The following won't be very interesting if you're not interested in my inflated sense of self importance or real life re-enactments of the Jeremy Kyle show.
This will be long, and it won't all be in one installment. I'm about to chronicle the most hectic and emotionally straining 2 months or so of my life. Buckle up m8s.
Picture the scene. 5 friends. Pub. #LAD .
The date is 22nd of December 2012. The night started off rather normal, you know the sort, all pretty bog standard stuff. Much craic, bantz, many shyts and giggles. There's not many of us out, just before christmas you see, we're saving for the big sessions on boxing day and the 29th. But a somewhat out of the ordinary addition to the line up, my friend of 10+ years, who is a gambling addict is out, he usually has no money, got a liking for the machines in the bookies you see. Until recently he worked with me and 2 of the other lads who were out. He's out maybe once a month at most, AT A PUSH. So anyway no big deal we're happy to have him due to the low numbers.
Now we never planned on heading in to town, but they say the random, unplanned ones are the best, and we're all dressed for it(not that the dress code is strict you understand). Plus there's a works 'do' out in town that we were obviously too cool to originally go to. But this one mate of mine, he plays it cool, but he loves that shyt, couldn't wait to get amongst it.
So we're in town, it's busy, and my gambling friend is suddenly accompanied by his girlfriend, god knows where she came from but whatever, it's not a big no no so to speak, it's hardly a planned 'lads night out' or anything. Now i've had my run ins with her before after she once told him i told her he was cheating on her(i never said this obviously, bro's before ho's...
). So we're sitting in a starter pub if you will, in town, before joining up with the work lot, so on my part i can act like i'm too cool to be there and generally blank everyone. That is until i get drunk and suddenly become everyone's best friend or mortal enemy(ive been confronted 3 separate times now by 3 different people from work when out about how i never speak to them, they ask why i don't like them. Grown men acting like bytches 
).
Anyway...we're in the starter pub, and i get talking to the gamblers girlfriend, we bury the hatchet, i mean there wasn't necessarily one to bury but we say everything's cool. Now fukk knows how but somehow we get talking about sex! I'm telling her things i do to my girlfriend(did i not mention that earlier?
) in bed. And there's something very strange going on, which looking back was weird, but at the time i never thought anything of. I mean this girl was INTERESTED, wanted to know my techniques, you could even say she was turned on. So time passes, i tell her how i eat my GF out etc etc then eventually we move on to the work thing. Now this is the point where the old *SCENE MISSING* thing starts rearing its ugly head.
Next thing i know we're lining up to get in some pub/club/bar sort of place i've never been in. And i casually lean in to the gambler and say "Ey, you wanna watch her ey!", "what ya mean?" he replies. "She's been flirting with me all night, dunno what her craic is", now i'm being a good friend, this guys girl is obviously ready to stray and isn't too concerned about who with(or so i thought). So in the work thing there's this guy who can't handle is drink, starts getting fresh with me, everyone's trying to calm him down(now this is a comical scene and became a bit of a running joke at work, as the thought of him stepping to me is the lolz)...anyway, push doesn't literally come to shove before a bouncer asks us to leave. I leave swiftly through the back door, i hear in the following days he leaves by falling flat on his face out he front door.
Anyway i'm out, and the only one of my original group willing to accompany me at that time is gambler + GF. I mean i appreciate it, she even gives the bouncer a bit of grief, truly a down ass bytch
So us 3 move on to the middle of town...here's a *SCENE MISSING*, i can't remember exactly where we went but we end up in walkabout, next thing i know, i think he's went for a faq, and me and her are left on this booth area by ourselves. It's kind of around a corner so out of the way. I'm kicking back, relaxing, extremely drunk, she's next to me, then all of a sudden, out of fukking no where we make eye contact. And you know that look? That "holy shyt, we about to kiss!
" look? Well it happened, fukk knows how, i have no idea. But it happens, we both lean in and it's very much on. About 5 seconds later we pull away and be like 
. I jolt to my feet like i've been tazered...or something. And i'm off to the toilet like a shot. I come back after regaining my composure and having a mini existential crisis that would foreshadow the larger one to come. He's back sitting with his GF, everything is cool apparently. Now i don't know what happened next, but for some reason we lose him, and me and her end up at this gay friendly type place, and we're standing near by in a door way, an suddenly we're at it again
. This time it's much shorter before she pulls away and starts walking off in to the distance. So i'm like 
at the whole thing, i go meet my friends.(and briefly get with another girl #LAD)
I wake up the next morning with about 10 texts and 20 missed calls off her.
That's how it all began...
