Michael Cole came out pre-show, selling the effects of the attack on Raw. Massive heat on Cole.
Alberto Del Rio opens with a recap of his attack on Sheamus on Raw. Ricardo Rodriguez is missing. Sheamus’s music hits, but it’s Rodriguez dressed up like Sheamus, including bright white tights and shirt to emulate Sheamus’s skin. He does a hilarious imitation of Sheamus as Del Rio interviews him. The real Sheamus comes out, and they end up brawling up the ramp. Teddy Long appears, dressed in a normal (for him, not for the rest of us) suit but with the big nametag. He says that the show is in his hands tonight, per John Laurinaitis, and he’s booking Sheamus vs. Kane as the main event and Del Rio vs. Khali to open the show immediately.
(1) Alberto Del Rio beat The Great Khali via submission. Del Rio attacks Khali’s knees, then softens the arm, and Khali taps to the cross arm-breaker. Rodriguez interferes a bit, too. Typical “smaller heel beats Khali by attacking the knees” match. The crowd goers nuts for Khali, I don’t get it.
Baskstage, Cameron dances for Teddy Long, and then Brodus Clay shows up. Long tells him that he is now permanently on Smackdown. Clay gets serious and says that he will treat his opponent tonight as if he is Big Show. Naomi and Ziggler show up and call Clay a joke. Ziggler says Clay is lucky he's on SD permanently because if he shows his sorry fat ass on RAW again he's going to beat him worse than Big Show. Clay goes to attack but Naomi stands in front of Ziggler. Ziggler threatens Clay with paralysis if he lays one hand on his nubian queen.
(2) Brodus Clay beat Derrick Bateman. Bateman gets squashed by Clay in a minute or two, then Clay dances with kids. I am a huge fan of both of these guys, but I was sad to see Bateman tossed out here like this. Big Show comes out and has a stare down with Clay. Zigger runs in and chokes Clay with a Bullwhip. Big Show knocks out Clay with the WMD and crushes his throat with a chair. He is stretchered out. Naomi offers to dance with one of the crying kids but they refuse. Ziggler spits on him.
(3) Sin Cara beat Drew McIntyre. This was basically a spotfest to make Sin Cara look good. McIntyre did his role like a pro. Sin Cara botched one move badly and McIntyre acted like it connected, very awkward. Sin Cara won with his DDT finisher.
Post-match (and not likely to go on TV from what I can tell), McIntyre cut a promo demanding that an authority figure come out and explain why he isn’t in the main event status. Triple H came out, hit a Pedigree. Damien Sandow confronts HHH and gets a pedigree for his trouble. When both men recover they state the joke is on HHH because they enjoyed it.
(4) Ryback beat Two Local Jobbers. You’ve seen this match before. Of course, the jobbers were from Clemson to get the Columbia audience riled up. Ryback changed it up a bit to keep the match formula fresh. The crowd loves Ryback, lots of “Feed! Me! More!” and “Finish It!” chants.
Backstage Orton is preparing to give an interview when he is attacked by Lord Tensai. Tensai spits mist in his face and chokes Orton until he passes out. Sakamodo presents Lord Tensai with a ceremonial cane and he pounds Orton with it. Orton has to be assisted by the trainers.
The crew was setting up for the Peep Show, but deliberately didn’t finish in time so Cody Rhodes could come out and destroy the half-assembled set. He ranted about Christian, who then came out. Rhodes reminds everyone that Christian was last seen as a heel, and says that no one is buying it. Christian finally explains his turn, and says that when he inducted Edge into the HOF, he had a moment of clarity and realized that he wants to be remembered for being a winner of championships, not someone who always whined for “one more match.” Good for them to do this. Dolph Ziggler interrupted for his match with Christian.
(5) IC champion Christian beat Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match. Good, long match. Christian won at the end with the frog splash. The crowd struggled to get into it, though. Post match Naomi attacked Christian with the IC title and Ziggler gave him the zig zag. Cody Rhodes came out and used a razor to cut Christians face. Refs and officials had to pull him off.
