True story.
Last night I was having a jog in my neighborhood. Running through the park I could hear a woman sobbing behind some trees. I went to have a look to make sure this girl was OK, when I approached, it was actually New Jack. Around him were empty cans of baked beans, a piss stained cardboard box which he has been living in and a copy of Living Dangerously 1999 on VHS.
Confused, I asked whether he was OK. New Jack said he wasn't OK, he doesn't have a pot to piss in, reminded me he made minimal money for 5 years - 20 odd years ago - and doesn't know what to do. Joking, I said maybe he could park cars for some money.
"Park cars?" he said.
"Yeah, in those scars and dents in your head you were retarded enough to inflict on yourself you low IQ peasant".
He didn't find my comment funny and approached me with anger in his eyes.
"Careful Jerome" I said as he approached. "You're a gimmick brother, literally any member of the Spirit Squad would fukking literally kill you".
He swung at me, but he was so weak and his balance was off because his tracksuit bottoms were soaked in his own urine a fecal matter, he missed by about 4ft and fell flat on his broke ass.
I spat in his face and said, "New Jack, you're a bum."
I gave him $50 out of pity so he could buy some crack then finished off my jog.
