The politics involved in dating intra-racially.

[Un-AmericanDreamer]

“but they say I got a fetish, nah I’m skipping all of it / black and white girls come with a lot of politics” - Childish Gambino

Yeah I know it's a rap lyric and not all black women/men are like that, but I'm curious to know just what are the politics involved in dating inside ones race as opposed to dating inter racially . People talk about interracial dating all the time and the challenges that arise from that, but hardly anyone talks about dating inside the race from a point of introspection. I'm not talking about bitter self-haters bagging on their own and glorifying others like chris b and murdershewrote.

I'm more talking about the politics of keeping it black, black love or whatever, are there any? I never really thought about it before, but I guess there are some politics in dating in your own group, especially as it pertains to concepts of colorism. Speaking from experience as an intraracial dater, A black man has to date a certain type of black woman for it to be "official", you know what I mean? It is kind of confusing because there really is no black beauty standard to go by, but I don't think it's as simple as black is black, one drop rule, etc...I think there's some internal shyt. I wish I could articulate it better, but dating inside the race comes with its own unique challenges, you know what I mean?

Are there any notable politics of intraracial dating you can think of? What are the politics of a black man or woman dating their own?

Note: This is not a black woman bashing thread.

 

[Phoenix_Knightly23]

I haven't had any issues.

Might be different in the state though

 

[infamousred]

i never saw the point, in worrying about who somebody else was fukking.

 

[MikelArteta]

 

[Liu Kang]

Why care about complexions in the first place ? Why not be "post-racial" and trying to see beyond ?
Date whoever you have feelings for and disregard one's complexion IMO. If she appears to be black then that's it, if she's indian well that's it too... Maybe things will be different if we stop caring like that (as a whole obviously) about "races".
To me complexions are just like flavours : some prefer their ice cream vanilla or nougat, others caramel or chocolate and the third ones like em strawberry or honey and nobody cares. People too stuck about colors for us to evolve as a specie.

 

[diggy]

There's only politics if your circle of friends is like the cast of one of those generic black movies

 

[LOUD]

Can't bring home Becky

 

[MikeBrownsJob]

1. Black people(more so women) are in an interesting bind when they readily accept mixed raced women as black then get upset they represent overwhelmingly black women in media.

2. Black men use this to their advantage. You can date "black" women without being viewed as a self hater but you can also get a little bit "lighter" at the same time. I dated a chick from an African country. Yes she was "black" in America politically speaking(even though she looked typically hispanic) but she was also Portuguese and a whole list of other things. Looking back was it a conscious thing or not? Still hadn't figured it out yet, but as I have evolved on this issue, her being African, I wouldn't consider her "black"...

Look breh American politics are completely different. Dominicans are Dominicans. Puerto Ricans are Puerto Ricans. How come no one gets upset when Nigerians state they are Nigerians or Jamaicans as Jamaicans. ..I'll tell you why. Black Americans associate PR's and DM's with attractiveness. It's a subconscious thing. We could sit here and state, well it's because they deny their blackness. Lol black americans deny their blackness and isn't met with the same vitriol. Most black americans find it insulting because these people are obviously mixed raced. This is where the misguided negro states "we are all mixed"..Lolz as if there isn't a huge difference between antebellum lust, multigenerational mixing and having non-black parents and grandparents. Every other country makes this distinction but us. While dominicans can be black and white most are mixed race. The overwhelming majority so when they identify as such it doesn't bother me or rub me the wrong way nor do I think they are trying to escape their blackness. They are being factually correct. In the US we are actually wrong.

Dating "black" women is great. That depends on what you consider black. For me I think I've made it pretty clear. I want my kids to look like me and have a great deal of pride in darker skin. I've caught flack from black american women in my own family for seemingly only ever dating black women from different countries. Can't help it. These caribbean women do it to me

 

[Gravity]

1. Black people(more so women) are in an interesting bind when they readily accept mixed raced women as black then get upset they represent overwhelmingly black women in media.

2. Black men use this to their advantage. You can date "black" women without being viewed as a self hater but you can also get a little bit "lighter" at the same time. I dated a chick from an African country. Yes she was "black" in America politically speaking(even though she looked typically hispanic) but she was also Portuguese and a whole list of other things. Looking back was it a conscious thing or not? Still hadn't figured it out yet, but as I have evolved on this issue, her being African, I wouldn't consider her "black"...

