Essential Quick gems for dealing with men thread :lolbron:
- Thread starter Raava
- Start date
NoirDynosaur
Yurrrrrrrrrr
If a man is not capable of being decisive, leading or assertive, you’re wasting your time
Yinny
Biracial a little bit
Don’t deal with passive aggressive or emotional impulsive men. They’re exhausting.
A lot of dudes who have nothing of substance to offer rely on emotional manipulation and prey on ur human desire for communion. Many dudes have an arsenal of shaming and fear tactics to employ as deflections and distractions. They want you to feel beneath them and distract from what they don’t bring to the table.
Here’s a couple of shaming tactics some dudes use to emotionally manipulate chicks.
1.) Accusing you of not caring. This is a form of emotional manipulation some dudes use to make women more sexually accessible. When u hear dudes tell other dudes shyt like “if she don’t wanna fukk u on the first date, she not into you,” that’s b/c they are trying to create/reinforce a culture where women feel obligated to use immediate sex as a demonstration of love and affection. Meanwhile, we as women know there are a myriad of reasons why u might not want a strange dikk in u immediately, first and foremost being ur health and safety. No shame to anybody who does move a bit faster than others, but NEVER feel pressured to do ANYTHING you aren’t ready to do. If he tries that, the correct answer is
“You right. I guess I don’t care.” And KIM.
Non-examples include thinking “omg, he will think I’m not into him if I don’t...”
2.) Fear of being alone. You may notice a lot of threads on male forums fantasizing about women being miserable, lonely and unhappy. That’s b/c men have to feel needed. There is nothing wrong with that, but taken to extremes or coupled with a chronic lack of sex or affection and it becomes pathological. They begin to need women to be a problem so they can be the answer. So a lot of men try to play up the fear that if u don’t put up with his nonsense in that very moment, u will never find love every again and u will be unhappy for the rest of ur life. Dudes be legit salivating over reject porn fantasies of chicks that didn’t want them becoming life failures in the future. Don’t allow anybody to scare u into shyt based off the fear of being single. Ur happiness trumps any other condition and only u can determine that. No one else.
3.) Insulting your appearance- When start getting backed into a logic corner, brace for ad hominem attacks.
4.) Insulting your femininity-See number 3
5.) Claiming ur life will be unbearable or miserable without them-See number 2
6.) Acting like other women are better or like u are the only one asking for what u need.- The “nagging paradox”. A lot of dudes pretend u are being unreasonable for completely legitimate standards like love and affection and claim u are needy or insecure or nagging them. Really, they just don’t like or care about u in these situations.
7.) Isolation and separation-Some dudes try to isolate u from ur family and friends to make u more compliant to their desires. If u have a good, loving positive circle of friends and family, and he doesn’t want u to interact with them, he is trying to make power moves to control you.
8.) Fukking up and blaming you-Pure psychological warfare. Cheating but blaming ur sex game. Claiming everything stupid and horrible he does is somehow ur fault. “Well if u woulda done this or that?” Make him own his fukk ups. Never be another human beings’ punching bag.
9.) Slut shaming both ways- Trying to get u to have sex when u don’t want to. Claiming that you gotta do shyt with him if you have done it in the past. Calling u a whore if u do have sex. Navigating Male inconsistencies and unhealthy approaches to female sexuality is exhausting and even THEY don’t know what they want. You will drive urself crazy trying to play by their rules. The only thing u need to do is be emotionally and mentally sound when u make sexual decisions, avoid putting urself in risky situations, take responsibility for ur reproductive health and enjoy urself. If u wanna be a virgin do that. If u need to explore urself and ur sexuality, be safe and do that as well. And trying something in the past does NOT make u obligated to do ANYTHING u don’t want to do in the future. Seriously, what kinda fukked up logic is that. If a man bought a girl a car in the past, does he have to do that for every chick he gets with in the future?! Don’t play those reindeer games.
10.) Being hypercritical of everything you do to wear u down mentally or gradually lower self-esteem or what they call “keeping their foot on your neck”
This can be really harmful b/c a lot women internalize criticism. Nobody in this world is more valuable or better than u. Ain’t NOBODY God. Don’t EVER allow some dusty mofo to make u feel unsure about who u are. If u that bad, then why the fukk they still wit you? Kick that motherfukker to the curb.
11.) Trying to convince u that their abuse is in your best interest.
This is so irritating. These types don’t give a damn about you. You are a vessel for their cum that they don’t even want to raise with you when they are doing the shyt in number 10 and then turning around and trying to act like making u feel like shyt is good for you.
God said the highest form of love is to treat others the way YOU want to be treated. Any man doing foul shyt to u that YOU know he wouldn’t or couldn’t tolerate for himself ain’t got no love for u in his heart.
Father figures make their daughters aware of these games so their children won’t be prey in these streets. Take heed.
Great points!
Ionno why I’m fussing with the men in TLR cuz they won’t ever understand this crap from a woman’s perspective.
So, I just found this lady on YT and she literally describes what I was trying to explain in that thread about Simone:
She’s a little OD but it’s the same standard old school advice you get from your family.
______________________________
I guess my “gem”: I’ve learned not to give too many dudes the benefit of the doubt, especially if they aren’t socially awkward/lame. Dudes with a little game and some personality know exactly what they are doing and are usually testing you to see what they can get away with.
If something seems too good to be true or you feel like you’re being gaslit, you probably are.
So, I just found this lady on YT and she literally describes what I was trying to explain in that thread about Simone:
She’s a little OD but it’s the same standard old school advice you get from your family.
______________________________
I guess my “gem”: I’ve learned not to give too many dudes the benefit of the doubt, especially if they aren’t socially awkward/lame. Dudes with a little game and some personality know exactly what they are doing and are usually testing you to see what they can get away with.
If something seems too good to be true or you feel like you’re being gaslit, you probably are.
^^And this is why you follow the old school rule of not chasing men
These two right here go a long way, especially for us unattractive & forgotten brehs
These two right here go a long way, especially for us unattractive & forgotten brehs
Aww. I'm happy that you know a couple of ways to your heart, and I'm sorry that you feel unattractive and overlooked.
I hope that you meet a woman who will value you and make you feel wanted. Please do the same when you find her.
Wishing love and happiness to you.
Thank you so much for this, definitely needed to hear see this.Aww. I'm happy that you know a couple of ways to your heart, and I'm sorry that you feel unattractive and overlooked.
I hope that you meet a woman who will value you and make you feel wanted. Please do the same when you find her.
Wishing love and happiness to you.