...I’m going to keep it 100% real, open and honest with you:
It’s damn hard to find a job when you’re doing it the wrong way and unfortunately, so many of us have been taught (or not taught at all) a process that either never worked at all or was good back in the 1950s.
...Times have changed. Technology has too. Isn’t it time you get the damn job and get on with your life?
In the words of Maya Angelou, “Nothing works until you do.”
Now, let’s move forward.
Resumes
Resumes should be stark, no fancy paper stock, colors or fonts. The font size should rarely get bigger than 12 point (likely the only place it will is your name at the top).
Don’t spend money on getting one made or buying goofy templates—Google has plenty of good ones you can use, which you can find when you go to docs.google.com.
If you decide to not use one of those, then at the very least remove the objective section—that will help keep everything on one page, more important than impressing anyone with flowery language that equates to 'give me a job'. Trust me, HR personnel don't care about things like that.
Speaking of keeping it all on one page, do just that. It shouldn’t take any more than three bullet points to detail what your job functions are and believe me when I say that more does not equal better, especially when there are 50 more resumes after yours to look at.
You want to sprinkle in keywords (technology/software used and/or other hard/soft skills you’ve used) into the job duty descriptions but be certain to not overdo it.
If your resume is spotty, limit the number of jobs to 3 with people you have a good relationship with. If you only have one or none, make some up (no more than 2) with local area phone numbers that either ring friends who'll cover for you or to a local Google Voice number you own.
One candidate used his parent's real business as his first reference (no one wants to call your mom for a biased view on your work), a made up company with a reliable friend as the second and another temp job as the third.
If you have a time gap between the last job you had and now, explain during the interview that you were taking care of an ill family member but now you're excited to get back in the job market.
Cover Letters/CVs
This is the exact one I tell every candidate to use every single time without fail or variation (unless the posting asks for salary, which you can throw in there somewhere too):
Dear Hiring Manager (use recruiter/HR person’s name if provided),
In today's (insert job title/field) oriented society, timely, friendly, proactive service is sought to enhance future business growth. Customer loyalty is always impacted when you employ the right service professional to represent you when assisting your valued customers.
My long-term experience in the (insert your) industry has taught me how to meet and exceed each customer's expectations with service that sells. I have assisted all types of customers in all types of settings. I realize that acquiring and maintaining loyal repeat business as well as spreading the word of your business through these loyal patrons is of the utmost importance in every company. Positioning a company for better exposure and greater marketability is a task that I have performed with success many times.
It would be a pleasure to interview with you and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Very Sincerely,
(your name)
Job Hunting Process
I have worked for companies directly and temp jobs, ultimately neither really matter because a check is a check. The first thing you should do is hit your local community college. Reason is, a) it helps keep you focused on finding a gig instead of watching Youtube clips all day, b) they always have free internet access and c) most times they have a job board that had positions not posted online anywhere.
Go to Craigslist in your area (e.g. atlanta.craigslist.org) and post your resume every day, at least 2-3 times a day.
When you post your resume, leave all contact info off it. The reason is 2 fold—spammers will sell your information and it is it is easier to weed out the bullshytters because a genuine person will more than likely include a 'I didn't see any way to contact you directly' in the email, which can also serve as an ice-breaker.
To keep spammers out of your inbox, set up a dummy account like (your first name initial and last name initial) + (‘jobs’) + (‘year, e.g. 2020’) @gmail.com to catch whatever garbage comes back around.
Speaking of online job boards: I would suggest concentrating your search through a few main ones if you can and do a sweep in the morning, afternoon and evening because new gigs pop up all the time. Remember; the only fulfillment you're looking for is in your stomach and the more resumes you send out, the more likely someone will hit you back for an interview.
Temp Agencies
Temporary agencies can either be a quick come up or a major frustration depending on how you do it. Here's the right way: start by collecting a database of temp agencies in your area.
Visit Google and search 'temporary agencies near me' or something similar and note how many you see and the locations. Grab their phone numbers. The big guys in temping are Robert Half & Assoc., Apple One and Volt but you'll find a bunch of smaller ones as well. If they're too far away to commute, don't mess with them because they almost always require you pre-interview before you interview with the real job.
