At what age did u get it?

[VerbalIntercourse]

i can appreciate the sentiment. But did you learn nothing worth an iota of respect from your parents? I mean even the fuked up saturday i just described I can look back and thank my pops for trying to teach me some shyt. Is there nothing noteworthy your parents ever did for you to earn any respect from you?

I didn't learn anything from my parents at all. If anything, I learned what not to be.

My dad sold crack until I was 7. I remember how he would cook that stuff and use the triple beam scale. I told him that I remember that and my mom interjected, "Your dad didn't think you guys would remember". I mean how can I respect someone that manufactured crack cocaine in the same house that his kids lived in?

She threatened him with a divorce if he didn't stop and finally he did.

My dad never supported us or attended our special events (like graduations, concerts). He just worked, watched TV and tried to do his stupid side hustles that always failed. I really just didn't like the dude for a long time. He never told me any advice, never taught me how to do anything, nothing.

The only people I learned anything from was my paternal grandma and my Uncle. My grandma has been retired for 30 years, and she is active in the catholic church as volunteer, and she has seen the world more than three times. She told me, "the key to life is to work hard and save. That's why I can live the life I live now". I always remembered the things she told me, and I see her independent, disciplined and busy life as an example for me to follow.

My uncle told me a few weeks ago that, " your parents never really grew up. They are still kids. You and your sister are much stronger and smarter than them".

My parents need my advice. They are like little kids to me, and have been since I've become a grown-up. I talk down to them because they need it, but it doesn't make me feel good.

 

[tru_m.a.c]

yeah that had me like in college to. I'd go down to do my laundry and dudes putting red shirts with white shirts on the verge of mixing some bleach in that shyt...I had to put on a clinic...and don't even get me started on ironing... at 18 you're a grown ass man you should be able to do the following:
1. Tie a tie.
2. Your own laundry
3. Wipe your ass correctly
4. Iron / press a shirt. God help you if you can't figure out how to iron pants...

I mean bare minimum right?

maaaaaan college honestly got me in tip top shape

seeing shyt like this, made me look myself in the mirror like "don't be like those nikkas"

I don't give a fuuuuuuuck how color safe your detergent is. I follow that tag like the constitution.

shyt, til this day I get in arguments with my mom if she throws my clothes in with the fams and its not on tumble dry low. Got me ready to when my t shirts and shorts come back a size smaller

Even with a dad that was always there, I had to teach myself how to tie a tie. The internet holds you down for real.

 

[Serious]

 

[Onpoint12]

good thread

 

[SunZoo]

real talk right there. i didn't "get it" all until then. I see a lot of the me in them so when they don some shyt i'm like ..."i used to do that too".
I learn more from my seed then they'll ever learn from me.

the shyt i love the most though is when they try to pull some slick shyt and i hear what they say and then I remember saying things like that and thinking, "and all this time i thought i was making moves, if i was as transparent as my kids now then at my "scheming"

exactly, my kids are mentoring me, it's funny, sad and beautiful all at the same time my nikka

they keep me so aware of myself, my mistakes, my insecurities that i don't want them to inherit, the shyt that i KNOW even from 2 or 3 years of age that they will probably struggle with, directly or indirectly because of who i am, and how to prepare myself to be there for them to when they wonder why they are like they are

i never had that, i never even had parents to be honest so it's frightening when i sit and think about how i'm really operating without a manual, so i study them, i tell my daughter all the time how great of a teacher she is

they enrich my life so much and all i do is feed them and keep them from killing themselves, i feel like i got the sweet part of the deal

 

[MF_BREW]

13 or 14, When mom was on life support and the doctors saying she might not make it. Get my brothers up for school,help my pop out with paper work, cook, tell my brothers to clean there rooms. Then when my mom came back from the hospital (fukk them docs saying shyt aint gonna make it.) Help get my mom back on her feet.

 

[Serious]

13 or 14, When mom was on life support and the doctors saying she might not make it. Get my brothers up for school,help my pop out with paper work, cook, tell my brothers to clean there rooms. Then when my mom came back from the hospital (fukk them docs saying shyt aint gonna make it.) Help get my mom back on her feet.

Not trying to make lite of your situation, but idk why I thought of one of Joe Budden's songs.....

