The Onion Ethers most of you

Food Mane

Food Mane

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NEW YORK—A report published Friday by a team of sociologists has confirmed there are apparently people living in the world today who are deeply concerned about the current state of hip-hop and who continually express genuine worry over the musical genre’s future.

According to the findings, at any given moment, hundreds of very serious conversations about the changing face of hip-hop are taking place, with many individuals appearing to have an actual emotional stake in matters such as the values of modern-day rappers, technology’s impact on the music, and Gucci Mane’s eventual place in cultural history.

“These people actually exist,” said New York University sociologist David Wolfsheim, who stressed that he was not referring just to artists, music industry employees, or even professional critics, but to everyday individuals who, for reasons not yet understood, feel a heavy personal investment in the state of hip-hop. “They experience true anxiety, day in and day out, about where the music has been and where it’s headed, almost as if their own futures depended upon it.”

“Believe it or not, these are otherwise normal people who are unable to listen to a single track by someone like Lil Wayne or Rick Ross without immediately worrying about whether the song remains true to hip-hop’s roots,” Wolfsheim continued. “This is a real thing that happens.”

Calculations from the report indicate that the amount of time and energy such individuals devote to their concern over the quality of today’s hip-hop artists and the direction it is taking is roughly equivalent to what ordinary human beings might devote to working hard at a chosen career, spending time with family and loved ones, or finding ways to actually contribute something to the communities in which they live.

The report also confirmed that the sentences “Mainstream hip-hop is losing its street edge,” “The over-commercialization of rap is ruining modern music,” and “Sometimes, it seems like nothing will ever top classic Public Enemy,” are all statements that have been uttered with full sincerity over the past year.

“Many of these individuals have been known to devise complex theories as to why hip-hop’s sound has changed over the years, and some have even written serious, in-depth manifestos on how the genre’s ‘authenticity’ can be restored,” Wolfsheim said. “Most worryingly, perhaps, the stress levels observed in these individuals as they discuss hip-hop’s declining relevance to our culture is off the charts.”

“They get really, really upset about it,” he added.

In addition, Wolfsheim noted the discovery of hundreds of websites and blogs that appear to be entirely dominated by very earnest debates about what it means to be a true hip-hop artist, and how a higher level of consciousness “must” be revived in rap. According to estimates, approximately 237 million words have been devoted to the theory that the music has changed because today’s performers didn’t “come up as hard” as earlier generations and will “just say whatever it takes to sell a record.”

Thirty-nine-year-old Boise, ID resident Wallace Briggs, a real-life human being who described himself as “deeply troubled by at least nine distinct trends in modern hip-hop,” spoke to reporters Friday about his gravest fears.

“Sometimes I lie awake in the middle of the night thinking, my God, what if the golden age of hip-hop is over for good?” said Briggs, a physical therapist and father of two. “It’s devastating. I just don’t know if the artists emerging today can ever restore the social relevance and cultural vibrancy of the music.”

Pressed for further comment, Briggs acknowledged that he has been voicing this exact same sentiment about hip-hop since 1988.
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A lot of you got that work.
 
BedRoomI'z

BedRoomI'z

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Who gives a fukk about what they think.

When Hip-Hop showed up at their delgations, campaigns and
CEO Shareholders' meetings, that's when its integrity was
compromised. Funny how the mf'rs who ruined Hip-Hop are now
complaining about those who love it. Irony at it's fukking finest.

fukk you, scallion, not even an onion anymore. :rudy:
 
CASHAPP

CASHAPP

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ugksam said:
naw im completely serious the onion is a comedy website, its for entertainment purposes only
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All of us in the thread know that already you fukking Captain Obvious retard...........

The OP said it ethers us because even as someone described in the article.........the entire thing sounded exactly like a lot of us on here.....

Always gotta be that one captain obvious in every thread :smh:

"Buu butt buu....wikipedia doesn't count as a real source!!!" :beli:
 
ugksam

ugksam

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I just googled the "Wallace Briggs" guy mentioned in the article and i found out it isn't even a real guy, this whole shyt has been confirmed fake.
 
ProfessionallyTrill

ProfessionallyTrill

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nikka them white folks dont know how seriously we take our CULTURE.

Joke or not, Im not sure how it's a diss that people dissect what they want. In this case, Hip Hop.

Im all for people shutting the fukk up and enjoying the music but Hip Hop is so VAST, theres just more shyt to choose from.

People aint talkin bout coastal country music or who's the best every year. WE DO. I'm glad we enjoy our competition and it is there where Hip Hop stands alone.
 
volk

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Cac opinions on hip hop an what we should find important :beli: gtfo
 
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