I wasnt looking for any word personally. and envy is also incorrect. the word cant be envy when we ASKED for EQUAL rights. we dont envy white people in america or across the globe. we ask to be treated like humans. a human should never be in a position where he/she might feel envious because he/she isnt being treated as a human being. but again. thats what what black people feel vs whites. all we have ever desired was treat me as a human being. just like you and yours. nothing more...nothing less.
blacks feel is called fatigued.. to be sick and tired of being sick and tired of some other human trying to tell the world and you as well, that your people are sub human.
that gets tiring.
thats why i say its virtually impossible for a black person to be racist(we're not talking about name calling). even in the event where a black person harms a white person and says they dont like white people thats why they did it. now is that right? NO. but is it understandable after all black people have been thru at the hands of white people? YEP. See i can't logically understand why the white man hates black people. when actually blacks have done more to help whites then harm them. cant say the same in reverse.
how do america whites hate on blacks. when they chose to steal blacks and bring them here? makes no logical sense.
sure i know there are other reasons(the 1% of white folks turning the 99% against people of color to keep all of us 99%ers from rushing their gates. ) but just the simple idea of hating on a people that didnt come here by choice. blacks are not even next door mexicans that come thru. we..did not come here by choice. what you mad at us for?
white people in general think more about black people then we do about them. but blacks have been subjugated by whites. it makes no sense. why do young whites/and older ones always gotta black joke on their lips? how many white jokes has a black person heard thru their life time? one.... two... 3 maybe tops. ask your fellow white neighbor the same question in reverse and i guarantee you he/she cant count them on 2 hands.
the only time white people come up in my house or in my parent's homes. is when white people/white supremacy has done an injustice to some other person. thats it and thats all. So sorry, its not envy.