After you've gone through all of those in your area hit up Monster and Careerbuilder. Note those that post jobs you want and add them to the list. Then, you call the entire list and ask to speak to a recruiter. Some will say you have to go online to fill out a general application before they can talk to you; others will ask you to send your resume via email.
Hit the ones that just need a resume and come back to the application necessary ones if your leads dry up. Also, if they aren't sending your resume out for a SPECIFIC job, there's no reason to come in. At all. It's a time suck and there are many who'll bullshyt you just to have heads on file. Ask them explicitly if they have an opportunity available before visiting their office. If they say they can't get you in the system and out to jobs before you come in, go to the next one.
Phone Interviews
Because there are so many people out of work and applying for jobs now, many places are opting for phone interviews first before bringing you in. While it is an extra step between you getting hired, it can work in your favor if you do it right. First thing to remember is because they can't see you, they have to feel you through the phone.
mil
That means speaking clearly with an upbeat manner and enunciation. If you can, get up and walk around as that will get your juices flowing and help you breathe, calm down and sound like you aren't dining on ramen nightly.
Most of the time the phone screener will ask you about your previous duties; just reiterate what's on your resume. Then they will come at you with open-ended situational questions like 'what did you do when faced with a particularly difficult customer' or 'what's your definition of.... Their aim is to gauge how well you can articulate yourself and adhere to standard operating processes; in other words this is when they will make their decision on whether to bring you in for a real interview or not so SELL YOURSELF.
Here are some good phrases to throw into the mix (you can damn near run this down like a hook pass play each time) the caps signal emphasis:
"I build RAPPORT quickly..."
"I UNDERSTAND how people relate to one another..."
"I'm RESULTS oriented..."
"I'm a ROLE PLAYER that understands a POSITIVE TEAM ATMOSPHERE..."
Basically these terms all amount to the answer to the question they didn't ask but really only want to know the answer to: can you come in, learn the job and leave without figuratively (and unfortunately now literally)killing anyone if we decide to fire you. Should you do well, you'll make it to the next and last step: the in-person interview.
In-person Interviews
Arrive there 15-30 minutes early in case they have you fill out an application and do prerequisite testing. If you see a receptionist there, introduce yourself to them specifically and ask his/her name.
Remember that saying 'dress for the job you want; not the job you have'? Yeah, I found it bullshyt too. Here's how you should really dress: Business casual is best.
The names on the labels can reflect whatever you choose to spend but invest a few bucks had a button down shirt with a matching tie, slacks and dress shoes shoes. Purchase another shirt to swap out for a second interview if need be.
Do this purposely because it builds a dynamic that can help put you in front of other candidates because of you being ‘non-threatening’ and ‘lower-middle-management' aura employers like. Dress too casually and they'll immediately label you slacker. Dress in high fashion suits and they'll think they can't afford you and you'll eventually quit to start your own business or take a higher paying corporate gig--a naked tie/shirt combination says that your entrepreneurial spirit is broken and you will gladly wear their yoke until you croak.
The question of 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' tends to come up and like the other open-ended questions they want to gauge your intelligence.
Realistically no one knows what they'll be doing in 5 years except the joyous and the downtrodden and they already told the joyous cat in the Brooks Brothers suit that he was 'overqualified' as they showed him the way out.
Look them straight in the eye and say 'I'd like to explore the possibilities here'; that question is their jab before the knockout punch of offering you well below what you should be making for the job and asking if that's alright.
They want to see if that glint of rebellion flares up from recognizing being played. If you’ve gotten to this point, money should’ve already been discussed and you wouldn’t be sitting in that chair if it wouldn’t work for your situation. Assure them that's fine and they'll believe you to be so thirsty for a job that they can keep you at this range for many years to come.
When they ask if you have any questions, say this:
"I only have one. What is the skill set necessary to become the best employee possible?"
By indicating that you only have one question you are framing this one question to be important to you and because you came back at them with an open-ended question that isn't easy to explain they will consider you intelligent enough to perform the duties well (aka they're getting more for their money out of this mule).
