Almost freaking died last night brehs, and whooped a deer's ass(long read)

[Mr. Negative]

.

 

[Bubba T]

The OP sure does make some elaborate ducktales.

Please explain how an animal with HOOVES manages to grab your throat and attempt to choke you out

 

[Marci-Senpai]

6/10

 

[Obreh Winfrey]

nope, i came out on top. guess you would've just laid there as he took your life?

I ain't gotta fondle the deer to beat the brakes off him

 

[75 Others]

The OP sure does make some elaborate ducktales.

At least know the anatomy of the animal in question for your to stick.


He might as well have said he was getting outboxed by a shark while he was swimming

 

[thewarrior05]

Brehs, i had been driving through the countryside in that Civic. This was after midnight and there wasn't anyone else around for miles. Went down this dark-ass road and all of a sudden, a grown deer tried to test the Civic and failed. It was weird because i seen the shyt in like slow motion. i was coming down a hill and saw this dude trying to work himself up to run cross the road. I even remember saying out loud, 'don't try it, i have the high ground.' This mufukka went through the gotdamn windshield, fukking up all my shyt brehs. After a moment or two of shock, i got out the car and went around there.

His mouth was kind of movin, kind of like when you see dying dudes in movies who are trying to say their last words. I felt it was kind of a divine moment and i leaned down to his face. Looking back, don't really know why i did that shyt because as we all know, most animals cannot speak. But tell me why, when i got down there, this mufukka shot halfway up and wrapped his hands around my throat brehs. I quickly assumed full mount and there was a lot of anger in his grip, though his guard was weak. Broke his choke and told him to 'be cool man.' Truthfully, in that dark place, with such a bloodthirsty opponent, my voice had cracked just a little before the fire of manhood returned.

But no sooner had i broken it, when dude got me off his ass. In the scuffle, i felt every bit of his strength brehs. There is definitely a difference between a wild deer and a domesticated one. Not going to even lie, he tested me that night and had it been anyone else save Mowgli, this story would have ended differently. I felt everything going black beneath his onslaught cause i was using all my blood for my arms trying to block his ground and pound and there wasn't none left for my brain or my lungs. It was the end brehs, but it was then that that cd in the Civic went to the next track and the Thriller instrumental came on. Don't know how it happened, but it gave me a surge of energy.

Slowly brehs, i worked my legs through his front limbs, which were striking a million blows a minute. He drew close and i gave one senpukku chop which destroyed every nerve in one of his arms. Lucky that mufukka didn't disintegrate cause you know i came with complete power since i was on my back, no homo. Got both legs up around his neck while simultaneously grabbing the flaccid arm. It was at this moment that he knew he'd fukked up, but it was too late. Sinched that triangle in on his ass brehs and he went night night. I did a MJ yell, the one where he goes 'aaaaaaaaaah!' and Laid there for like five minutes with adrenaline flowing. Like i said, i know i have whooped all kinds of animal's asses as ya'll know, but feel like this one was the most worthy opponent. Bout to sell his ass on craigslist and see if i can't rob one of these hillbillies, get a giftcard or a carjack or something. Ya'll be safe out there. Discuss.

 

[O.T.I.S.]

6/10

 

[damaddwebba]

Deer don't have hands and when driving and you see a deer turn your lights off as they freeze when you shine a light on them in the dark.

 

[smoove157]

Looking back, don't really know why i did that shyt because as we all know, most animals cannot speak. .

 

[CarbonBraddock]

Please explain how an animal with HOOVES manages to grab your throat and attempt to choke you out

we were in close vicinity to one another, any more questions?

 

[CarbonBraddock]

Deer don't have hands and when driving and you see a deer turn your lights off as they freeze when you shine a light on them in the dark.

man shut the fukk up, i know what they got, i whooped one's ass last night or can you not read?

 

[TEH]

You had mercy on him... should have cracked his skull open when his head was through the glass ... by the way use some of the hide to get some deer skin shoes

 

[Zombi_Jeezus]

"Don't try it, I have the high ground"

Smh @ the deer for not knowing basic military tactics.


You're lucky it wasn't mating season so the deer wasnt in its final form.

 

[flea]

That was fukking corny

 

[Diondon]

This nikka

 

[mannyrs13]