Serious thread (non-political) help.

[VerbalIntercourse]

I just had a long conversation with my mom because my sister didn't invite me to her "wedding". she was doing some small get together for her vows. She lives like 400 miles away, but I would have still went on a dime.

I rarely talk to my sister. She became a VP at some firm like 3 years ago, and I found out about it literally last christmas. She is a very intense person. That's not really what this is about, though.

What this is about.. She invited people from my paternal family, but nobody from my maternal family. I don't think anyone in my maternal family even know anything about her. My mom told me that my sister says she hates everyone in my mother's family. She said, "nobody calls her, nobody visits her". I understand somewhat. It's not really her fault. We, Her and I, are very different from my maternal family. We don't fit in at all. They can't relate to us and we can't relate to them. It's nobody's fault really.

It all just boils down to the race factor.

At the holidays, my sister says all kinds of fukked-up racist shyt about african Americans. Right in front of my mom. She has had powerful positions in her career, and she once bragged about her discriminatory actions. She has never had any black friends and any black boyfriends. and, unlike me, she has totally removed herself from black culture--no rap, hip-hop, soul music, R&b. No urban clothing and NO black movies ever.

She is getting married to a white guy who called the NAACP "a bunch of whiny babies".

How the fukk did we end up like this? We both had the same upbringing. We both look predominantly SEA, except she is much lighter than me. We were both ridiculed by black people even our own family. We were Called gooks and chinks, but we were always embraced by the large South East Asian community in our home town. I try to reconcile my resentment on Sohh.com. Just by talking with black people online. I guess. However, its manifested in her as some burning hatred.

My mom told me, just a few hours ago, that she tried to kill herself like 3 times in the last ten years. She ended up in the hospital twice. Of course, I never know anything about this because she never calls me or talks me. Nobody else knows either. She doesn't have any family, only friends. I am sure that makes her feel bad

Is growing up in this Mixed-race family the key determent in all this drama? How can we(my sister and I) live our lives without the punishment of diversity?

 

[EQ.]

Damn, therapy breh not much an internet forum can do for you

 

[stealthbomber]

no offense but u got some serious family problems.

u didnt make it clear tho, what are u mixed with?

 

[OsO]

best advice i can give... dont let the racism and ignorance of other people be an excuse for your own racism and ignorance.

youre part black dude. your mom is black and so according to societies racial constructs you and your sister are at least a part black.

but dont complain about being discriminated against when you yourself are discriminating against others, who are your own people in fact.

you and your mother are letting other people define your identity and define your worth, which is not good.

you have to love yourself. and not let others define you.

i hope you can receive this

 

[Habit]

All I can tell you, if you spent 5 or 10 years being distant, you might end up spend 10 or 20 years trying to reconnect. That's life, you should have made more effort. If you want to be back in her life, work on the relationship, but forget about judging her or changing her let her have her freedom of choice.

 

[Techniec]

I just had a long conversation with my mom because my sister didn't invite me to her "wedding". she was doing some small get together for her vows. She lives like 400 miles away, but I would have still went on a dime.

I rarely talk to my sister. She became a VP at some firm like 3 years ago, and I found out about it literally last christmas. She is a very intense person. That's not really what this is about, though.

What this is about.. She invited people from my paternal family, but nobody from my maternal family. I don't think anyone in my maternal family even know anything about her. My mom told me that my sister says she hates everyone in my mother's family. She said, "nobody calls her, nobody visits her". I understand somewhat. It's not really her fault. We, Her and I, are very different from my maternal family. We don't fit in at all. They can't relate to us and we can't relate to them. It's nobody's fault really.

It all just boils down to the race factor.

At the holidays, my sister says all kinds of fukked-up racist shyt about african Americans. Right in front of my mom. She has had powerful positions in her career, and she once bragged about her discriminatory actions. She has never had any black friends and any black boyfriends. and, unlike me, she has totally removed herself from black culture--no rap, hip-hop, soul music, R&b. No urban clothing and NO black movies ever.