On the way out, laugh and joke with the interviewer as you head back towards the front, especially if there are others there waiting to interview; this may help make them more flustered when going in and less memorable when compared to you.
Also, if you can, ensure that the interviewer sees you say goodbye to the receptionist (and even go shake his/her hand if possible) as the HR manager and receptionist often compare notes afterwards. Being a good mention from the receptionist can't hurt.
If the interview went well you should hear back before the end of the day. If not wait until the day after the following day to follow up (although if they haven't called you yet chances are you didn't get it or something delayed the process). Don't send any sucker thank you notes, no one cares that much.
###
UPDATE: Because I kept getting questions (for YEARS since I originally wrote this) I've expanded on everything up above with updated information and step-by-step instructions. If the above helped in any way, this will definitely help more. Here's the pitch:
Amazon link
ob hunting is an uphill battle. THIS is your battle plan! Get The DAMN Job! Is the only guide that not only teaches you what Human Resources personnel think, but how they act and how to get through the process as quickly and efficiently as possible.
I want to make this painfully clear:
If you’re looking for pie-in-the-sky motivation, outdated practices like “your network is your net worth” or generalized information you can find all over the DAMN internet, this isn’t for you. If you want a set of straightforward, detailed, actionable directions starting from a blinking cursor on your computer to starting your job, then this is it. Don’t take my word for it; here are some of the simple, step-by-step instructions you’ll find inside:
How to choose (and use) the right keywords IN CONTEXT to get your resume past Applicant Tracking Software and in front of human eyes.
How to format your resume in a VERY SPECIFIC WAY to help recruiters quickly scan and assess your skills
How to LOCATE the REAL JOB POSTINGS online and skip the spam while getting more and better results
What your set of interview clothes should look like and what hiring managers ACTUALLY look for (It ISN’T what you’ve been told!)
How to STAY ORGANIZED and track your applications to stay on top of unemployment benefit requirements
PLUS: Access to a constantly growing database of FREE resources you can use TODAY.
It’s damn hard to find a job when you’re doing it the wrong way and unfortunately, so many of us have been taught (or not taught at all) a process that either never worked at all or was good back in the 1950s.
...Times have changed. Technology has too. Isn’t it time you get the damn job and get on with your life?
In the words of Maya Angelou, “Nothing works until you do.”
Now, let’s move forward.
Resumes
Resumes should be stark, no fancy paper stock, colors or fonts. The font size should rarely get bigger than 12 point (likely the only place it will is your name at the top).
Don’t spend money on getting one made or buying goofy templates—Google has plenty of good ones you can use, which you can find when you go to docs.google.com.
If you decide to not use one of those, then at the very least remove the objective section—that will help keep everything on one page, more important than impressing anyone with flowery language that equates to 'give me a job'. Trust me, HR personnel don't care about things like that.
Speaking of keeping it all on one page, do just that. It shouldn’t take any more than three bullet points to detail what your job functions are and believe me when I say that more does not equal better, especially when there are 50 more resumes after yours to look at.
You want to sprinkle in keywords (technology/software used and/or other hard/soft skills you’ve used) into the job duty descriptions but be certain to not overdo it.
If your resume is spotty, limit the number of jobs to 3 with people you have a good relationship with. If you only have one or none, make some up (no more than 2) with local area phone numbers that either ring friends who'll cover for you or to a local Google Voice number you own.
One candidate used his parent's real business as his first reference (no one wants to call your mom for a biased view on your work), a made up company with a reliable friend as the second and another temp job as the third.
If you have a time gap between the last job you had and now, explain during the interview that you were taking care of an ill family member but now you're excited to get back in the job market.
Cover Letters/CVs
This is the exact one I tell every candidate to use every single time without fail or variation (unless the posting asks for salary, which you can throw in there somewhere too):
Dear Hiring Manager (use recruiter/HR person’s name if provided),
In today's (insert job title/field) oriented society, timely, friendly, proactive service is sought to enhance future business growth. Customer loyalty is always impacted when you employ the right service professional to represent you when assisting your valued customers.
