Describe Your Favorite Movies in as Boring a Way as Possible

[Vandelay]

Underachieving nerd wakes up from from a long nap, takes a network+ class, and suddenly becomes the best hacker in history.

Another nerd somehow bangs hot chicks while being an avid Dance Dance Revolution fanatic. Ex-lover jocks get jealous of spectacular displays of nerdom, and pick fights.

Man in black S&M suit wanders city and seeks revenge for parents death from person who trained him.

Man gets off on firing people because he lacks any other structure or purpose in life. Finally gets laid and decides to throw it all away.

Slovenly glorified uber driver chafferers coked up motivational speaker and consultant around the streets of LA for one unexpectedly harrowing night.

Coked up mechanical engineer, CEO, and warmonger has ethical change of heart after partying with arabs in desert.

"Good guys" with badges work to take down other guys with badges in an elaborate plot to frame black people in 1940s Los Angeles.

Albert Einstein wannabe and reaganomics-spewing manlet team up to unlock one of science's greatest discoveries while utilizing a sportscar no one ever bought.

Spoiled rich girl develops an incestuous relationship with her brother.

 

[Deltron]

1- private detective who specializes in crimes against pets is hired to locate a missing team mascot.
2- cop on bus w/ bomb tours Los Angeles

1 Ace Ventura 1
2 Speed

 

[Egomaniacal1]

Dogged cops identify and track a crew trying to pull off a heist. One man who has just finished years in prison, rejoins said crew to pull off said heist. The crew is leery of the job and for good reason. Things go left with a side of backstabbing and a side of love triangle.

In a similar film dogged cops identify and track a crew trying to pull off a heist. Cops have the crew dead to rights from the start but heist still goes off and is a success but things go left at the end. One man from the crew walks away after the smoke clears.

 

[mannyrs13]

A slacker has to deter a woman's advances and hook her up with another kid for his own benefit.

A man and his friends start a company trading pennies but things go wrong when a shoe designer gets involved.

I'll have to think of some more.

 

[KalKal]

Underachieving nerd wakes up from from a long nap, takes a network+ class, and suddenly becomes the best hacker in history.

Another nerd somehow bangs hot chicks while being an avid Dance Dance Revolution fanatic. Ex-lover jocks get jealous of spectacular displays of nerdom, and pick fights.

Man in black S&M suit wanders city and seeks revenge for parents death from person who trained him.

Man gets off on firing people because he lacks any other structure or purpose in life. Finally gets laid and decides to throw it all away.

Slovenly glorified uber driver chafferers coked up motivational speaker and consultant around the streets of LA for one unexpectedly harrowing night.

Coked up mechanical engineer, CEO, and warmonger has ethical change of heart after partying with arabs in desert.

"Good guys" with badges work to take down other guys with badges in an elaborate plot to frame black people in 1940s Los Angeles.

Albert Einstein wannabe and reaganomics-spewing manlet team up to unlock one of science's greatest discoveries while utilizing a sportscar no one ever bought.

Spoiled rich girl develops an incestuous relationship with her brother.

A lot of these are hard, but:
1)?
2)?
3) Man in black S&M suit wanders city and seeks revenge for parents death from person who trained him.
Batman Begins, if you're saying the League of Shadows killed the Waynes

4)?
5) Slovenly glorified uber driver chafferers coked up motivational speaker and consultant around the streets of LA for one unexpectedly harrowing night.
Collateral

6) Coked up mechanical engineer, CEO, and warmonger has ethical change of heart after partying with arabs in desert.
Iron Man

7) "Good guys" with badges work to take down other guys with badges in an elaborate plot to frame black people in 1940s Los Angeles.
LA Confidential

8) Albert Einstein wannabe and reaganomics-spewing manlet team up to unlock one of science's greatest discoveries while utilizing a sportscar no one ever bought.
Back to the Future, if you're combining Marty McFly with Alex P Keaton

9) Spoiled rich girl develops an incestuous relationship with her brother.
Star Wars:ANH ?

 

[Vandelay]

A lot of these are hard, but:
1)?
2)?
3) Man in black S&M suit wanders city and seeks revenge for parents death from person who trained him.
Batman Begins, if you're saying the League of Shadows killed the Waynes

4)?
5) Slovenly glorified uber driver chafferers coked up motivational speaker and consultant around the streets of LA for one unexpectedly harrowing night.
Collateral

6) Coked up mechanical engineer, CEO, and warmonger has ethical change of heart after partying with arabs in desert.
Iron Man

7) "Good guys" with badges work to take down other guys with badges in an elaborate plot to frame black people in 1940s Los Angeles.
LA Confidential

8) Albert Einstein wannabe and reaganomics-spewing manlet team up to unlock one of science's greatest discoveries while utilizing a sportscar no one ever bought.
Back to the Future, if you're combining Marty McFly with Alex P Keaton

9) Spoiled rich girl develops an incestuous relationship with her brother.
Star Wars:ANH ?

3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 are correct. I took some liberties with the actual story for hyperbolic effect.

 

[KalKal]

Man who thinks all people are takes the longest round-trip journey in history. Along the way he meets new friends and gains a new love for humanity. When he returns to New York he learns his original opinion of people was correct.

Nobody got this one? I must have done a good job making it sound boring.
Here's a clue: He picks up some animal companions along the way.

 

[Breh the HitMang]

An anthology of criminals getting into deep trouble

 

[KalKal]

An anthology of criminals getting into deep trouble

Tales from the Crypt (/Hood)

 

[Bryan Danielson]

Unidentified species says “what dat mouth do?”


Then bust off in your mouth and come out the chest

 

[Wargames]

• Man gets a job coaching football during the 1960s.
• A principal tries to turn his school around.
  
• Man is interested in woman, but he’s uncomfortable in his own skin.
• Man wants to be friends with a guy he did some work for.
• Man tries to carve his own legacy out of the shadow of his father.

Remember the Titans
Lean on Me
The Fly
The Cable Guy
Star Wars?

 

[Breh the HitMang]

Tales from the Crypt (/Hood)

nah

 

[Bryan Danielson]

Pedo wizard gives youth powers and changes him to creepy grown up that suspiciously hangs around other kids

 

[Wargames]

3, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 are correct. I took some liberties with the actual story for hyperbolic effect.

2 is Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

 

[Wargames]

Pedo wizard gives youth powers and changes him to creepy grown up that suspiciously hangs around other kids

Shazam?