She is getting married to a white guy who called the NAACP "a bunch of whiny babies".

How the fukk did we end up like this? We both had the same upbringing. We both look predominantly SEA, except she is much lighter than me. We were both ridiculed by black people even our own family. We were Called gooks and chinks, but we were always embraced by the large South East Asian community in our home town. I try to reconcile my resentment on Sohh.com. Just by talking with black people online. I guess. However, its manifested in her as some burning hatred.

My mom told me, just a few hours ago, that she tried to kill herself like 3 times in the last ten years. She ended up in the hospital twice. Of course, I never know anything about this because she never calls me or talks me. Nobody else knows either. She doesn't have any family, only friends. I am sure that makes her feel bad

Is growing up in this Mixed-race family the key determent in all this drama? How can we(my sister and I) live our lives without the punishment of diversity?

This is because she wasn't taught to love and respect her black ancestry, which you can blame on society and/or upbringing

Any blood in you should be honored. Can't offer much in the way of assistance, such thinking is foreign to me

 

[RC-P90]

yo' problems dont come from being 'mixed-race'...you dont have the constitution to overcome the circumstances of your existence...count yourself among the individuals broken by their station...

 

[88m3]

 

[Gallo]

No offense. Simply put you're a bytch. Your behavior tells me you're a bytch. Didn't you pull a gun out on a few broads? Men aren't threaten by women in any way shape or form - emotionally, intellectually and certainly not physically. It's like you're even afraid of your sister. If my sister ever attempted some stunt like not inviting me to her wedding im still showing up and sabotaging if she felt like bytching. "Oh u not gonna invite me? Haha" Im throwing chairs and flipping over the cake table with poise and a grin on my face. And im gonna grab some off the floor for later. Get into some manly stuff - start mma, back pack through the 3rd world, skydiving, seal boot camp for civilians, motorcycles, boxing gym, skirt chasing, organized sports. It will bring out your man qualities - things like poise when bytch dudes try to be racist, confidence in the face of broads you think are attempting to challenge your manhood, charisma to make your sis love you despite your flaws.

 

[Habit]

No offense. Simply put you're a bytch. Your behavior tell me you're a bytch. Didn't you pull a gun out on a few broads? Men aren't threaten by women in any way shape or form - emotionally, intellectually and certainly not physically. It's like you're even afraid of your sister. If my sister ever tried some stunt like not inviting me to her wedding im still showing up and sabotaging if she felt like bytching. "Of u not gonna invite me? Haha" Im throwing chairs and flipping over the cake table with poise and a grin on my face. And im gonna grab some off the floor for later. Get into some manly stuff - start mma, back pack through the 3rd world, skydiving, seal boot camp for civilians, boxing gym, skirt chasing, organized sports. It will bring your man qualities out - things like poise when bytch dudes try to be racist, confidence in the face of broads you think are attempting to challenge your manhood, charisma to make your sis love you despite your flaws.

Whatever approach he takes its gonna take some time to heal their relationship. Also, she tried to kill herself 3 times, so she probably came back a different person after each failed suicide. I wish him the best of luck, I learned a long time ago you gotta nip shiit like this in the bud. So its gonna be a slow process, best thing is show up and make sure she sees you made the effort.

 

[Gallo]

Whatever approach he takes its gonna take some time to heal their relationship. Also, she tried to kill herself 3 times, so she probably came back a different person after each failed suicide. I wish him the best of luck, I learned a long time ago you gotta nip shiit like this in the bud. So its gonna be a slow process, best thing is show up and make sure she sees you made the effort.

True she did try to kill herself but you get the gist. Its the mentality that says "that's the little sis - show up with some candy or whatever, fukk what they might think" versus "omg omg omg i dont know what to do. Help." If he wants a chance at preserving any semblance of family, his little sis, he must stop being a bytch in a family of bytches. He has to end the cycle.

