What would you do if you knew your child was going to be mentally disabled?

[Mandarin Duck]

Before there's any confusion I'm a guy I'm just posting this in the Salon because I actually wanted some serious answers.

I recently went to a conference for children with a rare mental disorder and it really touched my heart.

I met a lot of parents of children who have mental disabilities and I can honestly say it completely changed my perspective on having and raising children.

I met a few parents who knew their children were going to be mentally disabled before birth and prior to them being too far along to terminate the pregnancy but still opted to have their children.

I met this black woman who was well into her 60's and had a daughter in her 40's who she was still taking care of completely on her own. It really made me want to cry.

I've met some pretty shytty parents in my lifetime and I can honestly say nobody truely loves their children the way parents of the mentally handicapped do.

So my question to the women of the Coli is, if you knew your child had a high probability of being mentally disabled would you terminate the pregnancy?

Having children without a mental disability is already a huge sacrifice on your life, but having a child you know you are going to have to take care of the rest of their life seems like something that can be overwhelming for me to even fathom.

 

[MsReal]

I already have two children and look forward to them being more independent.

Honestly I don't think I would be able to cope with a mentally disabled child. It would send me over the edge.

 

[Mandarin Duck]

I already have two children and look forward to them being more independent.

Honestly I don't think I would be able to cope with a mentally disabled child. It would send me over the edge.

Seeing that shyt really touched my soul.
I don't have any type of patience with kids period let alone a mentally disabled child.

 

[KwamePiesie]

we would not have it #colifatha

 

[Mandarin Duck]

we would not have it #colifatha

Why not?

 

[KwamePiesie]

Why not?

first let me say this the almighty blessed us with two healthy pregnancies.
i cant speak for soon to be parents who endure any form of fertility problems and im going to be very frank..

for selfish reasons..

tho i think we are the best parents in the world and actually would be perfectly fit to raise a mentally disabled child
honestly i dont see myself taking care of my child at the age of 60.. i just dont..

 

[The Mad Titan]

Our generation is much more selfish, fast paced, and have many more options than previously.


Or so we all think.



I respect parents so much, especially good ones. But ones that take care of mentally disabled children with 100 percent love.


That takes an amazing soul.

 

[tater]

I would terminate the pregnancy. When having kids, I expect them to be independent at some point in time. I don't want to take care of an adult with a child like mind for the rest of my life. My grandma has a friend whose daughter has cerebral palsy. She's at the age where she's worrying who's going to take care of her child. She already said the sister said no, she has too many kids. What will happen to the girl? Where will she end up?

 

[KinksandCoils]

I'd want to terminate but my conscience wouldn't let me

 

[SheWantTheD]

I would opt not to terminate but that's definitely no easy decision. I truly value those parents that raise mentally disabled children. Some girl's video I've watched on YouTube.. her white mother adopted her and her little sister. The girl herself is missing a hand on one arm, and a hand a little bit of an arm on the other. And her sister has several disabilities.

For me even if I didn't know the child would come out disabled in any shape or form, I would never abandon them. Never been that type of person.

 

[DonnaBella]

I have three sons and my oldest is autistic. I wouldn't trade him for nothing. He is such a blessing. I remember hearing from his daycare provider that he may be autistic and I cried because I didn't understand what it was. The blessing comes from knowing there are many programs to help him, he is independent and doesn't care what others think of him, and his two younger brothers know he is different and they .I've him just the same and take up for him. He learns from them. One thing we are not worried about is him being taken care of because we have so much family that help us and plus his brothers too. And I mean that if something happens to me or his father. He is willing to learn and if he don't know u he won't fool with u. Being there for all of my sons make me a proud mother especially the more my son excels and learn

 

[Rawtid]

If it was early enough in my term, I would abort. If it's too late, I would arrange a nice adoption. I don't have the patience or support to deal with a mentally disabled child, but I can only look at it as my life stands now.

 

[Tenchi Ryu]

Yea its rough, my older cousin is mentally challenged and he's about to be 40 this year. He stays with these people in California that are good with mentally challenged and gives them a place where they can work and try to be as independent as possible. My grandmother doesn't agree with it but its not that simple, you have to have the mental fortitude for that and realize you're basically taking care of a child for life. An actual child, not your child who'll grow up and become an adult.

 

[The5thLetter]

If it was early enough in my term, I would abort. If it's too late, I would arrange a nice adoption. I don't have the patience or support to deal with a mentally disabled child, but I can only look at it as my life stands now.

I feel the same way.
Here are my 2 reasons for either aborting or adoption: 1 I wouldn't want that burden on me for the rest of my life (selfish, but realistic). And 2, and most importantly I would always worry about abuse or inadequate care if something were to happen to me and/or the father. It's easy to say you'd do everything you need to do for the kid as you're fairly young. But what about when you can't be there, fall ill, or just get old? What about when you die, what will become of the kid?

 

[Giselle]

So my question to the women of the Coli is, if you knew your child had a high probability of being mentally disabled would you terminate the pregnancy?

It depends on what the disability is.

If it affects them physically (ex. missing leg or something and can't do things on their own) or if it's down syndrome, then yes. If its like, autisim or something, then probably not.