I consider myself a black feminist but I don’t define it in the way mentioned here. Black feminism is almost the exact opposite of white feminism. Black women have historically worked outside of the home, our men don’t make more money than us so the whole pay equality thing doesn’t make much sense. The focus on black feminism should be healing the family and being hyper-feminine after hundreds of years of playing both the man and the woman. Step aside and let your man be the man. Let him lead your household and trust in his judgement. Prop him up, praise him, be his biggest advocate and ally because the world (racism) has so gravely damaged him.
This is hard for most black women because most of us witnessed a deadbeat daddy who didn’t do much for us or our mothers. Most have no reason to believe a black man can or will treat us right, take care of us, not cheat on us. With the GMB movement, why would any woman think that a man was going to take care of her? Marriage is everything for family. It’s a huge security blanket for women. You take that blanket away then of course the sister is looking at plan B ie “strong independent black woman”
I’ll say this, when we were dating my husband got called away for a once in a lifetime opportunity that would last several years across the country. He wanted me to go with him. I had an amazing job with exceptional pay and had no plans to leave it for a “boyfriend”. I told him that unless I had the security and dignity of marriage, there was no way I was quitting my job. We went to the courthouse and got it done. That was all I needed to make myself vulnerable and begin following beside him. Some people aren’t like this. Some men detest any ultimatums—but an ultimatum like that was a standard I had for myself. What kind of fool would I be to quit my job for a boyfriend? Why should I make such a monumental risk while he takes none?
Also, some women aren’t like me, who would start wearing hijab, dressing modestly, saving all my “freakum dresses” for my husbands eyes only.
I know that many people roll their eyes at religion, but I think if we at least followed some tenets of Islam, our community would be so much stronger. Gender roles exist for a reason and we’d be better to follow them.