 

[Slystallion]

More than just mixed issues...you says she was ridiculed by African Americans so therefore she probably uses those experiences to justify her hatred for African Americans and wrongly assumed all blacks were like that. Her trying to kill herself goes way deeper into her psyche...could be triggered with drugs like ecstasy and Molly due to the crazy one night boost in positive brain stimulation I forgot what the hormone was called but it causes a complete depletion that takes a month to regenerate and leaves you depressed. Other things must have triggered a complete loss of hope and without speaking to her there is no way to know what triggered those feelings of hopelessness.

 

[Habit]

More than just mixed issues...you says she was ridiculed by African Americans so therefore she probably uses those experiences to justify her hatred for African Americans and wrongly assumed all blacks were like that. Her trying to kill herself goes way deeper into her psyche...could be triggered with drugs like ecstasy and Molly due to the crazy one night boost in positive brain stimulation I forgot what the hormone was called but it causes a complete depletion that takes a month to regenerate and leaves you depressed. Other things must have triggered a complete loss of hope and without speaking to her there is no way to know what triggered those feelings of hopelessness.

Or maybe she just had emotional issues, and the lack of support from her family didn't help. At least she is still in contact with her mother. Why should she connect with the rest of her family if they never cared in the first place? She should focus on the ones who matter. She is too old to be trying to please others.

 

[Dusty Bake Activate]

I just had a long conversation with my mom because my sister didn't invite me to her "wedding". she was doing some small get together for her vows. She lives like 400 miles away, but I would have still went on a dime.

I rarely talk to my sister. She became a VP at some firm like 3 years ago, and I found out about it literally last christmas. She is a very intense person. That's not really what this is about, though.

What this is about.. She invited people from my paternal family, but nobody from my maternal family. I don't think anyone in my maternal family even know anything about her. My mom told me that my sister says she hates everyone in my mother's family. She said, "nobody calls her, nobody visits her". I understand somewhat. It's not really her fault. We, Her and I, are very different from my maternal family. We don't fit in at all. They can't relate to us and we can't relate to them. It's nobody's fault really.

It all just boils down to the race factor.

At the holidays, my sister says all kinds of fukked-up racist shyt about african Americans. Right in front of my mom. She has had powerful positions in her career, and she once bragged about her discriminatory actions. She has never had any black friends and any black boyfriends. and, unlike me, she has totally removed herself from black culture--no rap, hip-hop, soul music, R&b. No urban clothing and NO black movies ever.

She is getting married to a white guy who called the NAACP "a bunch of whiny babies".

How the fukk did we end up like this? We both had the same upbringing. We both look predominantly SEA, except she is much lighter than me. We were both ridiculed by black people even our own family. We were Called gooks and chinks, but we were always embraced by the large South East Asian community in our home town. I try to reconcile my resentment on Sohh.com. Just by talking with black people online. I guess. However, its manifested in her as some burning hatred.

My mom told me, just a few hours ago, that she tried to kill herself like 3 times in the last ten years. She ended up in the hospital twice. Of course, I never know anything about this because she never calls me or talks me. Nobody else knows either. She doesn't have any family, only friends. I am sure that makes her feel bad

Is growing up in this Mixed-race family the key determent in all this drama? How can we(my sister and I) live our lives without the punishment of diversity?

I don't know. She sounds like even a crazier c*nt than you. But as a biracial person, I find it offensive how you persistently try to chalk up all your family and psychological issues and general state of bytchassness to being from a mixed family. Even as I was reading your story, I knew eventually it would come down to "Why did I have to be born mixed nobody loves me." It makes it very hard to empathize with you.

Also, several posters like myself have suggested you seek cognitive behavioral therapy, but you reject our advice and say psychology is bullshyt. So what do you want us to tell you? You're not going to get the help you seek from posters on a message board, most of whom feel a negative way toward you.