Anybody ever felt their parent held them back?

[KplusK]

For some reason i find myself reflecting on my childhood more often than i have been. My childhood was good nuttin to brag about but for some reason im living life now and thinking back about all different scenarios that could've happen if my parents wouldve made better decisions for me lol as a kid im talking like i couldve got skipped grades in elementary school but moms said no im looking back thinking now like why wouldnt you do that. Another thing is i was nice at the sax in 5th and 6th grade but when i got to 7th my moms got pregnant and i had to stop playing the sax cause i couldnt practice at home, I even practice outside but even that was too loud for the new baby. Now im not bitter bout shyt but i just think back what if. I couldve been nice at the sax word or skipped that grade and kept skipping....lost potential.

 

[Address_Unknown]

I honestly think I would have been farther along in life had my father played his role and be a provider even if he would never bring home the Lion's share of the household income due to my mom holding the family down with a nice job and all while he worked a trade.

Now while my mom bought to spoil me a bit when I was an only child and buy me shyt, he'd always be there to seize said gifts on a random whim as punishment for minor infractions or school grades he felt we're never up to par despite him doing little to nothing in terms of helping a brother in his academic career in any shape or form short of cursings and the occasional beating followed by some outlandish punishment.

Sorta shyt motivated me to become a hustler and buy my own shyt as a teenager and when I became an adult and started getting cheeks, shyt had me putting money on the side for my future seeds so they ain't got to worry about college like I had to growing up cause I know my Dad wasn't about shyt and Mah dukes had to hold the family down and couldn't spare it trying to put me through since she had two more kids and a mortgage to deal with dolo.

Now while I can't lay blame for whatever I am now due to his lack of invovlement providing and what's not, I just know the same won't happen to my seeds since I'd have nothing but love, currency and respect for 'em as they navigate this already tough world as Black Youths'n'shyt. That shyt ends with me and that's on everything.

 

[Afro]

Yes.

Dad wasn't around and Mom paid people to listen to me

Starting life from the negatives

 

[Rollo Goodlove]

Yes myou parents didn't know wtf they was doing

 

[Amerikan Melanin]

100%

My mom raised me in a super religious household. No girls no partying. Didn’t prepare me for college or entrepreneurship. Just get a job and dedicate myself to the lord. Fools gold.

Thank god for the internet.

 

[Saint1]

Yeah. But even with the delay I'm a grown adult that realizes it so I gotta make the most out of the time i have left.

 

[ImmaGetJoeClarkArrested]

The book four agreements touches on this....all of us are victims of lives that are presented to us by our parents....but how long are we going to cry about it before taking control and changing our own lives

 

[BaggerofTea]

Your life is your own, take it and own it

 

[EndDomination]

Was raised really religious, and didn't develop a social life until later than I should have.
Didn't pick up healthy social life-work life balance from my parents, and that cost me a hell of a lot in terms of relationships, luckily I've been working to remedy that.
Also wish my parents had gone a bit harder with pushing grades, I slacked and slid by with slightly-above mediocre grades because they didn't go hard in that area, I could have easily been in an even better position than I am now if they'd just pushed more in those areas and not made me feel weird about socializing more.

 

[TheDarkCloud]

Yep. And the older I get, the more I hate my mother for it everyday.

I sacrificed a lot staying at home to help her as a single mom when I should have been out pursuing my dreams and following my heart. So many opportunities passed me by because she guilt tripped me into not doing what I wanted to do. I’d be so much further if my dad was around and didn’t live four hours ago.

 

[AJtheOne]

Yes but I learned to live wit it, move on and make the best out of my situation.

Everything happens for a reason, some things are meant to happen, some things aren't meant to happen. Everything you go through while growing up shapes you into the adult that you become.

Use that shyt as motivation to reach your goals. Make sure that you learn from your parents mistakes and make sure you don't make those same mistakes with your own kids.

I ain't gonna lie, some times I find myself thinking about how I was held back by my parents too. But I realized awhile ago, that you can't think about the past too much. When you live in the past, you can't move forward. Life is all about moving forward.

 

[At30wecashout]

Only in that I was never given leeway to take risks in life. Had sisters to look after so I was not in a position to experiment or get into new shyt that often.

That and encouraging me to keep stupid ass jobs just so I had one. I should have been doing my job hop shyt when I was younger, rather than now.

 

[KplusK]

Yes but I learned to live wit it, move on and make the best out of my situation.

Everything happens for a reason, some things are meant to happen, some things aren't meant to happen. Everything you go through while growing up shapes you into the adult that you become.

Use that shyt as motivation to reach your goals. Make sure that you learn from your parents mistakes and make sure you don't make those same mistakes with your own kids.

I ain't gonna lie, some times I find myself thinking about how I was held back by my parents too. But I realized awhile ago, that you can't think about the past too much. When you live in the past, you can't move forward. Life is all about moving forward.

I dig it and that exactly what i do but cabt help to think what if and im not stuck there cause thats another thing my moms taught me "get over that shyt" her words exactly so i do and live happily now

 

[tater]

Yep. And the older I get, the more I hate my mother for it everyday.

I sacrificed a lot staying at home to help her as a single mom when I should have been out pursuing my dreams and following my heart. So many opportunities passed me by because she guilt tripped me into not doing what I wanted to do. I’d be so much further if my dad was around and didn’t live four hours ago.

I don't want to make this into a gender war thread, but I always wonder when people say they hate their parents (save for people in abusive households). Why do you hate your mother and don't have these same feelings for your father? You said he only lived four hours away, he could have come and gave you the guidance you sought as a man. You made the sacrifices he should have made, yet you're mad at her?

Anyhoo...

I feel like my mother allowed me to quit a lot of things because it was hard or I didn't like it. To this day, when I'm uninterested in something or it's difficult I shy away from it. It's something I am trying to overcome (even at this very moment lol). I also wish my mom would have pushed me a bit more academically. I definitely had the ability and she used to ride my ass, but once I got to HS she let up. I coasted by with very minimal effort and I feel like skating by has become a thing for me. Things usually come easy to me and when they don't, I just get lazy. I've really had to get out of that mindset.

 

[NotAnFBIagent]

Yeah with these mentally unstable genetics I inherited