I went to a sex store under the influence today....

[maxamusa]

EDIT: DO NOT READ


I worked about half a day today.....had to do office work I've been been putting off and eventually gave up and said fukk it I'm out.


Went out for lunch and started throwing them back after burning 1

I was on an outdoor patio and there were a lot of PYTs out and started feeling like I gotta spice it up tonite....paid my tab and rode out to the sex store.

The place is big...it's like the size of a C-town.


I'm faded wandering around....I see some of those HD sex dolls are started fondling one checking the merchandise(lowkey that shyt is kinda dope)


I look up and a red headed staff PAWG is laughing at me and asked if I needed any help

I played it off real smooth and took her up on her offer.


She started giving me a grand tour showing me all sorts of things...I kept agreeing to everything she was suggesting to the point she needed to run back and grab a hand basket


Next thing I know we end up in the toy section and I told her how we lost the charger to the rabbit and need a replacement. She's showing off all the different vibrator models and telling me the science like I know or care.....


lowkey I'm starting to pick up on a a vybe or the drugs and drink are peaking....can't confirm either.


She's trying to sell me on a vibrator and I look at the price tag


she swears by it and I say hold up and FaceTime wifey who's at work(I'm not about to drop a c-note for a fumble.)

I flip the camera around and start asking her if she'd be into this......(my wife can't talk about sex....gets super embarrassed)


than the Staff decides it'd be a good idea to make a cameo and starts her sale pitch....my wife hangs up QUIKFAST



I say fukk it and throw it in the basket. Across the isle is the rubber dikks. I see one taller than @Billy Ocean


I ask her if she ever tried that one and she said no; only LGBTQ buys those...


I made the face and let out a loud HARAM....


The whole mood was deaded and she was offended.


Said "I'll bring this stuff up to the counter for you " and stopped giving me service.



Walked around a littler longer and grabbed some high level lube and went up to the counter.....as I'm checking out wifey texts me angry emojis and tells me not to spend any $$$ on any of that shyt..I'm at work WTF @maxamusa


Told staff to cancel the order....



minus the lube



She gonna be home soon and I already bought a box of franzia wine; now she mad at me for being romantic



Fukk it I'm crushing this whole box tonite dolo

 

[Dont@Me]

Can't believe I read all that shyt

 

[The BasedFather]

Was hoping you fukked the worker right there in the store. Throw her ass on a swing and handcuff her

 

[Da_Eggman]

@Buckeye Fever i hope you threw his ass out

 

[maxamusa]

Was hoping you fukked the worker right there in the store. Throw her ass on a swing and handcuff her

......



in another life

 

[cyndaquil]

Can't believe I read all that shyt

Here's the summary:
The narrator took a break from work to drink and visit a sex store. After a flirtatious encounter with a staff member and buying some items, they called their wife for approval but ended up canceling the purchase due to her disapproval. They decided to drink a box of Franzia wine alone to deal with the situation.

 

[maxamusa]

@Buckeye Fever i hope you threw his ass out

Y u doing my guy like that

 

[Coco Loco]

Can't believe I read all that shyt

You a good one @CouldntBeMeTho

 

[maxamusa]

Here's the summary:
The narrator took a break from work to drink and visit a sex store. After a flirtatious encounter with a staff member and buying some items, they called their wife for approval but ended up canceling the purchase due to her disapproval. They decided to drink a box of Franzia wine alone to deal with the situation.

Long story short

 

[east]

do they do custom dakimakura? you should get one of your wife and gift it to her, everyone loves dakis.

 

[maxamusa]

do they do custom dakis? you should get one of your wife and gift it to her, everyone loves dakis.

elaborate

 

[blues_funk_reggae]

 

[Brolic]

You went to a sex store to purchase lube and dildos?

 

[VegetasHairline]

Typed all that up and didn't say a damn thing!

 

[Carl Tethers]

fakkit