The Official "Lies You Told Today" Thread

[MicIsGod]

Classic
Bought a whole bunch of candy at the store today and when they gave me that awkward look I said "yeah the kids havin a birthday party today " I ain't got no damn kids

 

[King Poetic]

Boss called : King Poetic i know its your day off, but do u mind coming in.. we need the brocker advancement sheet done

me: i would love to, but i have a dentist appointment at 2. sorry bob

in reality i'll be on a boat chillin today

 

[MicIsGod]

My girl thinks I'm at the store