My long-term experience in the (insert your) industry has taught me how to meet and exceed each customer's expectations with service that sells. I have assisted all types of customers in all types of settings. I realize that acquiring and maintaining loyal repeat business as well as spreading the word of your business through these loyal patrons is of the utmost importance in every company. Positioning a company for better exposure and greater marketability is a task that I have performed with success many times.
It would be a pleasure to interview with you and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Very Sincerely,
(your name)
Job Hunting Process
I have worked for companies directly and temp jobs, ultimately neither really matter because a check is a check. The first thing you should do is hit your local community college. Reason is, a) it helps keep you focused on finding a gig instead of watching Youtube clips all day, b) they always have free internet access and c) most times they have a job board that had positions not posted online anywhere.
Go to Craigslist in your area (e.g. atlanta.craigslist.org) and post your resume every day, at least 2-3 times a day.
When you post your resume, leave all contact info off it. The reason is 2 fold—spammers will sell your information and it is it is easier to weed out the bullshytters because a genuine person will more than likely include a 'I didn't see any way to contact you directly' in the email, which can also serve as an ice-breaker.
To keep spammers out of your inbox, set up a dummy account like (your first name initial and last name initial) + (‘jobs’) + (‘year, e.g. 2020’) @gmail.com to catch whatever garbage comes back around.
Speaking of online job boards: I would suggest concentrating your search through a few main ones if you can and do a sweep in the morning, afternoon and evening because new gigs pop up all the time. Remember; the only fulfillment you're looking for is in your stomach and the more resumes you send out, the more likely someone will hit you back for an interview.
Temp Agencies
Temporary agencies can either be a quick come up or a major frustration depending on how you do it. Here's the right way: start by collecting a database of temp agencies in your area.
Visit Google and search 'temporary agencies near me' or something similar and note how many you see and the locations. Grab their phone numbers. The big guys in temping are Robert Half & Assoc., Apple One and Volt but you'll find a bunch of smaller ones as well. If they're too far away to commute, don't mess with them because they almost always require you pre-interview before you interview with the real job.
After you've gone through all of those in your area hit up Monster and Careerbuilder. Note those that post jobs you want and add them to the list. Then, you call the entire list and ask to speak to a recruiter. Some will say you have to go online to fill out a general application before they can talk to you; others will ask you to send your resume via email.
Hit the ones that just need a resume and come back to the application necessary ones if your leads dry up. Also, if they aren't sending your resume out for a SPECIFIC job, there's no reason to come in. At all. It's a time suck and there are many who'll bullshyt you just to have heads on file. Ask them explicitly if they have an opportunity available before visiting their office. If they say they can't get you in the system and out to jobs before you come in, go to the next one.
Phone Interviews
Because there are so many people out of work and applying for jobs now, many places are opting for phone interviews first before bringing you in. While it is an extra step between you getting hired, it can work in your favor if you do it right. First thing to remember is because they can't see you, they have to feel you through the phone.
mil
That means speaking clearly with an upbeat manner and enunciation. If you can, get up and walk around as that will get your juices flowing and help you breathe, calm down and sound like you aren't dining on ramen nightly.
Most of the time the phone screener will ask you about your previous duties; just reiterate what's on your resume. Then they will come at you with open-ended situational questions like 'what did you do when faced with a particularly difficult customer' or 'what's your definition of.... Their aim is to gauge how well you can articulate yourself and adhere to standard operating processes; in other words this is when they will make their decision on whether to bring you in for a real interview or not so SELL YOURSELF.
Here are some good phrases to throw into the mix (you can damn near run this down like a hook pass play each time) the caps signal emphasis:
"I build RAPPORT quickly..."
"I UNDERSTAND how people relate to one another..."
"I'm RESULTS oriented..."
"I'm a ROLE PLAYER that understands a POSITIVE TEAM ATMOSPHERE..."
Basically these terms all amount to the answer to the question they didn't ask but really only want to know the answer to: can you come in, learn the job and leave without figuratively (and unfortunately now literally)killing anyone if we decide to fire you. Should you do well, you'll make it to the next and last step: the in-person interview.