Joe Budden - In The Air - YouTube

@BarNone

 

[Brown_Pride]

For the following I'm going to assume you're a real person without made up stories k?...

I didn't learn anything from my parents at all. If anything, I learned what not to be.

My dad sold crack until I was 7. I remember how he would cook that stuff and use the triple beam scale. I told him that I remember that and my mom interjected, "Your dad didn't think you guys would remember". I mean how can I respect someone that manufactured crack cocaine in the same house that his kids lived in?

You learned NOT what to do. My pops left me a crack house once, fuked up endless amounts of holidays, was just put up for 20 years flat (wont see him again until i'm 50), BUT from time to time he did well, he loved us, was very...intelligent (except when he was being a dumbass). I know some parents are completely worthless, but at a bare minimum they sometimes motivate us to NOT be like them. You see them struggle and if they were NOT there you may have made some of those mistakes, but because you saw that glaring examples of WHAT NOT TO DO, you didn't do it. IN a sense pops took one for the team. Fell in the holes you could have and filled them up. NOt saying he deserves credit for fuking up, just pointing out the possibility of a silver lining.

My dad never supported us or attended our special events (like graduations, concerts). He just worked, watched TV and tried to do his stupid side hustles that always failed. I really just didn't like the dude for a long time. He never told me any advice, never taught me how to do anything, nothing.

I find that hard to believe, i also noticed the focus of your angst centers around your pops, not your mom yet you talk down to your mom? Did she offer no advice either, how about food, clothing, shelter?

My uncle told me a few weeks ago that, " your parents never really grew up. They are still kids. You and your sister are much stronger and smarter than them".

You should be better than your parents, my goal is to have my kids be at a minimum 1.5x better off than I am/was.

My parents need my advice. They are like little kids to me, and have been since I've become a grown-up. I talk down to them because they need it, but it doesn't make me feel good.

Then why do it. Clearly your "advice" hasn't changed shyt, nor will it ever. Effectively you're just being an ass to your parents. I'm no psychiatrist but sounds to me like you might benefit from speaking to someone about those things. All that pent up anger and unresolved shyt is having an affect on you homeboy, whether you know it or not.

 

[No1]

Not trying to make lite of your situation, but idk why I thought of one of Joe Budden's songs.....

Joe Budden - In The Air - YouTube

@BarNone

I don't care what anybody says, Joey is still my dude.

 

[Liquid]

14 was big for me...that summer of 98

 

[Dirty Mcdrawz]

at least twice a day i stop and pause and say, "what the hell were my parents thinking?"

breh i know the feeling. i grew to be so spiteful i refused to get my driver license until i was out of my parents house. my dad still had me driving around town with no driver license

 

[88m3]

14 was big for me...that summer of 98

 

[MF_BREW]

Not trying to make lite of your situation, but idk why I thought of one of Joe Budden's songs.....

Joe Budden - In The Air - YouTube

@BarNone

HAHA, it cool, man. Love that track.

 

[newworldafro]

Since 5 i guess. i grew up in Nairobi, in between two slums. No choice but to take initiative and learn what needed to be done. Walked to school, begged for lunch money when i didn't have it, stole some shyt, never touched drugs i would have but one of best homies called Abubakar had his place raided by some cops, didn't want to see the inside of a African prison. Pops was in and out, i remember he decided not pay my school tuition for a year, i stayed home all day and read encyclopedias all teary eyed and shyt saying " ima learn all this shyt leave this place and NEVER COME BACK!!!" i aint been back since.

I remember hearing about some slum in Nairobi, its been like well documented and studied.......just crazy.....

Nairobi | City Gallery - Page 213 - SkyscraperCity

http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=917224&page=21

Obviously these developments alone can't accomodate the millions of people in slums, but hopefully it'll lead to some "trickle down"

 

[EQ.]

I remember hearing about some slum in Nairobi, its been like well documented and studied.......just crazy.....






"

Yeah the "Kibera Slums". I grew up in "Kangemi" but "Kibera slums" are status brehs, im talking severe poverty and degradation. If someone makes it out of those kibera slums, i guarantee you that they are absolutely fearless and unfukkwitable and near Gawd status, because to survive there is like an double arm amputee performing successful brain surgery while blind, with their eyes closed, with a blindfold on in a dark room, damn near impossible.