It's announced that Orton was injured in the attack by Lord Tensai and will be out indefinitely.
Raw Rebound.
Michael Cole got on the mic and asked everyone to “move on” past the mess from Monday. Heidenreich and Snitsky appear on the TitanTron. Heidenreich asks Cole if he's moved on from their encounter? Cole wets his pants. Snitsky says that Ezekiel Jackson is too distraught to appear tonight. Daniel Bryan is failing him and that harlot AJ is to blame. Snitsky says that he would love to taste AJ's feet, but doesn't know if attached to her body or not. If she doesn't stay out of Bryan's way he'll just have to find out. An inconsolable Ezekiel Jackson appears and sobs uncontrollably and says Bryan better win or he'll end up like Kofi and Cole.
JR’s music hit and the crowd went NUTS. Hornswoggle came out dressed as JR, and people were pretty disappointed, actually. He bantered with Cole. Damien Sandow came out and verbally eviscerated Hornswoggle. Quote of the night: “I am the avenging sword of taste and decency.” I want a shirt that says that. Tyson Kidd saves Hornswoggle, and Sandow leaves the ring. As Kidd and Hornswoggle celebrate, Sandow sneaks back in and beats up Kidd, hitting his neckbreaker finisher and doing the lazy sprawl on Kidd, then a cartwheel. His boyfriend Drew McIntyre comes out and hugs him. Sandow states that he never liked president Obama, but admits that it takes an enlightened president to endorse his alternative lifestyle and even an inferior ape like Obama can be right once in his life. He says the redneck homophobes in the audience should follow his lead.
Backstage, Striker interviews Kane. Basic “I’m going to get the title” promo from Kane. Striker asks about the look between Kane and A.J. on Raw, and Kane ignores it and stomps off. A.J. then appears from behind some crates. Wow, she’s stealing Johnny Curtis’s gimmick!
Teddy Long on the ramp introduces Antonio Cesaro and “his lover, Aksana.”
(6) Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) beat Jimmy Uso. Quick squash for Cesaro, who looked like a million bucks in victory. They forced Teddy Long to raise his hand at the end. Cesaro looks at Teddy and grabs a handful of Aksana. Teddy pouts.
Sin Cara is found laid out in the back with an iron phallus lying nearby.
(7) World Hvt. champion Sheamus beat Kane via DQ. About what you’d expect, right down to the DQ finish as Del Rio cleared Kane from the ring and beat up Sheamus. Kane re-entered, cleared Del Rio, but then A.J. made eyes at him from the ramp, letting Sheamus beat up Kane and send him packing. Snitsky sneak attacks AJ shattering a glass phallus across her face. A distraught Ezekiel Jackson appears and pulls tissue from his trunks and stuffs them in AJs mouth. Heidenreich is shown in the back watching with a disturbed Daniel Bryan.
Close show.
After the taping, Teddy Long comes out and says there must be a winner, and books Sheamus–Kane in a steel cage match for the World Heavyweight Championship. After they set up the cage, Arn Anderson comes out in a ref shirt as the “guest enforcer” (more like a guest referee). He bans Jackson and Snitsky from ringside.
Dark Match: World Hvt. champion Sheamus beat Kane in a steel cage match with Arn Anderson as special referee. Back-and-forth, and Kane pushed Double A, so Anderson low-blowed Kane, letting Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick for the win.
Biggest Pops
- Lilian Garcia (no lie, the roof blew off for her!)
- Triple H
- Great Khali
- Finish of the post-taping dark match
- Sheamus
- Ryback
Best Heat:
- Big Show
- Dolph Ziggler
- Ezekiel Jackson et al.
