I hate trying to navigate the single life

[folasade]

I dont know how you all do it.


Alright, so i just got out of a relationship of 4 years. To cut it short, he had a wandering eye. There were tears shed and all that bullshyt, but i decide to try and move on. Coincidentally, i run into a guy i worked with a while back. I had a slighty crush on him before but i had my previous relationship at the time.

Oh my God, i honestly forgot what it was like to feel that way. To look forward to seeing someone. To thinking about them. The newness of it all.

We talked a lot and i dont know, maybe i confused his friendliness for mutual attraction or overthought it because it was different than what im used to, he never asked me out as much as i wanted it to happen. I just assumed that he was afraid to. Or that i was givng mixed signals. But has a girlfriend.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyy

It always feels like im getting the short end of the stick. Every guy i like either has a girlfriend or theyre not interested. And the guys that pursue me i dont want. it feels like its going to be impossible love again. What do i do? I want to put myself out there but i dont want to date a bunch of men.

 

[DatBoiHawk]

Welcome to the life of being a guy........now put your big girl panties on and hold ya head up

 

[Prynce]

That's what being a guy is like

Nothing but confusion and being mislead and hurt feelings

 

[BezO]

...What do i do? I want to put myself out there but i dont want to date a bunch of men.

If you haven't already, take more control of the situation. Initiate conversations with men you're attracted to. Give eye contact to men you're attracted to. Be more active with your interests so that you're around men with similar passions. Bassicaly, don't do that typical woman thing, sittin' around waitin' for men to pick you out.

And have conversations with these men you're interested in. Real ones. Meaningful ones. Not over text. Learn as much as you can before any dates. When you do date, do things that facilitate you gettin' to know each other. Inquire. Observe. Learn.

And focus on what really matters to you. Don't let your friends or society tell you what to look for in a man. If you need someone who makes you laugh, don't settle for good lookin' with a good job & no sense of humor. Looks can change. People get fired. But character & characteristics tend not to.

And don't forget you. What could you improve about yourself? What would make you happier, smarter, more interestin'? We tend to attract folks similar to ourselves in many ways. Hard to keep the attention of a smart person, for example, if you're severely lackin' in that area.

 

[CinnaSlim]

Date yourself. If you just got out of a relationship take that time to get in touch with yourself. Find out what you like, and didn't like in the past relationship. What you want out of life and what you learned from the last relationship.

Get rid of stuff that doesn't serve you. Free up time and energy to do what makes you happy. By focusing on bettering yourself, you'll attract people to you. By being your truest self, being authentic, those who love you will be attracted, those who don't like it, let them go.

When you are ready open yourself up to meeting people by attending events, joining groups, following your passions and interests.

 

[The Coochie Assassin]

Damn 4 years and u trying hop right back in a relationship...I don't know your age but unless you like 30, you have some time to chill for a minute and focus on yourself like CinnaSlim said. You probably have a lot of things you can improve about yourself. Do that first then start dating again. Dudes can smell a new woman out here in the dating world. You don't wanna waste 4 years with the wrong person again. Figure out who are the good men and who are the bad ones.

 

[Vice Queen]

Adopt a dog, that's what I just did. See new things, do different stuff.

Just don't jump into a new relationship so soon. And definitely don't jump into an ambiguous relationship because you'll turn around two years later and wonder why you're still seeing other people even though you've been dealing with the same person for two years, and you'll think about cutting them off in favor of someone who might actually do right by you, but you'll still be afraid that this person is a b*stard too.

But yeah, look up shelters in your area, dogs need love too.

 

[Ezigbo Nwanyi]

This was me a few years ago, the way I got over it is not giving a fyck and living life with no urgency to find a relationship. After awhile men came along and things progressed naturally. Some days I wished I was single, I have too much going on my life sometimes to obligate to a single person.

 

[folasade]

This was me a few years ago, the way I got over it is not giving a fyck and living life with no urgency to find a relationship. After awhile men came along and things progressed naturally. Some days I wished I was single, I have too much going on my life sometimes to obligate to a single person.

i know i'll will feel the same eventually. at the moment i'm feeling lonely.

 

[Taadow]

She said "navigate".
What - you got a Love Boat, or some chit?

 

[MikelArteta]

min sure you have 50 negros wanting to get with you

Stop associating with bum ass negros

 

[folasade]

She said "navigate".
What - you got a Love Boat, or some chit?

lol poor choice of words.

 

[Raava]

i know i'll will feel the same eventually. at the moment i'm feeling lonely.

It's ok to feel lonely. That's part of it, you need to feel that to learn to content with single life. Rushing to find someone to feel the void doesn't make you stronger and it usually ends how it has disappointment or missing signs. Just chill. I'm getting that just based on what I read. You may not be rushing at all. Just after a long relationship you should take some time for yourself. Single doens't mean you have to be dating. It can be fun not having to worry about anyone else for a little while and do whatever you want. Doesn't mean you won't be lonely from time to time.

 

[Rawtid]

I dont know how you all do it.


Alright, so i just got out of a relationship of 4 years. To cut it short, he had a wandering eye. There were tears shed and all that bullshyt, but i decide to try and move on. Coincidentally, i run into a guy i worked with a while back. I had a slighty crush on him before but i had my previous relationship at the time.

Oh my God, i honestly forgot what it was like to feel that way. To look forward to seeing someone. To thinking about them. The newness of it all.

We talked a lot and i dont know, maybe i confused his friendliness for mutual attraction or overthought it because it was different than what im used to, he never asked me out as much as i wanted it to happen. I just assumed that he was afraid to. Or that i was givng mixed signals. But has a girlfriend.
Whyyyyyyyyyyyy

It always feels like im getting the short end of the stick. Every guy i like either has a girlfriend or theyre not interested. And the guys that pursue me i dont want. it feels like its going to be impossible love again. What do i do? I want to put myself out there but i dont want to date a bunch of men.

I wish I had some advice to give. Being single is trash and I yearn to have my own relationship that I'm comfortable in. I hate dating.

 

[MoonGoddess]

Being single is so easy.
None of that emotional turmoil shyt you go through in a relationship.