Women have too much influence on Black masculinity

[The Wolf Among You]

And Black American men will never develop a healthier sense of self until we take them out of the equation.
I’m not saying we as men don’t have toxic beliefs nor am I saying we didn’t foster and originate some of these toxic ideas, but there is currently too much noise surrounding these conversations to leave it the way it is now.
This is not a bash Black women thread.
This is a Black men taking responsibility and accountability for the betterment of ourselves and our futures.
It is partly our fault as a collective that productive Black men are seen in an unflattering light because of comparison to a caricature that we(no not you personally) have helped popularize, and that’s precisely why change starts with us and only us.

 

[Who Not How]

A big problem I see on social media is Black men debating Black women about manhood like they know what being a man is all about. You are telling her that she is on your level and her opinion holds more weight to you than your own damn opinion. Stop discussing topics about manhood with women and things will get better. Acknowledgment is encouragement. You are indirectly telling her that if she gets you riled up, you will entertain her with conversation.

Going back and forth with women just gives them energy and the attention they crave. They get stronger as the debate goes on like a Super Saiyan while you get drained out of your energy. Yall don't understand they really love this gender war shyt, it's fun to them. They finally feel equal to you when you converse with them like men. Modern men are no more "toxic" than modern women. I don't even like that term, never heard a man use it in real life.

 

[Chrishaune]

Get your passports

 

[The Wolf Among You]

A big problem I see on social media is Black men debating Black women about manhood like they know what being a man is all about. You are telling her that she is on your level and her opinion holds more weight to you than your own damn opinion. Stop discussing topics about manhood with women and things will get better. Acknowledgment is encouragement. You are indirectly telling her that if she gets you riled up, you will entertain her with conversation.

Going back and forth with women just gives them energy and the attention they crave. They get stronger as the debate goes on like a Super Saiyan while you get drained out of your energy. Yall don't understand they really love this gender war shyt, it's fun to them. They finally feel equal to you when you converse with them like men. Modern men are no more "toxic" than modern women. I don't even like that term, never heard a man use it in real life.

I agree to an extent. My angle is not men being above women or vice-versa but for Black men to take control of our humanity.
I 100% agree that a woman has no weight in the discussion of manhood just as a man has no weight in the discussion of womanhood.

 

[The Wolf Among You]

Get your passports

I don’t think that’s necessary.
We have all we need right here, and it’s us.

 

[Chrishaune]

I don’t think that’s necessary.
We have all we need right here, and it’s us.

Aiight, you do that

 

[Who Not How]

I agree to an extent. My angle is not men being above women or vice-versa but for Black men to take control of our humanity.
I 100% agree that a woman has no weight in the discussion of manhood just as a man has no weight in the discussion of womanhood.

We gotta get male leadership back into the community imo. A lot of this traces back to the high single motherhood rate. Boys are being raised by single mothers with no strong male role model in their life. It doesn't have to be the father, it could be an uncle or grandfather but a Black boy needs to see a man being a man in order to become a man.

In a single mother household, the boy sees how his mother handles life situations in an emotional manner because she struggling - we all know raising kids is not easy. He will believe that's how he should respond to his problems because a child can only mimic what he sees.

When he grows up, he reacts emotionally and we know that's not how men should respond to adversity so I understand where you get the toxic term from but that's not real manhood. Real manhood is not toxic. It's strict, it has rules, it doesn't accept BS from women but it's not toxic. It's how we built civilizations and provided for our families. We definitely need to get back to that but modern society is fighting against real manhood.

 

[The Wolf Among You]

We gotta get male leadership back into the community imo. A lot of this traces back to the high single motherhood rate. Boys are being raised by single mothers with no strong male role model in their life. It doesn't have to be the father, it could be an uncle or grandfather but a Black boy needs to see a man being a man in order to become a man.

In a single mother household, the boy sees how his mother handles life situations in an emotional manner because she struggling - we all know raising kids is not easy. He will believe that's how he should respond to his problems because a child can only mimic what he sees.

When he grows up, he reacts emotionally and we know that's not how men should respond to adversity so I understand where you get the toxic term from but that's not real manhood. Real manhood is not toxic. It's strict, it has rules, it doesn't accept BS from women but it's not toxic. It's how we built civilizations and provided for our families. We definitely need to get back to that but modern society is fighting against real manhood.

Like most words the internet can twist it to be meaningless or personal agenda driven, so I can somewhat understand your apprehension to the word “toxic”.
But when I say toxic I am referring to bad behavior in general, ideas that don’t help but hinder us from being our healthiest selves.

 

[Roid Jones]

I don't agree with 'taking black women out of the equation' but yes a lot of black men are very bound to auntie, big mama and mama

 

[get these nets]

OP

Seek professional mental health resources.

 

[Cornershooter]

Thank you op I agree 100% and I think it’s a big issues we as Black men have

We just allow it to fester then get mad when we feel disrespected for the millionth time

 

[Roid Jones]

I agree to an extent. My angle is not men being above women or vice-versa but for Black men to take control of our humanity.
I 100% agree that a woman has no weight in the discussion of manhood just as a man has no weight in the discussion of womanhood.

Absolute facts

 

[Cornershooter]

OP

Seek professional mental health resources.

Why what did op say that makes you believe that he needs that? Can black men not think for themself ?

 

[get these nets]

Why what did op say that makes you believe that he needs that? Can black men not think for themself ?

He seems to have taken a celebrity story about an actor and a blogger and extrapolated that into commentary about an entire community of people. The opposite of "thinking for yourself".

 

[The Wolf Among You]

I don't agree with 'taking black women out of the equation' but yes a lot of black men are very bound to auntie, big mama and mama

Why not?

OP

Seek professional mental health resources.

I thought I laid out a coherent point, and I didn’t say anything disrespectful.