CEITEDMOFO
Banned
http://www.esquire.com/women/advice-98-year-old
nterviewee: Pauline, 98, retired mother of two. Divorced. Lives in Florida; grew up in New York. Married in 1923, 1941, and 1959.
Did you have lots of boyfriends growing up in the 1930s?
I never had boyfriend trouble. I always had plenty of guys. Always.
You’ve been married three times. Tell me about the first.
Oh, Christ. The first time was right after I graduated from prep school. I was seventeen years old—what did I know about living? Nothing. He wasn’t for me but I married him anyway. I didn’t know any better. I had my kids with him, so it was worth it. Then I divorced him. Then someone fixed me up with a man from Chattanooga. He was the cheapest son of a bytch that ever lived. So I divorced him, too.
What else didn’t you like about him?
I’m telling you a very intimate thing here…[lowers her voice.] His ding-dong was very small. So he went for an operation and they made it bigger.
He splurged on that?
Yes he did. But I couldn’t stay married to him.
Why not?
He was too cheap! [laughs] Then I married Bill Simmons. He was quite a man, I’m telling you. He was terrific. Very bright. And he was mad about me. We had a wonderful time. But he died, and I haven’t been married since. Although I did have a lover. One special man.
What was he like?
He was married! [laughs] His daughter was married to my brother, okay? He was in the ready-to-wear business. He was one of the big shots when they started making t-shirts. We went together for years. I used to meet him on Saturdays and we’d go to a suite at the Waldorf Astoria.
So you’ve had three husbands and one lover. Which one were you the most mad about?
My lover.
Why?
An affair is very different than a marriage because you can break it off at anytime. And this man made life very exciting. It was never dull around him. I like when a man has money and he can take me places and buy me things. All women do. Don’t let anybody tell you differently, okay? If he would buy his wife a present, he would buy me a better one. He once bought her a diamond heart, and the next day he brought me a gorgeous diamond bracelet, very expensive. You see what I’m telling you? Tit for tat. Nothing was too good for me.
So we need to make our marriages more like affairs—is that your advice?
Yes. Then it becomes exciting!
How was his relationship with his wife?
He never got along with his wife. I shouldn’t say never—what do I know? Her family had money, they were in the fish business. He didn’t come from money, and I think that’s why he married her. But he was always running around.
Did his wife know?
I’ll tell you a story. They used to have a summer place up in Maine. One day, they were on their way up there and they stopped by my work—I worked in a shoe factory at the time. And shecame into my office and said, “Would you please come with us?” And I said, “Hell no. What am I going up there for?” And she said, “Because he’s miserable without you.” I’ll never forget that.
Did you go?
Yeah, I went.
So she knew the whole time?
She knew. But she couldn’t do anything about it. She was a nice lady, but she wasn’t a prettylady. And she wasn’t an exciting lady. But they stayed married until he died. I’m sure he had many women in his life besides me.
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