This will be long, and it won't all be in one installment. I'm about to chronicle the most hectic and emotionally straining 2 months or so of my life. Buckle up m8s.
Picture the scene. 5 friends. Pub. #LAD .
The date is 22nd of December 2012. The night started off rather normal, you know the sort, all pretty bog standard stuff. Much craic, bantz, many shyts and giggles. There's not many of us out, just before christmas you see, we're saving for the big sessions on boxing day and the 29th. But a somewhat out of the ordinary addition to the line up, my friend of 10+ years, who is a gambling addict is out, he usually has no money, got a liking for the machines in the bookies you see. Until recently he worked with me and 2 of the other lads who were out. He's out maybe once a month at most, AT A PUSH. So anyway no big deal we're happy to have him due to the low numbers.
Now we never planned on heading in to town, but they say the random, unplanned ones are the best, and we're all dressed for it(not that the dress code is strict you understand). Plus there's a works 'do' out in town that we were obviously too cool to originally go to. But this one mate of mine, he plays it cool, but he loves that shyt, couldn't wait to get amongst it.
So we're in town, it's busy, and my gambling friend is suddenly accompanied by his girlfriend, god knows where she came from but whatever, it's not a big no no so to speak, it's hardly a planned 'lads night out' or anything. Now i've had my run ins with her before after she once told him i told her he was cheating on her(i never said this obviously, bro's before ho's...
). So we're sitting in a starter pub if you will, in town, before joining up with the work lot, so on my part i can act like i'm too cool to be there and generally blank everyone. That is until i get drunk and suddenly become everyone's best friend or mortal enemy(ive been confronted 3 separate times now by 3 different people from work when out about how i never speak to them, they ask why i don't like them. Grown men acting like bytches ).Anyway...we're in the starter pub, and i get talking to the gamblers girlfriend, we bury the hatchet, i mean there wasn't necessarily one to bury but we say everything's cool. Now fukk knows how but somehow we get talking about sex! I'm telling her things i do to my girlfriend(did i not mention that earlier?
) in bed. And there's something very strange going on, which looking back was weird, but at the time i never thought anything of. I mean this girl was INTERESTED, wanted to know my techniques, you could even say she was turned on. So time passes, i tell her how i eat my GF out etc etc then eventually we move on to the work thing. Now this is the point where the old *SCENE MISSING* thing starts rearing its ugly head.Next thing i know we're lining up to get in some pub/club/bar sort of place i've never been in. And i casually lean in to the gambler and say "Ey, you wanna watch her ey!", "what ya mean?" he replies. "She's been flirting with me all night, dunno what her craic is", now i'm being a good friend, this guys girl is obviously ready to stray and isn't too concerned about who with(or so i thought). So in the work thing there's this guy who can't handle is drink, starts getting fresh with me, everyone's trying to calm him down(now this is a comical scene and became a bit of a running joke at work, as the thought of him stepping to me is the lolz)...anyway, push doesn't literally come to shove before a bouncer asks us to leave. I leave swiftly through the back door, i hear in the following days he leaves by falling flat on his face out he front door.
Anyway i'm out, and the only one of my original group willing to accompany me at that time is gambler + GF. I mean i appreciate it, she even gives the bouncer a bit of grief, truly a down ass bytch
So us 3 move on to the middle of town...here's a *SCENE MISSING*, i can't remember exactly where we went but we end up in walkabout, next thing i know, i think he's went for a faq, and me and her are left on this booth area by ourselves. It's kind of around a corner so out of the way. I'm kicking back, relaxing, extremely drunk, she's next to me, then all of a sudden, out of fukking no where we make eye contact. And you know that look? That "holy shyt, we about to kiss!
" look? Well it happened, fukk knows how, i have no idea. But it happens, we both lean in and it's very much on. About 5 seconds later we pull away and be like . I jolt to my feet like i've been tazered...or something. And i'm off to the toilet like a shot. I come back after regaining my composure and having a mini existential crisis that would foreshadow the larger one to come. He's back sitting with his GF, everything is cool apparently. Now i don't know what happened next, but for some reason we lose him, and me and her end up at this gay friendly type place, and we're standing near by in a door way, an suddenly we're at it again. This time it's much shorter before she pulls away and starts walking off in to the distance. So i'm like at the whole thing, i go meet my friends.(and briefly get with another girl #LAD)I wake up the next morning with about 10 texts and 20 missed calls off her.
That's how it all began...
ya dont say
the people they have on are so bland it's hard to notice distinguishing features about them.
tho
@ me going who the fukk is bover. and izquierdo basically changed his name from second surname to first surname. who the fukk knows when that happened.
its so beautiful