The breh @Sweet Meat Chaucer inspired me to give yall the tales of my cousin Duke. Seems im always apart of the fukkery that involves him and some stories are down right silly, but 100% true.
At little back story on him he always been a habitual source of fukkery since we was little. Prime example we were fishing as little boys with my grandma and parents. Dis nikka lets all the damn fish loose back into the lake
. We lookin at this nikka like "nikka"
But this light compared to the rest.
Fast Foward ....
Chapter 1: "I got this shyt Poppa"
So Duke enlisted into the Army. One of our cousins is getting married and he throwing a bachleor party, but its kinda a mixed party were you got females and shyt, basically a party at a club.
So Duke shows up, we don't know how he got leave or anything, most likely AWOL. Now his ex-wife is at this party also but nobody didn't think he was gonna be there because he was supposed to be in Kentucky. When this nikka walk in we all like
.
So as the night go on he getting agitated because his ex-wife ignoring him and flirting with some dudes that was there. So Duke takes off out the door mad as hell like
Now this nikka ran track in college so I aint catching him. So I get my other cousing Lino (remember his name) to let me hold his car keys so i can go get him.
Finally catch up to him at Columbia Mall parking lot. We out the car arguing, me tryna tell him to get back in the car and shyt, a cop pulls up.
Talked the cop down and like whew because im tipsy and he drunk as shyt. As the cop leaving this fool jumps into the driver side of the car.
I'm like "cuz you good? man you don't need to drive",
Cuz like "I got this shyt Poppa"
So we take off back to the spot, he doing good im like
As soon as we get back to the parking lot of the spot, i guess he saw his ex outside and them dudes, so this nikka drops it into 1st, smashes the gas, jumps a curb and hits a parked van.
So now Lino (my other cuz) comes out he looking at me and the car, and im like
So meanwhile, Duke wilding out, shirt off, asking everybody if they want that smoke.
So now Lino hot, he telling Duke "look what you did to my car". So Duke go and try to bang the dents out with his fist. When he stopped banging he look at Lino and said "Now the muthafukka fixed", and sucker punch Lino.
Finally that same cop shows back up, Duke gets arrested.
Now we like what the Army gonna do to him
Thats just the beginning of Duke and his Hazzards. To be continued...
At little back story on him he always been a habitual source of fukkery since we was little. Prime example we were fishing as little boys with my grandma and parents. Dis nikka lets all the damn fish loose back into the lake
. We lookin at this nikka like "nikka"But this light compared to the rest.
Fast Foward ....
Chapter 1: "I got this shyt Poppa"
So Duke enlisted into the Army. One of our cousins is getting married and he throwing a bachleor party, but its kinda a mixed party were you got females and shyt, basically a party at a club.
So Duke shows up, we don't know how he got leave or anything, most likely AWOL. Now his ex-wife is at this party also but nobody didn't think he was gonna be there because he was supposed to be in Kentucky. When this nikka walk in we all like
.So as the night go on he getting agitated because his ex-wife ignoring him and flirting with some dudes that was there. So Duke takes off out the door mad as hell like
Now this nikka ran track in college so I aint catching him. So I get my other cousing Lino (remember his name) to let me hold his car keys so i can go get him.
Finally catch up to him at Columbia Mall parking lot. We out the car arguing, me tryna tell him to get back in the car and shyt, a cop pulls up.
Talked the cop down and like whew because im tipsy and he drunk as shyt. As the cop leaving this fool jumps into the driver side of the car.
I'm like "cuz you good? man you don't need to drive",
Cuz like "I got this shyt Poppa"
So we take off back to the spot, he doing good im like
As soon as we get back to the parking lot of the spot, i guess he saw his ex outside and them dudes, so this nikka drops it into 1st, smashes the gas, jumps a curb and hits a parked van.
So now Lino (my other cuz) comes out he looking at me and the car, and im like
So meanwhile, Duke wilding out, shirt off, asking everybody if they want that smoke.
So now Lino hot, he telling Duke "look what you did to my car". So Duke go and try to bang the dents out with his fist. When he stopped banging he look at Lino and said "Now the muthafukka fixed", and sucker punch Lino.
Finally that same cop shows back up, Duke gets arrested.
Now we like what the Army gonna do to him
Thats just the beginning of Duke and his Hazzards. To be continued...
. Eau Claire High to be exact. 
.
. The other one looking like a fatter Lady of Rage
.
.
He like man I'ma run to the atm real quick. I'm like whateva nikka
. Now in the spot the place is like partioned of with two sides. Ole girl walks to the other side, so in my head I was like after I finish this game Ima walk over and get up with her. Mistake like a muthafukka. 
. This nikka say "Them hoes shoulda said hey". Aint neva seen that redbone eva again.
in for tales of fukkery
. 
. I should have asked for what but I let it slide, seem like he happy.
Oh word, what up wit ya innanet chick?
WTF this bytch had a catheter? For what?