In-person Interviews
Arrive there 15-30 minutes early in case they have you fill out an application and do prerequisite testing. If you see a receptionist there, introduce yourself to them specifically and ask his/her name.
Remember that saying 'dress for the job you want; not the job you have'? Yeah, I found it bullshyt too. Here's how you should really dress: Business casual is best.
The names on the labels can reflect whatever you choose to spend but invest a few bucks had a button down shirt with a matching tie, slacks and dress shoes shoes. Purchase another shirt to swap out for a second interview if need be.
Do this purposely because it builds a dynamic that can help put you in front of other candidates because of you being ‘non-threatening’ and ‘lower-middle-management' aura employers like. Dress too casually and they'll immediately label you slacker. Dress in high fashion suits and they'll think they can't afford you and you'll eventually quit to start your own business or take a higher paying corporate gig--a naked tie/shirt combination says that your entrepreneurial spirit is broken and you will gladly wear their yoke until you croak.
The question of 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' tends to come up and like the other open-ended questions they want to gauge your intelligence.
Realistically no one knows what they'll be doing in 5 years except the joyous and the downtrodden and they already told the joyous cat in the Brooks Brothers suit that he was 'overqualified' as they showed him the way out.
Look them straight in the eye and say 'I'd like to explore the possibilities here'; that question is their jab before the knockout punch of offering you well below what you should be making for the job and asking if that's alright.
They want to see if that glint of rebellion flares up from recognizing being played. If you’ve gotten to this point, money should’ve already been discussed and you wouldn’t be sitting in that chair if it wouldn’t work for your situation. Assure them that's fine and they'll believe you to be so thirsty for a job that they can keep you at this range for many years to come.
When they ask if you have any questions, say this:
"I only have one. What is the skill set necessary to become the best employee possible?"
By indicating that you only have one question you are framing this one question to be important to you and because you came back at them with an open-ended question that isn't easy to explain they will consider you intelligent enough to perform the duties well (aka they're getting more for their money out of this mule).
On the way out, laugh and joke with the interviewer as you head back towards the front, especially if there are others there waiting to interview; this may help make them more flustered when going in and less memorable when compared to you.
Also, if you can, ensure that the interviewer sees you say goodbye to the receptionist (and even go shake his/her hand if possible) as the HR manager and receptionist often compare notes afterwards. Being a good mention from the receptionist can't hurt.
If the interview went well you should hear back before the end of the day. If not wait until the day after the following day to follow up (although if they haven't called you yet chances are you didn't get it or something delayed the process). Don't send any sucker thank you notes, no one cares that much.
###
UPDATE: Because I kept getting questions (for YEARS since I originally wrote this) I've expanded on everything up above with updated information and step-by-step instructions. If the above helped in any way, this will definitely help more. Here's the pitch:
Amazon linkob hunting is an uphill battle. THIS is your battle plan! Get The DAMN Job! Is the only guide that not only teaches you what Human Resources personnel think, but how they act and how to get through the process as quickly and efficiently as possible.
I want to make this painfully clear:
If you’re looking for pie-in-the-sky motivation, outdated practices like “your network is your net worth” or generalized information you can find all over the DAMN internet, this isn’t for you. If you want a set of straightforward, detailed, actionable directions starting from a blinking cursor on your computer to starting your job, then this is it. Don’t take my word for it; here are some of the simple, step-by-step instructions you’ll find inside:
How to choose (and use) the right keywords IN CONTEXT to get your resume past Applicant Tracking Software and in front of human eyes.
How to format your resume in a VERY SPECIFIC WAY to help recruiters quickly scan and assess your skills
How to LOCATE the REAL JOB POSTINGS online and skip the spam while getting more and better results
What your set of interview clothes should look like and what hiring managers ACTUALLY look for (It ISN’T what you’ve been told!)
How to STAY ORGANIZED and track your applications to stay on top of unemployment benefit requirements
PLUS: Access to a constantly growing database of FREE resources you can use TODAY.
Last edited:
