In a shocking turn of events, three of the most highly anticipated games of the decade have been officially delayed to 2026. Fans around the world are reeling after simultaneous announcements from Rockstar Games, Kojima Productions, and Sucker Punch revealed that Grand Theft Auto VI, Death Stranding 2, and Ghost of Yotei will not meet their previously projected 2025 release windows.
Rockstar Cites "Unforeseen Complexity" in GTA VI Development
In a statement released earlier today, Rockstar Games confirmed that GTA VI—originally slated for late 2025—has been pushed to "early 2026." The studio cited "unprecedented demands for next-gen immersion" as the primary reason for the delay, including last-minute additions like a fully functional in-game cryptocurrency economy and a dynamic AI-driven NPC dialogue system that "sometimes argues with players."
"We want to ensure that GTA VI isn’t just a game—it’s a life simulator that may eventually replace reality," said a Rockstar spokesperson. "Also, we lost six months of work when an intern accidentally turned Vice City into a low-poly PS2-era asset flip. Oops."
Kojima’s Death Stranding 2 "Needs More Time to Be Even Weirder"
Hideo Kojima took to social media to explain that Death Stranding 2’s delay stems from his desire to "add one more completely inexplicable celebrity cameo" and "a gameplay mechanic where players must emotionally connect with their DualSense controller."
"We were almost done," Kojima tweeted, "but then I had a dream about Norman Reedus delivering a baby while riding a cybernetic whale, and now we have to include it."
Sucker Punch’s Ghost of Yotei Delayed for "More Authentic Snow Physics"
Meanwhile, Sucker Punch Studios announced that Ghost of Yotei, the follow-up to Ghost of Tsushima, has been delayed to refine its "historically accurate feudal Japan snow deformation technology."
"Our motion capture team spent three months studying how 13th-century samurai would realistically trudge through knee-deep powder," explained Creative Director Nate Fox. "Also, the foxes needed to be 12% cuter. Non-negotiable."
Fan Reactions: Anger, Denial, and Conspiracy Theories
Gamers worldwide have taken to forums to express their frustration, with some claiming the delays are part of an elaborate industry-wide April Fools' prank. Others insist this is a coordinated plot by "Big Delay" to sell more Game Pass subscriptions.
As of press time, no executives have responded to requests for comment, though an anonymous source at Sony whispered, "Check the date, dumbasses," before hanging up.
Stay tuned for updates—assuming they don’t get delayed too.
Iight