- Drew McIntyre
Alberto Del Rio opens with a recap of his attack on Sheamus on Raw. Ricardo Rodriguez is missing. Sheamus’s music hits, but it’s Rodriguez dressed up like Sheamus, including bright white tights and shirt to emulate Sheamus’s skin. He does a hilarious imitation of Sheamus as Del Rio interviews him. The real Sheamus comes out, and they end up brawling up the ramp. Teddy Long appears, dressed in a normal (for him, not for the rest of us) suit but with the big nametag. He says that the show is in his hands tonight, per John Laurinaitis, and he’s booking Sheamus vs. Kane as the main event and Del Rio vs. Khali to open the show immediately.
(1) Alberto Del Rio beat The Great Khali via submission. Del Rio attacks Khali’s knees, then softens the arm, and Khali taps to the cross arm-breaker. Rodriguez interferes a bit, too. Typical “smaller heel beats Khali by attacking the knees” match. The crowd goers nuts for Khali, I don’t get it.
Baskstage, Cameron dances for Teddy Long, and then Brodus Clay shows up. Long tells him that he is now permanently on Smackdown. Clay gets serious and says that he will treat his opponent tonight as if he is Big Show. Naomi and Ziggler show up and call Clay a joke. Ziggler says Clay is lucky he's on SD permanently because if he shows his sorry fat ass on RAW again he's going to beat him worse than Big Show. Clay goes to attack but Naomi stands in front of Ziggler. Ziggler threatens Clay with paralysis if he lays one hand on his nubian queen.
(2) Brodus Clay beat Derrick Bateman. Bateman gets squashed by Clay in a minute or two, then Clay dances with kids. I am a huge fan of both of these guys, but I was sad to see Bateman tossed out here like this. Big Show comes out and has a stare down with Clay. Zigger runs in and chokes Clay with a Bullwhip. Big Show knocks out Clay with the WMD and crushes his throat with a chair. He is stretchered out. Naomi offers to dance with one of the crying kids but they refuse. Ziggler spits on him.
(3) Sin Cara beat Drew McIntyre. This was basically a spotfest to make Sin Cara look good. McIntyre did his role like a pro. Sin Cara botched one move badly and McIntyre acted like it connected, very awkward. Sin Cara won with his DDT finisher.
Post-match (and not likely to go on TV from what I can tell), McIntyre cut a promo demanding that an authority figure come out and explain why he isn’t in the main event status. Triple H came out, hit a Pedigree. Damien Sandow confronts HHH and gets a pedigree for his trouble. When both men recover they state the joke is on HHH because they enjoyed it.
(4) Ryback beat Two Local Jobbers. You’ve seen this match before. Of course, the jobbers were from Clemson to get the Columbia audience riled up. Ryback changed it up a bit to keep the match formula fresh. The crowd loves Ryback, lots of “Feed! Me! More!” and “Finish It!” chants.
Backstage Orton is preparing to give an interview when he is attacked by Lord Tensai. Tensai spits mist in his face and chokes Orton until he passes out. Sakamodo presents Lord Tensai with a ceremonial cane and he pounds Orton with it. Orton has to be assisted by the trainers.
The crew was setting up for the Peep Show, but deliberately didn’t finish in time so Cody Rhodes could come out and destroy the half-assembled set. He ranted about Christian, who then came out. Rhodes reminds everyone that Christian was last seen as a heel, and says that no one is buying it. Christian finally explains his turn, and says that when he inducted Edge into the HOF, he had a moment of clarity and realized that he wants to be remembered for being a winner of championships, not someone who always whined for “one more match.” Good for them to do this. Dolph Ziggler interrupted for his match with Christian.
(5) IC champion Christian beat Dolph Ziggler in a non-title match. Good, long match. Christian won at the end with the frog splash. The crowd struggled to get into it, though. Post match Naomi attacked Christian with the IC title and Ziggler gave him the zig zag. Cody Rhodes came out and used a razor to cut Christians face. Refs and officials had to pull him off.
It's announced that Orton was injured in the attack by Lord Tensai and will be out indefinitely.
