Hi Lipstickalley,
I'm a straight, 21 year old male using my cousin's account. I just wanted to tell my story somewhere I could get a BLACK WOMAN's opinion. I'm biracial with a white mother (never met my dad) and she raised me in a white suburb in Jersey. Because of that, I decided to go to New York for school and join a D9 fraternity my junior year. I was inspired to become more pro-Black and explore my black side. I wanted to learn more about black brotherhood and explore the side I had been missing out on. What I got was about 2 months of humiliation, intimidation, and an intro into disturbing and gay activity- all for letters.
In the beginning, my prophytes were my idols. They were smart, charismatic, and lusted over by every girl on campus. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to be one of them. When I got my bid I was the happiest man in the world but about 3 weeks into pledging, I got a rude awakening. I remember one day the guys wanted me to wake up at 4am and bring them all bacon,egg and cheeses from the bodega (regular stuff). By the time I reached my dean's apartment, he was leaving for class and I was scolded for being late. He told me he'd "take care of me later."
I got a call around noon to meet at our usual spot but I was surprised to find that I was the only pledge in the basement. I took wood (got paddled) for my mistake which was normal, but what wasn't normal, is the fact that he made me get completely undressed. He himself had no shirt on and I felt pretty uncomfortable. When he was satisfied, he let me go and that was that. I stayed out of trouble for about a week or two after. Then one of my line brothers got caught fukking his girlfriend (A prophyte saw the girl leaving his dorm room). That night we all got in trouble for that. Instead of taking wood, we had to line up and close our eyes. Now the only way I can describe what happened next is, it was like that scene in the movie Burning Sands when they had to basically line up to fukk the same girl (which we also did), only thiswasn't a girl. It was a dude I recognized from the track team. He had a girl and everything, she lived in my dorm Freshman year. When it was my turn to be with him, we agreed that I would just get head.
My LBs said they did the same but who knows. It isn't the first time we've done shyt like that and I was surprised at how casual everyone's attitude towards the gay shyt was (except a couple of my LBs). I wanna warn any girls who might have a man on line or already "made". I have seen, experienced, and was forced to encourage gay sex- sometimes raw gay sex between my brothers and random others who kept our secret.
My question to yall is does what I did for my letters make me gay and if I were to ever open up to a female and tell her about this do you think I will get rejected and exposed? I only took part in the pledging process once after I was made. I only beat the pledges, I didn't do none of that gay shyt but I was in the room or playing lookout during some of it.
Yes, I believe that more than half of the men I met in my frat are in the closet.
I pledged a D9 frat and they wanted me to...