The thing is.... both of you are right and wrong.
Because you're leaving out one important variable-- attractiveness.
All these rules get thrown out the window when a female is attracted to you and desires you.
Similarly, all these rule are put in place when they DON'T find you attractive.
Women don't find most men attractive. So the last thing they want to do is give them reasons to approach.
They want most men to admire them from afar -- through likes and thirsty comments on social media.
If you're not a good looking guy, the napkins weren't going to help you anyway.
Yeah, all the rules change if the woman finds the man attractive. But I'm leaving that out because you can't standardize attractiveness. What these women are trying to do is establish a base set of rules under which someone can talk to them and it makes no fukking sense because as you said if the guy is hot they don't apply.