I had the misfortune of partaking of James John’s twice.
1. I had a BLT.
I bolded the L for two reasons: (1) there was a pornographic amount of lettuce on it
compared to the other two items, and (2) I took an L for eating it. And gottdammit if that
wasn’t the driest bread of all-time. It might have functioned better as a salad. It was the
worst sandwich I ever ate as a non-broke person. Until…
2. They brought in a bunch of JJ to work once to act like they cared about us eating when
on the low it really meant “we want you to stay here and work through lunch”. I am a fair and balanced
muthafucca, and reasoned “maybe it was just bad that one time”. No.
I grabbed one of them chits (same arid bread), and took a bite - wasn’t nann meat in dat sumumumbytch.
Okay - maybe this chit is like McDonald’s and sometimes they put the meat on uneven. No.
Well then what’s this funny chit? It’s…avocado? IS THIS A VEGAN SAMMICH?!?
I wanted to quit and then kill everybody. The nerve of everyone involved. How do you do this to someone?
The saving Grace was that it was barely bigger than a White Castle burger, so I did not toil for long.
So to sum it all up - James Johns saw fit to hand me the worst 2 sandwiches I ever ate that did not have Spam
on them. They somewhat damaged my family. My sister, whom I otherwise love, used to swear by them and
praised the JJ establishment by her job. But after experiencing the above horrors, I knew my sister and I were
growing apart.
