Essential The Official Football (Soccer) Thread - We are SO back, the Premier League returns!

[Ohms Law]

Yeah, on one hand the mail is worthless when they're bringing you shyt you don't want, on the other hand, when it's shyt you've ordered, shyt that is somewhat valuable...:avbehh:

Afterwards I sorta put myself in his shoes, unappreciated job, your company is in the shytter, just this faceless amorphous being bringing bills and packages to boxes.

Hate to say it but those amazon drones don't seem like such a abjectly terrible idea.

Didn't take you as the confrontational type

 

[dennis roadman]

I was out on a run and I got back to my apartment and the mailman was coming out at the same time and wouldn't let me back in. Dude literally blocked off the door. He didn't believe that I lived in the building and started quizzing me on who I was, what my unit was etc.

Eventually told him to get out of my way, but then he was like, "I'm just trying to make sure strangers don't get in the building"

He eventually let me by but fukk him

similar things have happened to me - do-gooders pissing me off by accident. i think its best to remain calm and offer to provide some proof, like in an incredibly nice but forceful way, ensure that he now has to go out of his way follow you upstairs to your apt (hopefully you dont have elevators), then make him stand there while you show him your license, bank statements with the address and name, then go into family photos, middle school yearbooks, weird prescriptions you may have taken. make sure he regrets trying to do the right thing so he never tries to help punk ass strangers ever again

 

[Ohms Law]

I wanna fake stunt on people so bad if you guys saw what I looked like I wouldn't mind but I have my guvment name on it and if anybody I know happened to find this site and see me post it, then look through my post history on here...

Does your first name start with a k?

 

[Grams]

Does your first name start with a k?

Breh...............


















Nah it doesn't

 

[Roaden Polynice]

similar things have happened to me - do-gooders pissing me off by accident. i think its best to remain calm and offer to provide some proof, like in an incredibly nice but forceful way, ensure that he now has to go out of his way follow you upstairs to your apt (hopefully you dont have elevators), then make him stand there while you show him your license, bank statements with the address and name, then go into family photos, middle school yearbooks, weird prescriptions you may have taken. make sure he regrets trying to do the right thing so he never tries to help punk ass strangers ever again

Yeah, I definitely could've handled it better. Though if my bills or packages go missing I know what's up

 

[Roaden Polynice]

Didn't take you as the confrontational type

Yeah I'm generally not, something snapped though

 

[gho3st]

Steve Clarke sacked

 

[Grams]

Yeah I'm generally not, something snapped though

Sometimes people just need to get done in I always noticed I never had problems with anybody after I whooped them in a fight and I'm not saying that to be an internet tough guy I'm just trying to prove a point. Some people still need to be disciplined like children

 

[Grams]

I'm gonna start living life like @Don Rhymus and RiFF RAFF and see how many illegitimate children I can create within the next 8 months

 

[mastermind]

I was out on a run and I got back to my apartment and the mailman was coming out at the same time and wouldn't let me back in. Dude literally blocked off the door. He didn't believe that I lived in the building and started quizzing me on who I was, what my unit was etc.

Eventually told him to get out of my way, but then he was like, "I'm just trying to make sure strangers don't get in the building"

He eventually let me by but fukk him

I just dont want them fukking with when my shyt arrives, thats all. I'd be concerned.

In saying that, Ive never heard of a mailman acting like a neighborhood security guard. That is some fukk boy shyt, so I get it.


I live on hte 4th floor in my apartment, and the mailman doesnt do stairs. I get a package delivered and the fukkboy wouldnt come upstairs, but instead left those "pick it up at the post office" slips. I went to the post office after the 100th time he did it, and they told me he a fukkboy and was retiring at the end of the year but we hate that fukkboy too. I was relieved.

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

I'm gonna start living life like @Don Rhymus and RiFF RAFF and see how many illegitimate children I can create within the next 8 months

Make weekly deposits at the sperm bank and get paid for it.

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

I just dont want them fukking with when my shyt arrives, thats all. I'd be concerned.

In saying that, Ive never heard of a mailman acting like a neighborhood security guard. That is some fukk boy shyt, so I get it.


I live on hte 4th floor in my apartment, and the mailman doesnt do stairs. I get a package delivered and the fukkboy wouldnt come upstairs, but instead left those "pick it up at the post office" slips. I went to the post office after the 100th time he did it, and they told me he a fukkboy and was retiring at the end of the year but we hate that fukkboy too. I was relieved.

After 35 years, mailman George decides to retire. On his last day, he makes his usual rounds.

When he arrives at the first house, the whole family comes out, congratulates him, and sends him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they present him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house hand him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the next house, he is met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She takes him by the hand and leads him up to the bedroom, where she blows his mind with the most passionate sex he has ever experienced.

When done, they go downstairs, where she fixes him a giant breakfast. As she pours him a cup of coffee, he notices a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.

"All this is just too wonderful for words," he says, "but what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she says, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that I wanted to do something special for you. I asked him what to give you. He said, 'fukk him. Give him a dollar.' But breakfast was my idea."

 

[Grams]

Make weekly deposits at the sperm bank and get paid for it.

 

[Montez]

People you don't fukk with:
Waiters/Bartenders
Security Men
IT
Mailmen
Mechanics
Barbers

 

[Kunty McPhuck]

your best ever post