Are black women paranoid about being used for sex?

[LadySimone]

I'm on lipstick alley sometimes and when I go to relationship alley there are threads upon threads of black women being warned about "chilling" at a guys house. They all warn about how you will be used for sex and if you go over there you ain't shyt (but have a baby by Future and they will rally around you like a some earth mother).

There just seems to be this prevailing belief that all black women must protect themselves against being used for sex.

Now I'm not naive. I know some dudes are bummy broke and just want to get laid but is there ever any chance of genuinessness emanating from a black man and his romantic intentions?

I personally believe that black women have been traumatised by dating black men. All the optimism, fun, specialness, happiness and joy of a new relationship has been sucked out of them.

I don't think I have ever heard most of them speak positively about dating. It's like there is never a honeymoon period only a cessation of combat.

The gender war has surely ruined dating for black women.

Maybe they should date white men to get that hopefulness and optimism back.

 

[LadySimone]

@Blackking
@Juicy @bcrusaderw @Panthera

 

[LadySimone]

@Phoenix_Knightly23 @CinnaSlim

 

[JahFocus CS]

Maybe they should date white men to get that hopefulness and optimism back.

I have a feeling you made this thread just to say that.

 

[LadySimone]

I have a feeling you made this thread just to say that.

I was being a dikk. But I'm serious. My sisters are battle scared.

 

[Oceanicpuppy]

I'm on lipstick alley sometimes and when I go to relationship alley there are threads upon threads of black women being warned about "chilling" at a guys house. They all warn about how you will be used for sex and if you go over there you ain't shyt (but have a baby by Future and they will rally around you like a some earth mother).

There just seems to be this prevailing belief that all black women must protect themselves against being used for sex.

Now I'm not naive. I know some dudes are bummy broke and just want to get laid but is there ever any chance of genuinessness emanating from a black man and his romantic intentions?

I personally believe that black women have been traumatised by dating black men. All the optimism, fun, specialness, happiness and joy of a new relationship has been sucked out of them.

I don't think I have ever heard most of them speak positively about dating. It's like there is never a honeymoon period only a cessation of combat.

The gender war has surely ruined dating for black women.

Maybe they should date white men to get that hopefulness and optimism back.

I have been a victim of the " lets just chill" phrase so maybe I'm a bit biased. However, for the most part I just assume all men just want to have sex and be done with you if they had their way.

A lot of men don't really look for companionship during courting and the initial dating process. They just don't and don't care what ya'll say its the truth. Whats going through most mens mind is "how can I get in a position to fukk and how soon?" It doesn't matter if they like you or not, thats just the way it is.

 

[LadySimone]

I have been a victim of the " lets just chill" phrase so maybe I'm a bit biased. However, for the most part I just assume all men just want to have sex and be done with you if they had their way.

A lot of men don't really look for companionship during courting and the initial dating process. They just don't and don't care what ya'll say its the truth. Whats going through most mens mind is "how can I get in a position to fukk and how soon?" It doesn't matter if they like you or not, thats just the way it is.

I get that but is there ever light at the end of the tunnel? Do black women believe that black men actually like and want to date and respect them? There just seems like a lot of pessimism. It makes me feel sad.

 

[twan83]

I have been a victim of the " lets just chill" phrase so maybe I'm a bit biased. However, for the most part I just assume all men just want to have sex and be done with you if they had their way.

A lot of men don't really look for companionship during courting and the initial dating process. They just don't and don't care what ya'll say its the truth. Whats going through most mens mind is "how can I get in a position to fukk and how soon?" It doesn't matter if they like you or not, thats just the way it is.

not all men are like that tho
if i wanna fukk that bad i can just go find a fukk buddy simple as that and i will also be upfront bout that

if i ask u to chill at my place i literally mean to fukking chill watch a movie convo and thats that but if u come on too me and what not then thats a matter of choice if i want too or not and i have shut females down cuz i didnt ask u to come over to smash i ask u to come over cuz i enjoy ur company the sex can happen another time no reason to rush

dont get me wrong i may think bout sex like a normal guy but i dont act on it either. i have plenty of self control and what i value u more is ur company to chill with and sex can happen whenever it happens naturally

i'll never and havent forced it nor push the issue. its not that damn serious too me. sex just complicates things usually if it turns out and u aint even in a relationship with them

 

[Raava]

I'm not doing the race thing, as far as dealing with black men. I think dealing with men period.

