Hey, man. I'ma be perfectly honest with you.
The last time I tried to kill myself, I took a bunch of prescrips and just laid out. I was 16.
I woke up sick as hell. Room smelled horrible. I had pissed and shytted all over the place. My room door was closed.
I tried to get out the bed and fell to my knees. I was sick as fukk. Weak. I threw up.
I opened the door and the fresh air hit me like
. I stumbled out to the hallway.
I glanced to the left at the kitchen and my mom and two older sisters were chilling there eating dinner like fukk it. Most normal thing in the world.
I collapsed a foot to the bathroom door and threw up again. Then I crawled in the door and cried like a bytch and stayed there.
When I cleaned myself up, I came out. My sisters were gone. My mom was sitting there at the kitchen table. My bedroom door was closed again.
My mom looked at me and all she said was "
you gone clean dat shyt up, right."
It was at that point that I realized that I had failed at everything. I couldn't even kill myself right.
While cleaning up, I saw something that bothered the fukk out of me. I had been laying there in that bed for three days. No fukks given by my family.
I say that to say this. If you feel like you've hit rock bottom, and you aint got shyt to live for.... even if you feel like all you got is posting on the internet.... live, breh. If the internet, this message board, some replies and your life is all you got.... live.
Cause you don't want to spend the rest of your life wondering if it worked and you just happened to wake up in an afterlife that's exactly like the one you died out of.