You bring up another reason of why having a white therapist just can't work. Lack of trust.I was never able to find a black therapist. Had two white women who kept harping about me coming from a single parent householdNot saying it's not an issue but it would have been nice to talk to someone who knows that's common place and doesn't automatically peg you as a maladjusted individual because of it.
I remember the last one like it was yesterday. She came into the room with open toe orthopedic shoes on with stockings. Sort of like this and I couldn't stop looking at her feet and asking myself why did she wear those fukking stockings!! Like I remember being very angry with her.
in a cage being observed whilst poked&prodded to see how i'd react..quite a conflict of interest considering i twas a psych major in school too,always paradoxical eye ami've never met a therapist of any race/gender who could deal with thine mental parameters,then again that goes for mi familia/most friends&acquaintances,sometimes you just have to realize you're an otherworldly ethereal entity,and when this is the case you have to carve out your own sliver of sanity,by hook or crook..
i've had brovas/sistas tell me the exact same thing personally too,i can relate cause when i twas in therapy i just felt like a guinea pig/
anyhow,like i always mention in mental health threads the DSM twas based off a military mind protocol,so honestly i feel like they don't really try to heal you per say,they just want a functioning android to control
at this point if tis not a shaman/Alejandro Jodorowsky/Esalen Institute or something of a metaphysical nature i won't een fukk with it,tis worthless..
like Vinnie Paz said,"my hands clean,but i'll still get you touched like masseuses,my therapist told me that workin with me is just useless"
tis all a band aid anyways until you learn how to quiet/harness your own mind anyways,like anything else in life if you really want it you have to chisel away at it meticulously,no one from the outside can save you anyhow,you have to SaviorSelf
take it with 10,000 grains of salt cause i'm a cac anyways..
Yeah I also agree with the fixing yourself by yourself policy at moments because sometimes you have to look within for the answer.
If you need someone to talk to im here for ya man i know all about solitude and betrayal from people who you looked out for.I've had where I'd sleep in all day when I had class. I've been at the lowest points of my life. I had to learn things myself. I've lost a majority of my friends who couldn't bring themselves to understand or give a fukk about why I'm depressed. Same friends I helped ran off when I needed the same. They would just say "stop being depressed" No one understood seeing your father and grandfather pass within 3 years of each other. And then your brother goes to college. Leaving me in solitude. To fend for myself. I went from half a summer in a mental hospital and no friends and almost getting kicked out of school to being halfway through college and trying to make something of myself. I still have my low moments but im doing something with my life.
Its like friends watching you get your legs blown off and say "stop crawling get up and walk" same ones that'd act like their phones didn't work yet when I hung out with them they be texting.
