Responses like this is why I do not speak on it anymore. There is a lack of understanding.
My take is you feel trapped. You hate your life and the loss of your freedom and youth. You love your wife and kids out of obligation and the fact you grew up without a father. It’s basically because you grew up without a dad. If not you woulda been left your wife. What are you gonna do? Kill yourself? You couldn’t put that on your kids. Your kids are what’s stopping you. I suggested a trip to sew your royal oats. Ok not the best option for you. Here’s another idea, when both your kids are grown leave your wife. That way you don’t feel guilty. Plus you’ll be in your early 40s. Enough time to make up for lost time. Yeah you love your wife but you trapped in a cycle you don’t want to live. You think that will improve over time? When the kids are grown live your life. That’s my advice.