To be fair to that breh, A lot of times the white person in the relationship has a way of making you feel like they don’t see your race, they make you feel comfortable and accepted. They treat you well, and whatnot. They won’t reveal their true feelings about other black people outside of you... but over time it’s inevitable—they slip up. Typically they might say or do something ignorant, that doesn’t feel racist or as if it there was ill intent, so it’ll be overlooked, or corrected, and the breh or brehette will let it go, never associating the slip up with the fact that there partner might still be racist. Because they think to themselves, “well if they’re racist why are they with me?”
But the slip ups are their true feelings seeping/leaking out, your still not getting the full extent of their racism or true feelings.
Because that’s only going to come out when they’re really angry, super drunk/emotional no longer care about what you’ll think, done with you so they no longer give a fukk and/or triggered by something another black person did.
a lot of them or passive with it, for instance they will fukk bm or bw, but pull an Adele—as in they won’t marry or procreate. They’ll save that for their own. Or they’ll be nice to black coworkers but have no interaction with blacks outside of work and no black friends if they can help it. Or hell they’ll have black friends(token) but distance themselves from any notion that blacks get treated wrong, etc.
Sometimes they’ll still procreate with bm/bw because they love you specifically and see you as a special one. they’ll still have disdain or indifference for other blacks. And they won’t want their kids to identify as black or for others to see their kids as black. They’ll push “he/she white too!” often.
A lot of biracial girls I know—many attest to how racist their grandparents are, relatives are, and about their own mothers failure to identify with their blackness. Almost pretending/ not wanting to acknowledge the black part of their child until they’re forced to.
To sum it up, this breh may not have known how racist she was—it took this happening when she no longer cared, for it to come out. But you see that these were true feelings. Even as racist as they are, they’ll still fukk and pretend, befriend, date, all the while feeling this way. It’s weird as hell, but common.
