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Administering the appropriate daps and rep as needed. What a thread
Administering the appropriate daps and rep as needed. What a thread
Getting a Divorce Brehs...
- Thread starter Ziggiy
- Start date
mcdivit85
Superstar
But wouldn't that mindset be just as selfish as the one you claim the OP has, which led to his divorce?
Wouldn't a more appropriate ideal be to treat a man in the exact fashion you'd want to be treated? Including the withdrawal of nasty, belittling statements?
Peace
Keep in contact with Ex's breh's.
She text's me every so often. Not a big deal on my end
But wouldn't that mindset be just as selfish as the one you claim the OP has, which led to his divorce?
Wouldn't a more appropriate ideal be to treat a man in the exact fashion you'd want to be treated? Including the withdrawal of nasty, belittling statements?
Peace
For some women it's about moving the goal post Breh. And I'm saying SOME women not all women.
"Find a Man that loves me more than I love him so I can say/and or do anything I want without the fear of him using his own self-respect and common sense to call me on my bullshyt"
For some women THAT is what the "sanctity" of marriage is about.
ultraflexed
Superstar
I got married at 25 in 07, still married.
Women say stupid sh#t like this ALL THE TIME out of frustration black women (including my wife) are the worst communicators during times of anger and conflict.
Was this her only mistake?
Is this the usual way she handles conflict in the marriage?
Was she holding you down when you were in the military?
To be totally honest (My wife has said far worst sh#t to me during times of conflict )
If that's all it takes to break up your marriage....1). You never really loved her.
2).you were looking for a way out.
3). You have someone else in mind don't you.
4).has she forgiven you for mistakes you made?
Women say stupid sh#t like this ALL THE TIME out of frustration black women (including my wife) are the worst communicators during times of anger and conflict.
Was this her only mistake?
Is this the usual way she handles conflict in the marriage?
Was she holding you down when you were in the military?
To be totally honest (My wife has said far worst sh#t to me during times of conflict )
If that's all it takes to break up your marriage....1). You never really loved her.
2).you were looking for a way out.
3). You have someone else in mind don't you.
4).has she forgiven you for mistakes you made?
ultraflexed
Superstar
What's so good about it is that it's what I want to do. I can't explain to you how much I enjoy the business, it would be the equivalent of whatever you have a passion about and are exceptionally good at. I enjoy the work, I enjoy technology, I enjoy helping customers. Assistant Store managers start at about 60K and General managers can get upwards of 102K.
I'm a Geek Squad Manager. Which is actually hourly. It's the only hourly manager position within the store. I make $20.17 Hourly not including overtime and monthly bonuses (those bonuses)
So I went from $11.40 in December. Worked my ass off to two promotions and the third promotion was to Manager. I did that in 6 months AFTER the company with through a restructure (which took away positions)
I couldn't really relate to you how much work I put into it. How I worked open-close every single day for a three week stretch, legs so tired they felt like I was walking on Jello. How I got up at 5am every day to take the marta and be on time and let her take the car. Rain, snow, hail, whatever I made its mission to be right there at the store even before the opening manager was. I was the last one out of the door. The one who led all employees in sales after two weeks. I couldn't really relate that level of commitment and grind to you because in your ignorant mind this is a position that equates to McDonald's. You could never understand nor walk in my shoes....
But SHE knew. Because she saw me do it all before. Before we were married and I Was doing the exact same thing to be successful. She witnessed it first hand. She KNEW here was no way in HELL I'd ever allow myself to be "35 and making 12.50". Because no matter WHAT I do or where I start, I will ALWAYS end up successful.
She spit in my face when she made that comment. She took everything she'd ever seen me work myself to the BONE for and shyt on it. That it is NOT the woman that deserves my last name nor my forever. That is a woman who deserves exactly what she got.
The Bushes
#TPC
Elaborate. Give us examples of what she said.
