[Remorse]: I hate being a black woman. I'm actually mixed, but if you have the skin, you're just black.
It upsets me because I have two other siblings that people can tell right away that they're mixed.
I'm not terrible looking, but I hate being told that I'm pretty for a black woman. I also hate it that I have big lips that are called DSLs.
Right now, I'm with my first boyfriend, who is white. While I love how he makes me feel, I know I am partially with him because I look for white guys to date since I do it in spite of the black men who look outside their race to date. I also feel better about the fact that he is a year and a half younger than me since it's usually guys that get younger partners.
I am fortunate to have a job but it's dominated by white males and it's quite physically demanding. I hate the inherent weakness that I have--no matter how much I work out, I will never be as strong as the average male. I also hate how coworkers will think I'm some sassy black woman since I hardly speak up and people just let stereotypes define me.
I think what really hurts the most is looking at how sex and race/color are seen in religions. Women are evil and below men and black is continually described as being evil. Granted, I don't know all of the text and fully understand each religion, but what I get from passages and "authorized" interpreters (pastors, monks, etc.) is that I am just the lowest of the low. If there's so much agreement between so many religions on how women and darkness are evil, I can't help but wonder if I am just a piece of shyt on a cosmic scale. With that being said, I think, what's the point of living if my worth has been decided already?
I hate that I have theses thoughts, which is why I wish I could just leave this world.
I hate being a black woman • /r/confession
But Kanye told me that being mixed race will make you beautiful and happy
It upsets me because I have two other siblings that people can tell right away that they're mixed. I'm not terrible looking, but I hate being told that I'm pretty for a black woman. I also hate it that I have big lips that are called DSLs.
Right now, I'm with my first boyfriend, who is white. While I love how he makes me feel, I know I am partially with him because I look for white guys to date since I do it in spite of the black men who look outside their race to date. I also feel better about the fact that he is a year and a half younger than me since it's usually guys that get younger partners.
I am fortunate to have a job but it's dominated by white males and it's quite physically demanding. I hate the inherent weakness that I have--no matter how much I work out, I will never be as strong as the average male. I also hate how coworkers will think I'm some sassy black woman since I hardly speak up and people just let stereotypes define me.
I think what really hurts the most is looking at how sex and race/color are seen in religions. Women are evil and below men and black is continually described as being evil. Granted, I don't know all of the text and fully understand each religion, but what I get from passages and "authorized" interpreters (pastors, monks, etc.) is that I am just the lowest of the low. If there's so much agreement between so many religions on how women and darkness are evil, I can't help but wonder if I am just a piece of shyt on a cosmic scale. With that being said, I think, what's the point of living if my worth has been decided already?
I hate that I have theses thoughts, which is why I wish I could just leave this world.
I hate being a black woman • /r/confession
But Kanye told me that being mixed race will make you beautiful and happy