Look breh American politics are completely different. Dominicans are Dominicans. Puerto Ricans are Puerto Ricans. How come no one gets upset when Nigerians state they are Nigerians or Jamaicans as Jamaicans. ..I'll tell you why. Black Americans associate PR's and DM's with attractiveness. It's a subconscious thing. We could sit here and state, well it's because they deny their blackness. Lol black americans deny their blackness and isn't met with the same vitriol. Most black americans find it insulting because these people are obviously mixed raced. This is where the misguided negro states "we are all mixed"..Lolz as if there isn't a huge difference between antebellum lust, multigenerational mixing and having non-black parents and grandparents. Every other country makes this distinction but us. While dominicans can be black and white most are mixed race. The overwhelming majority so when they identify as such it doesn't bother me or rub me the wrong way nor do I think they are trying to escape their blackness. They are being factually correct. In the US we are actually wrong.

Dating "black" women is great. That depends on what you consider black. For me I think I've made it pretty clear. I want my kids to look like me and have a great deal of pride in darker skin. I've caught flack from black american women in my own family for seemingly only ever dating black women from different countries. Can't help it. These caribbean women do it to me

this is a bunch of bullshyt. Domincans don't get hate because they acknowledge that they're mixed, they get hate for trying to suppress their blackness while perpetuating white supremacy. You'll say anything to push your dumbass "mixed people aren't black" agenda. It's pathetic at this point.

 

[MikeBrownsJob]

this is a bunch of bullshyt. Domincans don't get hate because they acknowledge that they're mixed, they get hate for trying to suppress their blackness while perpetuating white supremacy. You'll say anything to push your dumbass "mixed people aren't black" agenda. It's pathetic at this point.

I dapped you because I welcome discussion. That's your take on the issue and it's a very valid point. I've never experienced it, but their history and present still denies the blackness they do have. Again with the majority of them obviously mixed race why are we vested in their racial politics? It reminds me how we only focus on Egypt but the rest of African empires are often ignored. What's the end game in it all?

And this was just my perspective on the OP. Do you have anything to say about the rest of what I wrote?

 

[Un-AmericanDreamer]

I can respect both Gravity and Mikebrowns points-of-view , I don't necessarily think mixed people should be lumped in with black people because our interests are divergent. A mixed woman can't spearhead black womens beauty. This is coming from a dude with a preference for exotic looking mixed women. Black women with asian eyes, asian women with black womens asses. I like that rare exotic shyt on a woman.

I think we need to have a 3/4's blackness test to be considered black, or at least you have to look negroid(no cism).I call it the Will/Jada Smith test, you have to be as black or blacker looking than Will or Jada Smith to pass.

 

[TooLazyToMakeUp1]

My only thing is that I can't take a white girl seriously if I felt like she was a poser and altering her behavior and speech around certain people. That shyt makes me want to throw up in my mouth

Other than that, I'm not limiting myself over anybody else's hangups. I fail to see why people care about who someone else is kicking it with, but whatever


As far as that paperbag, light skin vs. dark skin c00n shyt going on with us blacks, all I can do is

 

[Gravity]

I dapped you because I welcome discussion. That's your take on the issue and it's a very valid point. I've never experienced it, but their history and present still denies the blackness they do have. Again with the majority of them obviously mixed race why are we vested in their racial politics? It reminds me how we only focus on Egypt but the rest of African empires are often ignored. What's the end game in it all?

And this was just my perspective on the OP. Do you have anything to say about the rest of what I wrote?

I didn't read everything you wrote because I can't get passed you arguing that mixed people aren't "black". That opinion/stance is so faulty and invalid that nothing else that you're saying matters.

I don't think that a discussion on a messageboard concerning Dominicans and the self hate that is prevalent amongst them equals being "vested" in their racial politics. The self hate amongst black people period runs rampant, and to me that's the real issue. It's not just Dominicans. There are plenty of mixed black people in this country who run from their blackness. You've seen the pics of cats as dark as Wesley Snipes claiming to be mixed because they have non blacks in their family.

