my ten commandments
1. Say Nothing or be very concise.
A) If a chick dumps you through text message
say nothing.B) If it's over the phone just say
ok and I gotta go.c) if its face to face
stay calm and slowly make your exit.
Why? Keep your emotions in check, the less you say the less of anything you say or do that you will regret later will happen.
Keeping your dignity is one of the biggest and best things you can do. Years later I still kick myself over writing a letter and sending it to a girl I was dating who dumped me. It will also make her ponder why isn't he crying, screaming, begging, getting angry, asking why etc.
2. Don't contact her ever again.
Everyone knows of the no contact rule and trust me it works, by not contacting her, fishing on facebook, twitter, instagram etc. for info. She will slowly but surely get smaller and smaller in your mind. I've been there a ex on my mind it seems 24/7, first thing when I wake up in the morning and the last thing at night. But by instilling No Contact she slowly started to disappear as every day went on.
3.Don't be friends with the ex
Exes only want to be friends to relieve their guilt, keep you as a backup in case the new dude doesn't work out and/or string you along to mess with your emotions. I was friends with an ex once and it set me back like almost 5 years of my life because emotions I thought were dead kept reappearing, just dead it cut the cord go your separate ways.
4. Go hardcore and disappear
I'm the type of person if the relationship was somewhat substantial to change my number so my heart ain't racing every time I get a text, or a phone call. To change my email, disable any social networking until I'm healed. From my personal experience this is the quickest and best way, there is zero chance if you take these steps of her contacting you which kills all the disgusting disease known as hope. I remember after a breakup I would constantly check my phone I did not want my ex to contact to me but a tiny part I guess would not have minded the ego boost if she cracked and text me or called. When I finally changed my number the release I felt was overwhelming. As for social networking, I remember I changed my number but a ex hit me up through facebook writing me a message begging for another chance.
5.Remove any pictures
Yep remove all pictures of you two you may have hanging around, nothing is worse than seeing a picture of you and your ex smiling by your bedside etc. Again if you can go hardcore, throw all those pictures in the trash, cut the cord now. This goes as well for deleting all pictures of your ex on your computer, yes even the nudes ones and any sex videos you made, now you can always put them on a usb and store it if you must, but why look at the past?
6. Let your emotions out.
As men we keep stuff inside, but trust me nothing is better than just venting whether it's writing on a piece of paper how you feel, talking to someone who has your back, even going to therapy. Let all that hate, angry, sadness, pain out. Make sure not to her though,
NEVER LET YOUR EX KNOW YOUR EMOTIONS.
7. Travel
Travelling saved me when I was at my lowest point, sulking locked up in my room. A week away did wonders, being surrounded by beautiful women by the beach without any worries in the world opens your eyes and realize you'll be OK. That it's a big world out there with billions of women and the release you feel from just relaxing enjoying life is great.
8. Realize your ex isn't all that
As a man who has dated models, and beautiful women of different ethnicities sometimes the "damn will I ever get another broad that beautiful again " thoughts hit. Realize you did it once and you can do it again, hell there are hundreds of millions of women out there who look better than your ex if all you care about is looks, and there are tons of other women out there who will be much more compatible, so don't stress it at all. I remember after I broke up with my ex fiance I was like damn, she was so beautiful, she never wore makeup, barely dressed up but wherever she would go jaws would just drop would I ever get that again. I mean I wasn't even thinking of how much of a leech, conniving, horrible person my ex was to me just that she was the most beautiful girl in the world (in my eyes), and I'll never be that "lucky again". It's amazing how your ex could be straight horrible, offering nothing, in your mind you wished many times you could just go your separate ways. But once you are broken up your mind plays tricks on you and suddenly she is a 10/10. Realize your ex ain't that special, your mind is a powerful tool that is playing tricks on you.
9. Hit up relationship forums and read stories worse than yours!!
Wow you sick b*stard!!, Yup, you think you got it bad because your ex dumped you, or you found out your ex cheated, or you dumped her and your struggling why did I do that? Just hit up any relationship forum and read stories of 20 year marriages broken up, or 7 year relationships ended. Realize hey there are others going through this, my situation is not that special, I will get over this. And at least I wasn't married with 2 kids and now paying alimony and child support.
10. Learn from your Mistakes
Learning from your mistakes is key, maybe you didn't follow your gut. I remember in two relationships in my life, I had this feeling and ran into red flags early on when I should have walked away, but the sex was good, they were hot , I didn't want to hurt their feelings so I said screwed it, fell for them and then ended up getting burnt in the end.This taught me in future relationships when I see red flags, or get a feeling to start my engine and get out of there. Remember in all your past relationships the common denominator is YOU!!!
Summing it up BREHS!!!
It's up to you, how long you want to live and battle with the pain. Sad thing is most exes only want you back when you finally reach the point of no longer caring or wanting them back. I say