Touchy subject: Would you attend the funeral of a father/mother who was M.I.A.?

[valet]

First let me say from the jump, I already know some will disagree with what this guy did. He's a Christian, so there are moral standards that we go by that are "strange" to many. Long story short. Me and this dude ain't friends (just acquittances ) but he has this NFC party that I go to every year. His wife posted on FB that his pops died so I went to the visitation. When he greeted me, he told me straight up that he can't wait for this to be over with. His father wasn't in his life. Left his moms to be with another woman. His pops had a kid, whom he stayed with for 11 years, and then he left that woman. That son hates him so much that he said that if he had a funeral that he would never come. And as far as I know he didn't show up today.

My boy on the other hand, forgave his father a long time ago. He was in hospice and they told my boy he was about to die. He moved him into my boy's home, and took care of him for 2 weeks. My boy was struggling with people showing up to the funeral, given that he didn't have that relationship with father. But was grateful people showed him love.

So my question to yall. Hypothetically, which one would you be like? My boy, or his step-brother who wanted nothing to do with him. And I'm not saying be like my boy in taking care of him. Just showing up to the funeral.

 

[KGlock]

No.

 

[97Pac]

I'd go just to make sure he's dead and see if there's any inheritance for me.

 

[Scustin Bieburr]

The second man's anger makes more sense to me because not only did dude bounce after 11 years, we have no idea what those 11 years were like for him. His father could have been a real piece of shyt throughout that time and the only good thing he did was leave.

The first man never had any relationship with him to begin with, so it may sting less because all he knew of him was when he was sick and desperate.

Some people are garbage right until the end, but others may be opportunistic and appear to turn over a new leaf simply because they do not have the kind of power they used to have any more. And then there's the rare third type who GENUINELY expresses regret and remorse and tries to do anything within their power to earn forgiveness while also understanding they aren't entitled to it.

Parents who are cruel to their kids teach them that all that matters is if you have the power to get your way. When those parents no longer have the power to force their will onto others, their kids will at best treat them like they're dead already and at worst actively seek revenge to make them feel the kind of pain that was inflicted upon them.

Nobody can really say what they'd do until they're in that situation. My first instinct would be "if he wasn't present in my life, why should I spend money and an even more valuable resource I can't replenish(time) to be present at their death while people praise him and act like he was some kind of great person? what do I gain by participating in that charade?"

 

[MR. SNIFLES]

I WOULD.

 

[315]

I didn't when my father died so no. Don't even slightly regret it

 

[TL15]

If you go and regret going you can leave

If you don’t go and you regret not going, you can’t go back in time and get the chance to go back.

So I’d go

 

[King_Kamala61]

Nope. Don't even regret when I told my grandma she will never see me again in life or death. She died in 2016 and aunties and uncles asked if I was geauxin I let out a hearty laughter. I also told them don't put me in the funeral program too.

 

[Jazzy B.]

Don't even regret when I told my grandma she will never see me again in life or death

She must of been TRIFLING

 

[Kiyoshi-Dono]

Haven’t seen my dad since ‘12
He’s never met his granddaughter
And to be completely honest, I really don’t think about him
I used to be really angry and bitter towards him but I realized along time ago
He is who he is
I wish he could’ve been better and taught me shyt but the nikka is selfish and living his life
I’m living my life and not going to be fukked up if and when he dies
I’ve made peace with the universe

 

[#BOTHSIDES]

Depends…if it was an abusive parent in which we couldn’t get along…might not…

If the parent just had their own issues that they didn’t know how to cope with—drunk, drugs…then it might be

 

[Child_Of_God]

fukk no.

 

[King_Kamala61]

She must of been TRIFLING

She told me she was the reason why our father didn't stay and raise us after our parents divorce. She was the reason why he abandoned us. Our own grandmama.

She said she made our fully grown adult father come back home. I looked her dead in her eyes and said you took your grandchildren dad away from them. I was done with her.

 

[parallax]

The second man's anger makes more sense to me because not only did dude bounce after 11 years, we have no idea what those 11 years were like for him. His father could have been a real piece of shyt throughout that time and the only good thing he did was leave.

The first man never had any relationship with him to begin with, so it may sting less because all he knew of him was when he was sick and desperate.

Some people are garbage right until the end, but others may be opportunistic and appear to turn over a new leaf simply because they do not have the kind of power they used to have any more. And then there's the rare third type who GENUINELY expresses regret and remorse and tries to do anything within their power to earn forgiveness while also understanding they aren't entitled to it.

Parents who are cruel to their kids teach them that all that matters is if you have the power to get your way. When those parents no longer have the power to force their will onto others, their kids will at best treat them like they're dead already and at worst actively seek revenge to make them feel the kind of pain that was inflicted upon them.

Nobody can really say what they'd do until they're in that situation. My first instinct would be "if he wasn't present in my life, why should I spend money and an even more valuable resource I can't replenish(time) to be present at their death while people praise him and act like he was some kind of great person? what do I gain by participating in that charade?"

my mothers older sister is a real piece of shyt. to the degree that noone in our family wants to deal with her, including her kids. shes managed to burn every fukking bridge with everyone in our family including, or especially with her own children. he was a heavy smoker and often drug abuser(to the degree that the hardest drugs anyone would take in our family is either weed or alcohol)a few years back she had a stroke, and now lives in a recovery home. the only ones that go to see her are her kids and at times my aunt. i often talk to my cousins, and some times she comes up. when she does i tell them that the good thats in them is clearly from my grandmother, because i would have left that bytch in the dirt if she had done all the shyt to me that she did to them

 

[Heafcliffe]

Yeah especially if I have half-siblings that I know and keep in touch with. Outta respect for them, not said parent.