My end game is to debunk the myth that black skin and African ancestry is inferior to light skin and non African ancestry. The reason why I embrace anyone of African ancestry is because that is what bonds us together. We live in a world that discriminates against people of African ancestry and the only way to overcome this is for people of African ancestry to unite together and reject the lie that blackness is inferior. I want to know what your end game is. How do you personally determine who is and isn't black since you don't consider mixed people to be black. More importantly though, how does shunning and excluding people who are mixed from the black race help the black race? If mixed people aren't black then I'm not black because despite my relatively dark complexion, I have plenty of non blacks in my family tree.

 

[MikeBrownsJob]

I didn't read everything you wrote because I can't get passed you arguing that mixed people aren't "black". That opinion/stance is so faulty and invalid that nothing else that you're saying matters.

I don't think that a discussion on a messageboard concerning Dominicans and the self hate that is prevalent amongst them equals being "vested" in their racial politics. The self hate amongst black people period runs rampant, and to me that's the real issue. It's not just Dominicans. There are plenty of mixed black people in this country who run from their blackness. You've seen the pics of cats as dark as Wesley Snipes claiming to be mixed because they have non blacks in their family.

My end game is to debunk the myth that black skin and African ancestry is inferior to light skin and non African ancestry. The reason why I embrace anyone of African ancestry is because that is what bonds us together. We live in a world that discriminates against people of African ancestry and only way to overcome this is for people African ancestry to unite together and look out for each other. I want to know what your end game is. How do you personally determine who is and isn't black since you don't consider mixed people to be black. More importantly though, how does shunning and excluding people who are mixed from the black race help the black race? If mixed people aren't black then I'm not black because despite my relatively dark complexion, I have plenty of non blacks in my family tree.

Thanks breh. I'm glad you responded.

Where does this African ancestry begin and end? That's the question I have for you. Is Julian Thicke "black", Is Nahla Berry black. They have a biracial parent and white parent. Is acknowledging that the current system we have today is actually anti-black and reinforces the thought process that black is only great when mixed, wrong? Our black president is half white and the woman who has represented black beauty for the past two decades is half-white. These are real problems when you consider that black men are seen as less competent than other races and black women less attractive. I have non-blacks in my family as well and they are just that. Mixed raced. They identify as such and we recognize that. No one is shunning and excluding anyone. People should identify as they are. I believe that would help our self esteem more.

 

[Gravity]

Thanks breh. I'm glad you responded.

Where does this African ancestry begin and end? That's the question I have for you. Is Julian Thicke "black", Is Nahla Berry black. They have a biracial parent and white parent. Is acknowledging that the current system we have today is actually anti-black and reinforces the thought process that black is only great when mixed, wrong? Our black president is half white and the woman who has represented black beauty for the past two decades is half-white. These are real problems when you consider that black men are seen as less competent than other races and black women less attractive. I have non-blacks in my family as well and they are just that. Mixed raced. They identify as such and we recognize that. No one is shunning and excluding anyone. People should identify as they are. I believe that would help our self esteem more.

African ancestry begins with your African ancestor. It seems as if you have a problem with the concept of race. You keep talking about percentages, mixes, and all of that but being mixed and black has never been mutually exclusive. A person with one white and one black parent has always been considered black. Yes, Halle Berry's daughter is "black" because she has African ancestry. You're trying use your personal opinions/rules concerning race and apply it to society. It doesn't work that way. You don't get to make up your own definition for what "black" means.

I don't agree with the idea that black is only good when mixed with white or something else either, but I don't see what that has to do with this particular issue. White people are racist, what else is new? Of course their going to give ligher skinned blacks preferential treatment over darker skinned blacks, that's how the system of white supremacy works. This isn't new, they were doing this during slavery. Again, the way to overcome their racism is to unite together. You still haven't explained how excluding people like Brack Obama from being black helps other black people. Imagine if Obama denied being black and went with that mixed bullshyt? He'd look like an idiot to both blacks and whites. White people know good and damn well that his mother is white. Do you honestly think that all of the whites who call him ******, monkey, and every other anti-black slur under the sun aren't aware that he's technically bi-racial?

If you have non blacks in your family, then you're own logic then you're not black either. Going by your "mixed people aren't black" logic, blacks are probably about 3% of the US population instead of 13%.