Women as Primary Breadwinners

[Michael9100]

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

I wrote down the below as I was listening. Didn't think I would listen to the whole thing but it was a decent perspective and interesting talk. thanks for sharing.

In addition to the below I have to say, I intend to have my own money but I'm not sure I want to be the breadwinner


Observations from talk:
Women have always been able to own their own property and earnings in Islam

Not my culture. The wife of the prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was rich and much richer than he was.

That said, hearing the logic and arguments laid out in the editorial that was arguing against women having property rights is fascinating. "If women have their own money what's to stop them from going out and doing whatever they please"


She's also questioning whether men need to be the breadwinners or providers in order to be stable in their behaviour.... Don't know about that.

In the future wives and mothers will out earn their male partners.

Women think of the extra money as "my money" more so than males. Makes sense. Again in Islam a wife's money is her money. The husband is responsible for providing financially for his family/household. Clearly any reasonable woman would contribute where needed but in Islam if she does so it's considered a charity from her.

Edited: to clarify that part of the husband's responsibility in Islam is to provide financially (not to be confused with accounting/managing the finances) which can be done by either.

 

[Yo Mama]

Put cliff notes @Michael9100

 

[L. Murphy]

Too long lol lost my attention

 

[Giselle]

Didn't watch the video.

Just came to say that I would NEVER be the primary breadwinner in any of my relationships.

Imo, it isn't cute/masculine for a man to make much less than the woman he is with.

Plus, I have seen it before, up close and personal and it was a disaster.

 

[Ms.CuriousCat]

Imo, it isn't cute/masculine for a man to make much less than the woman he is with.

What she's saying is that you have more women going to uni. Usually because of parents or society pushing them to be self-sufficient. However whereas this push for women has increased through the years plenty of young boys may have had the (internal) push to start working and contribute/provide early on instead. Going to college and then grad school puts a perceived unnecessary delay on earning.

What this means is more women have higher academic achievement and therefore secure the better jobs and earn more than the males who may have focused on money too soon without getting themselves into a higher earner bracket first.

Therefore today in the marriage/relationship market you have an over supply of educated, higher earning females and not enough educated, high earning males to go around. As such as a woman you have a choice to make and it so happens that there is a growing trend where these women marry or are in a relationship with men who don't make as much as them. She highlighted long-term relationships where the couple just had the two aforementioned trajectories. Hence, women as primary breadwinners. To avoid this fate she said some women travel further to find mates though she seemed to suggest that they were fighting the inevitable.

The video goes into more detail but that's the gist of the argument.

The rest of the talk discussed the benefits and pitfalls of breadwinner status and gives suggestions. She also keeps reminding the audience how far women have come in the West and seems to suggest that there is a privilege of the perceived problem. One interesting pitfall discussed is that women view their money as their money i.e money belongs to her and not to the couple/family unit whereas men have been less likely to think this way and would just have delivered their paycheck to the wife to manage. In contrast a female breadwinner might feel resentful of a partner spending "her" money.

The author suggests that women need a shift in perspective. To start viewing themselves as breadwinners. (It's not just your money)... This is what feminism and women rights have been fighting for...

 

[#1 pick]

What she's saying is that you have more women going to uni. Usually because of parents or society pushing them to be self-sufficient. However whereas this push for women has increased through the years plenty of young boys may have had the (internal) push to start working and contribute/provide early on instead. Going to college and then grad school puts a perceived unnecessary delay on earning.

What this means is more women have higher academic achievement and therefore secure the better jobs and earn more than the males who may have focused on money too soon without getting themselves into a higher earner bracket first.

Therefore today in the marriage/relationship market you have an over supply of educated, higher earning females and not enough educated, high earning males to go around. As such as a woman you have a choice to make and it so happens that there is a growing trend where these women marry or are in a relationship with men who don't make as much as them. She highlighted long-term relationships where the couple just had the two aforementioned trajectories. Hence, women as primary breadwinners. To avoid this fate she said some women travel further to find mates though she seemed to suggest that they were fighting the inevitable.

The video goes into more detail but that's the gist of the argument.

The rest of the talk discussed the benefits and pitfalls of breadwinner status and gives suggestions. She also keeps reminding the audience how far women have come in the West and seems to suggest that there is a privilege of the perceived problem. One interesting pitfall discussed is that women view their money as their money i.e money belongs to her and not to the couple/family unit whereas men have been less likely to think this way and would just have delivered their paycheck to the wife to manage. In contrast a female breadwinner might feel resentful of a partner spending "her" money.

The author suggests that women need a shift in perspective. To start viewing themselves as breadwinners. (It's not just your money)... This is what feminism and women rights have been fighting for...

Or you can get with a higher paying woman who demands you get to a competitive point which benefits the family like most do

 

[MeachTheMonster]

What she's saying is that you have more women going to uni. Usually because of parents or society pushing them to be self-sufficient. However whereas this push for women has increased through the years plenty of young boys may have had the (internal) push to start working and contribute/provide early on instead. Going to college and then grad school puts a perceived unnecessary delay on earning.

What this means is more women have higher academic achievement and therefore secure the better jobs and earn more than the males who may have focused on money too soon without getting themselves into a higher earner bracket first.

Therefore today in the marriage/relationship market you have an over supply of educated, higher earning females and not enough educated, high earning males to go around. As such as a woman you have a choice to make and it so happens that there is a growing trend where these women marry or are in a relationship with men who don't make as much as them. She highlighted long-term relationships where the couple just had the two aforementioned trajectories. Hence, women as primary breadwinners. To avoid this fate she said some women travel further to find mates though she seemed to suggest that they were fighting the inevitable.

The video goes into more detail but that's the gist of the argument.

The rest of the talk discussed the benefits and pitfalls of breadwinner status and gives suggestions. She also keeps reminding the audience how far women have come in the West and seems to suggest that there is a privilege of the perceived problem. One interesting pitfall discussed is that women view their money as their money i.e money belongs to her and not to the couple/family unit whereas men have been less likely to think this way and would just have delivered their paycheck to the wife to manage. In contrast a female breadwinner might feel resentful of a partner spending "her" money.

The author suggests that women need a shift in perspective. To start viewing themselves as breadwinners. (It's not just your money)... This is what feminism and women rights have been fighting for...

This describes my wife and I.

We been together since highschool. She got pregnant, so I got on the fast track to an associates degree to support us, since then she got her masters and makes more than me now.

It works for us. We both respect and support each other's rolls.

 

[*Angel*]

I wouldn't mind making more than my partner, but that doesn't mean I have to be the bread winner. He can still provide while my income goes to retirements, repairs, remodeling, traveling, businesses, etc. Im not big on financial role play as much I am having a selfless, loyal partnership. All income comes to one household and as long as we remain honest, I don't care how its divided as long as we are both taken care of.