Sunday discussion: Anybody mind talking about why fathers are never in the picture?

[Klyk21]

Like, really tho. I grew up with both parents and I can't understand why the dad is never in the picture within the black community. Watching news reports, it's always the mom speaking on behalf of the family, like EVERY TIME! I rarely see the father in the picture. Even athletes and many famous black people lack a father in almost every instance. Why is this?! I know it's bad now but when I see a dude like 28 or older without parents, I really can't comprehend that b/c I was under the assumption that it was something that is going on currently and started in the 90's. But when I see people like lebron james, ray lewis, etc talking about fathers being absent, I understand that this issue is deeper than I thought. Take 10 of your friends (any).........how many of them have fathers?! I'm not saying post the # but think about it. Because when I think of 10 of my friends with both parents vs 10 with a single mom, the parented folks are doing MUCH better. Even the divorced parents. But what I'm more concerned about it is children growing up not knowing or having very little contact with their fathers. Why does our culture allow this?!

 

[xd21]

My dad has only taken a few pictures with us. He rarely gets into picture unless it's a family photo. Don't ask me why though because I have no idea.

Even the divorced parents. But what I'm more concerned about it is children growing up not knowing or having very little contact with their fathers. Why does our culture allow this?!

I don't understand it either considering I'm a parent. I had to fight for my visitations for my daughter because her mom refused to let me see her.

 

[Colilluminati]

I got both my girls right now and my niece.

 

[Klyk21]

My dad has only taken a few pictures with us. He rarely gets into picture unless it's a family photo. Don't ask me why though because I have no idea.


I don't understand it either considering I'm a parent. I had to fight for my visitations for my daughter because her mom refused to let me see her.

This. Why is this so prevalent today?! I'm not going to lie, it's part of the reason I'm scared shytless to marry a black woman. Too many of them don't see the bigger picture of having a father (although not together at the time) in the picture. Which goes back to last question?! Why the prevalence of this destructive attitude within the community?! Black women are so quick to throw a man on child support instead of having him there to "support the child". I really can't wrap my head around that mindset

 

[Ohene]

must be an american thing. yall going through some shyt out there.

cause up north I only know one dude personally that has divorced parents and his father is still in his life. Another friend doesnt have a father but I have never asked, my guess is that his dad is dead.

 

[Sweet James]

Women trying to force relationships with guys by using unplanned illegitimate kids. And then playing the victim, when the plan doesn't work.........

Women getting pregnant, so the don't end up alone, or to acquire financial support from men, so they don't have to work.

 

[ThisIsLife]

My dad was somewhat in my life, most of the time he was in jail. Just when everyone thought he was doing better, he left my mom for some bytch.

 

[Sweet James]

must be an american thing. yall going through some shyt out there.

cause up north I only know one dude personally that has divorced parents and his father is still in his life. Another friend doesnt have a father but I have never asked, my guess is that his dad is dead.

 

[Ohene]

i aint crossing that bridge breh. I dont know how sensitive he might be about it but I am not sure I've ever heard him talk about his dad. I'm thinking about it and he MIIIGHT have but I can't say for sure.

 

[Rockstar Mom]

I grew up with both parents.

My son is growing up with both parents.


As for the child support statement tho. Child support would've never been invented, if motherfukkas were WILLINGLY taking care of their kid(s)

 

[Ohene]

I grew up with both parents.

My son is growing up with both parents.


As for the child support statement tho. Child support would've never been invented, if motherfukkas were WILLINGLY taking care of their kid(s)

Indeed.

But I feel like theres too many dudes getting took eventhough they would be willing to takecare of there kids. Ive just never understood how a judge can see a fit man, in tears begging to be a part of his children's life and then still reduce him to bi weekly visits and child support. Especially in the case where the women is unfit. The system is fukked man. Or I guess I just hear only of the horror stories and I'm exaggerating.

 

[Klyk21]

I grew up with both parents.

My son is growing up with both parents.


As for the child support statement tho. Child support would've never been invented, if motherfukkas were WILLINGLY taking care of their kid(s)

It's a DNA test for a reason, RM. What kind of man wants to take care of another mans kids?! I'm sure there are an unknown amount of suckers men out here taking care of a child that they believe is their own. Furthermore, not every man is about to take care of his own child if he doesn't want to be tied down. That all comes down to choosing a good mate aka, who you allow between your legs.

 

[MAKAVELI25]

It's definitely a black AMERICAN problem. I grew up in Nigeria and I don't remember any of my friends not having their fathers around.

 

[Sonic Boom of the South]

Parents still married
*has no children out of wedloc*

 

[Mowgli]

Mother is unattractive/annoying/jumpoff and there are too many harlots in the world with no morals. Mix that with an unforgiving wife, you have a alot of absent homes.