Ok, I left a job where I was make 18.75, the previous job paid me 17, I ever job I had I always made more then the last.
But I needed to change careers to make more money so I go to medical college for 6 months during this time lost full time but school and work conflicted with each other and I paid 4k plus to go to this school.
So after a 20 weeks of school and a month on externship I could not find a job and was home for 3 months taking care of the kids (we have 3 little girls only 1 is in school).
So for the last 5 years my wife has made more then me because she got on at really good hospital (she is a cna) and got raises every year (hospital has union)
Also she is 4 years older then me.
During the 3 months I did not work she did a lot of overtime, since we've been together I have never been unemployed for longer then 3 weeks but I'm in a new field so, she was made at the situation, she was tired of making more then me, and having to carry the bills , mind you we just bought a brand new house, so mortgage on top of regular bills can be stressful bit not impossible.
So during time conflict, my wife said, I was sh#t and was never going to be sh#t,...lmao yes true, also, right after that she said if she left me I would become a massive success.......
She got mad because I have wealthy parents and that they never let me fall on my ass....... (I have never asked or received financial benefits from my parents)
But they watch our kids for free 4 days a week.
So we were going to end it, even though I got hired at the same hospital (different campus) that she works at.
If we sold our new house we would both walk away with 65 to 70k each.
But my parents would not babysit for her anymore and she would probably move back to her home town with her poor family who all need help and cannot help her
Me....I would take the 65k, move back in with my parents, save up for 2 years pushing that 65k to 120k, finish college (2 years left) get a promotion at my job which would pushed me to 29$ a hr , my parent probably would added a addition 30k which by the time 2018 arrived I would have 150k in my bank account, received 2 promotions pushing me over 30 a hr, single but 3 kids deep but free babysitting from parents........so yes in the end I would win.....but I think in her head she realized this and changed her tune....we love each other, I love my kids, I fight for them especially since I have all girls, but wife is loyal, a hard worker/great mom and fine ass hell so it's worth it to keep her.
ultraflexed
Superstar
Just to add...
Wife is horrible at communication during times of conflict which definitely could of ended our marriage.....I do think this a problem with majority of black women.
I call it compulsive outspoken behavior = someone that response is reactionary without further thought or logic and is done based off in the moment tension and anger.
Wife is horrible at communication during times of conflict which definitely could of ended our marriage.....I do think this a problem with majority of black women.
I call it compulsive outspoken behavior = someone that response is reactionary without further thought or logic and is done based off in the moment tension and anger.
BulletProof
Just a B@stard Living in a Suit
You said forgiven if I remember correctly.
What did she do?
What did she do?
finally finished the thread
so much to say, shout outs to that man @Ziggiy , what an inspiring story
and to all those that hated, may the ether slowly burn for ever
so much to say, shout outs to that man @Ziggiy , what an inspiring story
and to all those that hated, may the ether slowly burn for ever
the hypocrisyBut wouldn't that mindset be just as selfish as the one you claim the OP has, which led to his divorce?
Wouldn't a more appropriate ideal be to treat a man in the exact fashion you'd want to be treated? Including the withdrawal of nasty, belittling statements?
Peace
.༼-◕_◕-༽.
.༼-◕_◕-༽.
As a Black woman, I do not say these types of things to my SO at *any* time. Men are extremely sensitive to the people they care about and I wouldn't want to hurt him if he's down or going through a rough time. Words can wound very deeply and I think it's extremely important to be kind. My friends (Black women) are like this too. None of us belittle or talk crazy to our SOs. As a matter of fact, we don't talk crazy to others period. Life is hard. Being nice to other people is one of the most effective ways to get through life. I wouldn't want to go through life being ugly to people. That's not a good way to live. If I love you and ALL WE HAVE IS A TENT, I'm not going to stop loving you. Mutual love, respect, support AND effective mature conflict resolution are the keys to a good healthy relationship. Since you and your wife have built a life together, it's GOOD that you're staying together.