Raw Rebound.
Michael Cole got on the mic and asked everyone to “move on” past the mess from Monday. Heidenreich and Snitsky appear on the TitanTron. Heidenreich asks Cole if he's moved on from their encounter? Cole wets his pants. Snitsky says that Ezekiel Jackson is too distraught to appear tonight. Daniel Bryan is failing him and that harlot AJ is to blame. Snitsky says that he would love to taste AJ's feet, but doesn't know if attached to her body or not. If she doesn't stay out of Bryan's way he'll just have to find out. An inconsolable Ezekiel Jackson appears and sobs uncontrollably and says Bryan better win or he'll end up like Kofi and Cole.
JR’s music hit and the crowd went NUTS. Hornswoggle came out dressed as JR, and people were pretty disappointed, actually. He bantered with Cole. Damien Sandow came out and verbally eviscerated Hornswoggle. Quote of the night: “I am the avenging sword of taste and decency.” I want a shirt that says that. Tyson Kidd saves Hornswoggle, and Sandow leaves the ring. As Kidd and Hornswoggle celebrate, Sandow sneaks back in and beats up Kidd, hitting his neckbreaker finisher and doing the lazy sprawl on Kidd, then a cartwheel. His boyfriend Drew McIntyre comes out and hugs him. Sandow states that he never liked president Obama, but admits that it takes an enlightened president to endorse his alternative lifestyle and even an inferior ape like Obama can be right once in his life. He says the redneck homophobes in the audience should follow his lead.
Backstage, Striker interviews Kane. Basic “I’m going to get the title” promo from Kane. Striker asks about the look between Kane and A.J. on Raw, and Kane ignores it and stomps off. A.J. then appears from behind some crates. Wow, she’s stealing Johnny Curtis’s gimmick!
Teddy Long on the ramp introduces Antonio Cesaro and “his lover, Aksana.”
(6) Antonio Cesaro (w/Aksana) beat Jimmy Uso. Quick squash for Cesaro, who looked like a million bucks in victory. They forced Teddy Long to raise his hand at the end. Cesaro looks at Teddy and grabs a handful of Aksana. Teddy pouts.
Sin Cara is found laid out in the back with an iron phallus lying nearby.
(7) World Hvt. champion Sheamus beat Kane via DQ. About what you’d expect, right down to the DQ finish as Del Rio cleared Kane from the ring and beat up Sheamus. Kane re-entered, cleared Del Rio, but then A.J. made eyes at him from the ramp, letting Sheamus beat up Kane and send him packing. Snitsky sneak attacks AJ shattering a glass phallus across her face. A distraught Ezekiel Jackson appears and pulls tissue from his trunks and stuffs them in AJs mouth. Heidenreich is shown in the back watching with a disturbed Daniel Bryan.
Close show.
After the taping, Teddy Long comes out and says there must be a winner, and books Sheamus–Kane in a steel cage match for the World Heavyweight Championship. After they set up the cage, Arn Anderson comes out in a ref shirt as the “guest enforcer” (more like a guest referee). He bans Jackson and Snitsky from ringside.
Dark Match: World Hvt. champion Sheamus beat Kane in a steel cage match with Arn Anderson as special referee. Back-and-forth, and Kane pushed Double A, so Anderson low-blowed Kane, letting Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick for the win.
Biggest Pops
- Lilian Garcia (no lie, the roof blew off for her!)
- Triple H
- Great Khali
- Finish of the post-taping dark match
- Sheamus
- Ryback
Best Heat:
- Big Show
- Dolph Ziggler
- Ezekiel Jackson et al.
- Drew McIntyre
@ AJ stealing Johnny Curtis' creepy stalk. Unless dude is being moved to the main roster to be a creepy couple with her I am not amused.
@ them having a phallus made of every material known to man.
@ his W/L record in 2012. Like a high end jobber used strictly to put over any/everyone, lol.
You didn't even like Bryan on the other site.