Funny A** whoopings/beatings your folks gave you

ClassyME

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all your parents are complete savages

even telling a boy to get naked= you have gay tendency and are probably a few insults or beers away from child molestation

OK send your kids to time out and ground them so they can go shoot up their high school. fukk outta here wit that savage bullshyt. I'm sure all kids learn a lesson after a good beat down. Just cuz they're cute doesn't mean that they're little angels like everyone thinks they are!
 

Mountain

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One day i was wating for my moms to pick me up, when she pulled up i didn't notice but I had walked into the car with my shoelaces untied, bare in mind that she had told me not to walk around with untied shoelaces countless times prior.

She stared saying she was "going to make my nash red hot when we get back home", man that ride was one of the most intensive periods in my life :laugh:. Anyway, when we did arrive home i went into the house immediately and started cleaning my room and stuff so hopefully she would forget about the beating she promised me, but that shyt didnt help at all.

All i heard was *slam* "OYA!!!" when she found out were i was she started chasing me and trying to land slap combos, all i heard was "MA FO ETI E!!!!!" and "IDIOT!!!!", I had to avoid her by runinning around the table, i swear i had this face :sadbron: on the whole time :laugh:
 

Crakface

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My cousin put a bean bag on my chest - face and say on it. I screamed

"I CANT BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEATH I CANT BREEAEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATH"

He found it funny. I lost a piece of my humanity and mercy.
 

Thatrogueassdiaz

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i got the worst beating of my life when I was 9...i was caught watching playboy on the hot box and add to the fact i found my dad's porn stash...he knocked me out twice during the beating and revived me by beating me.....he broke my mom's wooden spoon over my head....i was so beaten up I could barely cry at the end...i crawled up the stairs...i felt all that for almost 2 weeks

:laff::laff::laff:

That's better than pouring cold water on you and then whipping with chords.
Cords.


Well I had to pee and I went and checked all three bathrooms and someone was in all of them. I went back to the 1st living room and sat down... I couldn't hold it so I peed on the chair. Some older lay comes from the neighborhood and my uncle told me "get up and have some manners and let Mrs. WhaEverHerNameWas sit".... She sat and I was hoping she'd keep mouth shut. Old lady quickly gets up and wipes her but then proceeds to smell her fingers. "OMG, it's PISS!"...:damn:

My uncle went outside to get a small tree branch from a near by tree and beat me till I was all red. I couldn't do shyt the whole day cuz I was in pain and my eyes were puffy. I looked like shyt... Tell ya what, I never pissed on a chair again.:win:

:huhlup: :heh:
I WET UP THE MAILMAN WITH A WATER GUN. MY MOM TOOK THAT CARDBOARD ROLL THING OFF THE HANGER AND WHOOPED MY ASS. nikka I WAS STILL WET WHEN SHE WHOOPED ME.

MY MOM ASKED ME TO ADMIT SOMETHING I DID. I KNEW I WAS GONNA GET MY ASS WHOOPED. I DENIED FOR LIKE 15 MINUTES. THEN SHE TRICKED ME. SHE SAID "YOU WON'T GET A WHOOPING IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH." SO I SAID fukk IT:manny: AND TOLD HER THE TRUTH LIKE A DUMMY. SHE PULLED OUT THE BELT AND I WAS LIKE AWW WTF?:why: SHE SAID, "YOU NOT GETTING A WHOOPING FOR WHAT YOU DID. YOU'RE GETTING A WHOOPING FOR LYING TO ME." fukkED MY MIND ALL THE WAY UP. I DIDN'T EVEN CRY BECAUSE I WAS JUST SO MESSED UP.

:wtf:
 

Ricardo Nixon

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I broke some shyt in the house one day, and being a ten year old who thought he was the reincarnation of Bruce Lee, I put the hands up to my mom. :snoop: She beat my ass all around the house. Didnt even bother using nothing but her hands. Then my dad showed up and they switched out like some damn wrestling. I still take that L to heart. :flabbynsick:
 

Nasty_Nate

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They were never funny. Got my ass whooped until I was 13, even though I was taller than both my parents by that point in time. Belt across the hands, belt across bare thighs. Remember the first and only time I ever cussed in front of my my moms. She said some shyt I didn't like, so I was like "Damn, what the fukk!" Then I got a two piece to the face from my momma. Never cussed in front of her again though.
 
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