I don't know if this a joke or not, but that's messed up that you pay child support and you're not able to see your own children. I can see why you would resent them and I know you hate their mother's too. I'm sorry to hear that man, and I hope your situation gets better. I know that it's hard but it's not the kid's fault. Now the mothers are the blame for all that shyt. Your children wasn't born to hate you if they do. They was taught that by their mothers since you aren't allowed to see them. And I don't see how that flies that you aren't able to see them. You need to take their asses to court for an adjustment or something. At least put a court order for you to see your children if you really want to see them.