When you meet someone do they have to already have themselves together or are you willing to wait for someone actively progressing towards a better future? Brehs please feel free to chime in with your opinion on either side as the man or dating the girl.
Wait Around For The Come Up?
- Thread starter DanniC
- Start date
As of right now, I'm definitely willing to wait. I'm in my last year of college and I'm going to be job hunting next summer and after I get a job, I'm going to be settling down, getting my own place, etc. I will say if my man doesn't have something going for him and isn't trying by the time I've got myself together then I'll have to let him go. No use in staying with someone who isn't at least trying to better their own life.
To me, if they can take care of themselves they are ok in my book. Doesn't matter if that's check to check or with a massive savings. That lets me know they aren't waiting on someone to save them, they dont have to have some grand plan or even the need to want to be the top dog. Ambition is always attractive, but alot of times the same attractiveness just causes many more headaches and drama and for another 5k a year?
Now if your just talking about some bummy person that has nothing or just into that life...nah not entertaining that at all. As a man that has his stuff together, and really am finally good with the idea of settling down....nah I'm not waiting on someone to "mature"
Now if your just talking about some bummy person that has nothing or just into that life...nah not entertaining that at all. As a man that has his stuff together, and really am finally good with the idea of settling down....nah I'm not waiting on someone to "mature"
VFib
All Star
I'm not willing to wait, because I doubt I'd be appreciated in the end. I need him to already be established & supporting himself, and not hoping I'm here to support him while he is deciding what to do with his life.
However, if he is established, but looking to improve himself, I'd still date him.
For example, I wouldn't date a cashier in his 30s who talks about going back to school. I would date a Respiratory Therapist who decides he wants to be Pharmacist.
However, if he is established, but looking to improve himself, I'd still date him.
For example, I wouldn't date a cashier in his 30s who talks about going back to school. I would date a Respiratory Therapist who decides he wants to be Pharmacist.
what exactly does having your shyt together mean?? Its it just being gainfully employed or is there more to it?
Doesn't matter to me. If she's a work in progress or working on progress. Yeah it'd be nice to have the "finished product" but it's not black and white like that. Each individual woman is each individual woman. This week, she mopping floors. Next week the fries. So on and so forth.
Now just sitting on yo butt, making excuses and procrastinating. No thanks. I have always been attracted to a go getter. Not the ones who say, "I told myself I'll do such and such" and or "I keep forgetting to do such and such"
Interact with people that KNOW, not think. I've never dated a sorry woman. I know em. Say hi and bye. But that's about it.
Now just sitting on yo butt, making excuses and procrastinating. No thanks. I have always been attracted to a go getter. Not the ones who say, "I told myself I'll do such and such" and or "I keep forgetting to do such and such"
Interact with people that KNOW, not think. I've never dated a sorry woman. I know em. Say hi and bye. But that's about it.
Aceofspades404
Superstar
I'd be willing to wait since I'm in that stage of my life right now. We can build together.
CinnaSlim
Queen of Swords
Waiting.
blackdahlia
Pro
At my age, you need to have it together. Like you might not have reached the promise land, but you need to be on your way.
If you're trying to change careers, that's fine, but I need to see evidence and a history that supports you being able to make things happen.
Again, this all depends on the age of the man too. I would expect much more from a man in his 40s than a man in his 30s and less from a dude in his 20s.
If you're trying to change careers, that's fine, but I need to see evidence and a history that supports you being able to make things happen.
Again, this all depends on the age of the man too. I would expect much more from a man in his 40s than a man in his 30s and less from a dude in his 20s.
I'm not a "waiting" kind of person. My husband and I are building together, but he had already established himself in his career before we began dating and I was already 5+ years into mine. I wanted someone with the same drive as myself.
I'm too old to go through a waiting stage. Maybe 5+ years ago I would have been ok with waiting but now not so much.
Rocket Scientist
Superstar
Barack Obama was struggling in his 30's and almost had a failed run at politics,that woman that waited by his side became the First Lady of the United States.Sometimes a struggle is good and will pay off in the end!