Someone at NBC (not us) thought it was a great idea to interview Worldwide Wrestling's Iron Sheik because he was a trainer for the 1972 U.S. team. After painstakingly turning whatever he said into readable English, then editing out a few awful, dehumanizing things, we bring you our heavily edited conversation with Sheikie, made possible by manager Page Magen.
Come up with a signature move and name Jordan Burroughs could use in London?
"The Jordan. Not like the Michael Jordan but he still the Real American. He can break the pinkie finger like Sheikie. He break people back with his pinkie. Because he a big strong [expletive] for America. I be happy. His name could be the Real and his finisher be the Humble. Give me a hell yeah!
How do you feel about the "Flying Squirrel" nickname Ellis Coleman gave himself?
Flying squirrel remind me of Ultimate Warrior because he a little rat when he jump in ring like that idiot Jose Canseco or Mel Gibson. I would never respect the squirrel because the squirrel have no [expletive].
Wow, aggressive. Could the Iron Sheik beat any of the current wrestlers on Team USA?
In my day I beat living [expletive] out of all Olympian who challenge the legend. I put them in a camel clutch, break they back [two or three expletives], and make them humble. But now I am not in same shape as before so I dont [expletive] with them.
How would the Olympics benefit from adding ropes around the mat?
The rope protect you and you cannot run away like little [expletive] in ring like Jose Canseco.
How would Hulk Hogan do against the current Olympic team?
Hulk Hogan dont last long like because [a few expletives] he not a real man like the Sheiky baby. He get beat bad like [wow... not printing that] and never make it to Olympics. Only for the Olympics for being [or that]. [editors note: He definitely hates Hogan.]
Are you ready for a comeback?
I know if I training I can beat the [expletive] out of anybody who [expletive] with me. I am the real legend not like the jabroni the Tom Cruise.
How do you feel about the American wrestling team this year?
They all workers but need to pay their due to be legend like Iron Sheik. Buy my [expletive] shirt!! USA #1!
#TeamSheikie
