The Coli Has Corrupted Me

[Captain Crunch]

My Sunday, just browsing around copping some soap and meeting up with my family.

Goes to African store on 30th and 6th to get that soap
Sees young Nubian princess behind the counter
Purchases soap, but then stays around to talk to her
Her mom comes out from the back
Introduce myself to the mom, "excuse me miss, I don't mean to be rude, but I just saw your daughter and you mind if I talk to her "
Me: "Yeah, I was thinking you was cool and all, so take my number and we can go from there "
Mom: "She not from here, she from Africa "
Me:

***A few minutes later, I step out and walk to meet up w/ my fam.***
I see across the street a pretty young thing w/ her friends
I go over to spit
Me: "Excuse me ya'll, but I'm seen from friend, you mind if I talk to her "
Her: "Well, I you talk to me at this event we hosting, it's only $20 "
Me: " I'm good, but that was slick though "

Now I see regular everyday shyt as coli smileys

 

[concise]

Catching up with an old friend the other day on fb and I was typing out a long message. Every other line I had to stop myself because I was already picking out the appropriate smiley in my mind.

 

[Lewis Black]

I keep on this gif in real life

 

[.༼-◕_◕-༽.]

Me too... the smilies are everything...

 

[HowardHughes]

U gotta respect the hustlers mentality.

 

[ugksam]

the coli makes me think any women i could potentially date will cheat on me and that any kind of ugly girl is a tranny

 

[shoeprogram]

Last week when this chick my boy was messin me with told me specifically just broke up with her boyfriend & could use some company I legitimately made the face

 

[Regular_P]

I'm the same way. Hell, i rarely text without them. If the situation doesn't call for a smiley, i just sit there for a second like

 

[stealthbomber]

i wish i could wear a mask and it changes to the smilie that conveys my emotion

sexy bish walk by and i hug her, with them big ol titty meats then her fat friend comes up on some "ohhh hiiii stealth" i ask if she's gonna be at the spot this weekend she says no but the whale asks me for a ride "oh well idk for sure what my plans are" "you should hit up *nameless nikka #1 * i know he's going"

18 mins later...

*phone buzzes*
oh i wonder what nameless nikka #1 wants
fukkkkk youuuuuu stealth

 

[The 2020 New Member]

 

[observe]

Subtle brag thread about hollering at two girls IMO

 

[Quarterback]

I copy and paste these smileys on other forums I post at. fukk a pause.

I'm sick of having to explain to cacs what I mean when I say ether, sonning, that work, fux with, etc