the truth, you still can't quite get over even the sniff of a rape accusation. I sleep ok because I have proof on my side, but even then, its scary. Both exes stressed for me to never contact this girl again in any way (not that I would).

I don't think you need to be raped to become like her per se, but knowing her for 10 years... I'm sure it caused irreversible damage to her mind. The next cat will not be as lucky as I was is what i fear

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

Thanks breh. Even if I know the truth, you still can't quite get over even the sniff of a rape accusation. I sleep ok because I have proof on my side, but even then, its scary. Both exes stressed for me to never contact this girl again in any way (not that I would).

I don't think you need to be raped to become like her per se, but knowing her for 10 years... I'm sure it caused irreversible damage to her mind. The next cat will not be as lucky as I was is what i fear

I was ALMOST in this situation so I know how it feels, man. I think I told this story on here before. I used to do door to door sales and I was in a neighborhood where this girl I used to mess around with lived.

So I go to the door of this REALLY CUTE chic that I liked, and I'm tryna make a sale. Here comes ol girl that I used to mess with (her and her sister) and they go into the apt of the really cute chic.

Ol girl's sister comes out the house a few minutes later and tells me, "my sister is in there telling her (the REALLY CUTE chic that I liked) that you raped her"

I'm like


I called her out right then and there. right there on the SPOT and she started talking about how she was "just playing"


breh, these chics really think false rape stories are something that they can JOKE about. Man, it's sick.

If I hadn't been there to defend my name on the spot, then what would have happened?

And ironically, the REALLY CUTE chic that I liked got in touch with me last week for a job and she doesn't even seem to remember that

but for the past 7 or 8 yrs, every time I saw her in passing, I always felt paranoid like, "even though ol girl was lying on me, maybe she believes it's true" and I would feel kinda uncomfortable around her.

Cause man, that stuff can destroy your name! what if someone lies and says you raped her, and then you show that she's lying, the other person may believe the 1st story and not even pay attention to the retraction and then your life is ruined

I'm STILL mad about that

 

[Marti]

I love how men conveniently never place the blame on other men who are doing the raping in these types of threads .

 

[Neo. The Only. The One.]

I love how men conveniently never place the blame on other men who are doing the raping in these types of threads .

men who rape are evil. But that goes without saying to anybody that got a lick of sense, fool.

Obviously we ain't taking up for rapists in here. You're a stupid dumb fool to even come in here suggesting that.

 

[Ricky Dunigan]

I was ALMOST in this situation so I know how it feels, man. I think I told this story on here before. I used to do door to door sales and I was in a neighborhood where this girl I used to mess around with lived.

So I go to the door of this REALLY CUTE chic that I liked, and I'm tryna make a sale. Here comes ol girl that I used to mess with (her and her sister) and they go into the apt of the really cute chic.

Ol girl's sister comes out the house a few minutes later and tells me, "my sister is in there telling her (the REALLY CUTE chic that I liked) that you raped her"

I'm like


I called her out right then and there. right there on the SPOT and she started talking about how she was "just playing"


breh, these chics really think false rape stories are something that they can JOKE about. Man, it's sick.

If I hadn't been there to defend my name on the spot, then what would have happened?

And ironically, the REALLY CUTE chic that I liked got in touch with me last week for a job and she doesn't even seem to remember that

but for the past 7 or 8 yrs, every time I saw her in passing, I always felt paranoid like, "even though ol girl was lying on me, maybe she believes it's true" and I would feel kinda uncomfortable around her.

Cause man, that stuff can destroy your name! what if someone lies and says you raped her, and then you show that she's lying, the other person may believe the 1st story and not even pay attention to the retraction and then your life is ruined

I'm STILL mad about that

shyt breh, I'm sorry my dude. No one should ever have to deal with that.You handled it right by nipping that shyt in the bud.

 

[old pig]

men who rape are evil. But that goes without saying to anybody that got a lick of sense, fool.

Obviously we ain't taking up for rapists in here. You're a stupid dumb fool to even come in here suggesting that.

Actually if you read her stories, she was never raped. She doesnt know what rape is obviously...

 

[TripleAgent]

This is a rough one. I believe what @Booksnrain says is the truth in majority of cases.
Still. some there can be some "nuance"

Had a coworker/close friend of 10 years. She was in a mentally abusive relationship with a much older man. I was willing to be serious with her and leave my ex if she did the same. Never could bring herself to do so.

Forward 10 years later, she finally admits she was raped by family members and was unhappy with her dude. We're chilling and she asks (key word, asks) if I wanted to have sex with her. I was shocked , but I took her up on the offer. Only condidtions were: Either she finally leaves dude and we can be serious
( i was single now) or not tell dude and we'd be just messing around.

So what does she do? Rubs it in her man's face almost immediately. Then next day offers to UBER me over to come hit again. When i voiced my displeasure, the whole thing changed in her mind. All of a sudden , i was the one taking advantage of her. Although i was there for her when she admitted her rapes and I looked out for her when she was sick. We stop talking, then she hits me up on LinkedIN of all places and asked if I was seeking therapy for my issue. I ask her to clarify and she said what i did was basically rape. I was floored, cause I had to basically be talked into sexing her. She even contacted my exes on social media to tell them, in her words "I fukked her too hard". She can't quite use the R word with them, because she knows i kept all of our convos. Point being, in her messed up mind, I raped her, but shes smart enough to know that evidence points to otherwise.

I hate this story, but I do it to show that being previously raped does fukk up people's minds and can kill potential for real, loving interactions.

 

[Bigblackted4]

It's bad for me because the more pretty she is, my fear of her being molested or abused increases.

The biggest issue is whether to ask up front and seem judgemental, or risk getting serious and she starts unraveling and you are put in that moral dilemma.

Dating long term is extremely important before you commit.

I have a rule of dating for at least a year before any commitment.