Would you give unwanted advise to a friend

[dc007]

I have a friend who I have known since we were in 4th grade. He is basically like a brother to me.

He consistently makes bad dating choices but I usually don't say much because it don't look like they going to last. For example, this one chick he ended it with (white girl, he simps for them apparently) tried to have sex with another one of our friends but in his mind she only did that because it ended badly and he regrets that instead of seeing her for the trife hoe that she is.

Well now he is dating another chick (who is white as well) and he has completely fallen for. They just met in April, they stopped using condoms like 2 or 3 weeks after meeting, she is not on BC, and he told me he doesn't always pull out. He told me he thinks she is the one and says he wants to move her into his house in a few months and start planning for their engagement. When i questioned why so soon he told me he was almost 30 and don't want to be old running around after kids.

This just seems like a bad idea, she basically has nothing going for herself, he told me she was a drug addict (but I think its just weed everyday and pills occasionally), and basically all her friends are like her and just end up getting pregnant by guys who are the same as them. He has a good career and makes good money. She seems like a nice girl i guess but its only been a few months so who knows.

So, if any of you was in this situation, would you tell him why you think its a bad idea to move so fast with this girl or just let it play out and hope it ends up like he is hoping it does?

 

[Brofato]

fukk the girl, sounds like he's a lost person himself, friend. Personally, I would not be in that situation because I would not be that person.

 

[Mr. Pink]

The worst vice is advice.

Personally I wouldn't do it. To continue the vice analogy, people like your friend are like heroin addicts. You can't begin to help them until they hit rock bottom. I used to try and do it but it always caused resentment and I would end up being the a$$hole even though I was only trying to help. Now I just nod and mentally roll my eyes, lol.

I know it's sad seeing a close friend degraded like that but you just have to accept that he's an adult and is ultimately responsible for his suffering.

 

[Tunez]

Let it play out

 

[Dwolf]

Don't give advice to anyone because they won't take it. Let them drown.

 

[dc007]

The worst vice is advice.

Personally I wouldn't do it. To continue the vice analogy, people like your friend are like heroin addicts. You can't begin to help them until they hit rock bottom. I used to try and do it but it always caused resentment and I would end up being the @sshole even though I was only trying to help. Now I just nod and mentally roll my eyes, lol.

I know it's sad seeing a close friend degraded like that but you just have to accept that he's an adult and is ultimately responsible for his suffering.

Maybe you are right, but I just want to smack this guy upside the head and ask him wtf is wrong with him. Its hard to sit here and not say anything when if he is wrong about her, his life is basically fukked.

 

[The Guru]

Yes i would. It might help it might not, but not giving advice won't do good at all.

 

[Raava]

If you tell him and he doesn't listen, at least you did your part as a friend. If you say nothing, what kind of friend are you?

My experience has been, even when they don't want to hear it, 9/10 they come back and say you were right thank you for trying to tell me. Even after they had to learn the hard way.