They are scared because its true. The dating world has changed. Are all men bad? No of course not. But just look at how guys talk on TheColi. their attitudes towards females, dating and sex. I have said before some is just talk but some really feel that way and if they got the chance to interact with females in real life they would try to dog them out to prove something. There is a lot of misguidance to guys and females. I got tired of dudes trying to pull things with me because they got away with it dealing with other females. People hardly date anymore, its the norm. That come chill bull A guy will go as far as you let him. You either know your boundaries and stick to them or don't put yourself in that situation.

 

[Oceanicpuppy]

I get that but is there ever light at the end of the tunnel? Do black women believe that black men actually like and want to date and respect them? There just seems like a lot of pessimism. It makes me feel sad.

Have you ever been used for sex?

 

[CinnaSlim]

I think most men if they can get sex, will try to get it if it's available. It isn't just a black thing. Chilling at a guys house first date, it the laziest, easiest set up for sex. You're already in a dark private room, all he has to do is make a move and see if you're into it.

I'm by no means scarred by black men. It really just the generation we are in now. Where Tinder and Skout make sex and hookups readily available.

 

[Elle Driver]

I have been a victim of the " lets just chill" phrase so maybe I'm a bit biased. However, for the most part I just assume all men just want to have sex and be done with you if they had their way.

A lot of men don't really look for companionship during courting and the initial dating process. They just don't and don't care what ya'll say its the truth. Whats going through most mens mind is "how can I get in a position to fukk and how soon?" It doesn't matter if they like you or not, thats just the way it is.

Not all men. There are a lot of men who are selective with who they spend their time, resources, and body with. There are a lot of relationship minded/marriage minded men. They just more low key which makes it seem like all that's around are those dudes who wanna fukk around and be messy. I hate to make it a black men thing, but I'm only experienced with black men, I just feel like it's encouraged for them to be reckless and fukk around. So if you're not, people think you're suspect. Just gotta be very selective as a woman with who you let into your life. If one girl don't give you the draws, they be like "fukk that, get you a roster in the mean time". Don't be afraid to just turn somebody down because your time is valuable. I'm very rude, maybe it's a New York thing, but I've never been afraid to roll my eyes or not even acknowledge somebody's existence. My time is too valuable for that. The first time impression is the last impression with me. You try to say that come chill bullshyt to me, I'm walking away. Period. Hold out until you find some worth it because a lot of dudes these days, since it's so acceptable, have short attention spans. They could be talking about all the time they'd like to spend with you, but actions speak louder than words. He could be saying that shyt to seven other bytches in his phone.

 

[Blackout]

If your scared then date a black nerd. You chances of being used for sex will be WAY lower.

I have the male version of that fear of going with a woman that will make my life hell. I have a few friends who had some nasty divorces so I watched and learned from their mistakes.

Personality > Looks

 

[miranda]

I'm on lipstick alley sometimes and when I go to relationship alley there are threads upon threads of black women being warned about "chilling" at a guys house. They all warn about how you will be used for sex and if you go over there you ain't shyt (but have a baby by Future and they will rally around you like a some earth mother).

There just seems to be this prevailing belief that all black women must protect themselves against being used for sex.

Now I'm not naive. I know some dudes are bummy broke and just want to get laid but is there ever any chance of genuinessness emanating from a black man and his romantic intentions?

I personally believe that black women have been traumatised by dating black men. All the optimism, fun, specialness, happiness and joy of a new relationship has been sucked out of them.

I don't think I have ever heard most of them speak positively about dating. It's like there is never a honeymoon period only a cessation of combat.

The gender war has surely ruined dating for black women.

Maybe they should date white men to get that hopefulness and optimism back.

If a man who just met me asks me to chill, I already know what it is and he gets the " oh I thought we were going to go on a date, no thank you, but it was nice meeting you" text and then DNA- do not answer- put in front of his name in my phone.

Some White men are also on that "let's just chill at my house" thing with their women. I just think a much larger percentage of white men are looking for a real relationship, just not with black women. Most white men are only approaching us for sexual exploration. And they are just not sexually attractive. Cute or handsome, yes, but do you really want them fukking you? Yuck.

 

[GPBear]

Nation of Islam, 85% are blind, 10% are trying to get over on the blind, and 5% are trying to do the right thing. Doesn't matter if you date black men, white women, politicians, businesspeople, police officers, teachers, most of them are either or

you can choose to hang out only with the elite 5%, but the meek shall inherit the earth so you might as well try and fuqqs with them